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posted on Feb, 26 2013 @ 03:51 PM
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reply to post by Mister_Bit
 


I've had this problem. You are not alone.

Most people see me or hear my "rants" and think I'm the devil incarnate. But, in reality, I always give everyone the benefit of the doubt, and let it slide when I see some of their "wrong doings..."

No one would think it of me, because I appear so mean. That's probrably a contributing factor as to why I often get mistreated as well.

But, no matter the pain and anguish that comes with it, never change. Never let hate and anger warp you. You're a prize in our dark world. Now drop the assholes and find some people worth hanging onto.




posted on Feb, 27 2013 @ 02:18 AM
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reply to post by Mister_Bit
 

Seems to me you should either change what you don't like about yourself or stop complaining about the results you get for being you. We are all responsible for ourselves and no one is obligated to respond or not respond to us in a manner we like or prefer, it is up to us if we don't like those responses and decide not to expose ourselves to the disappointments.

However, the universe needs victims, just as Buzzards gotta eat, same as worms.



posted on Feb, 27 2013 @ 06:25 AM
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reply to post by Mister_Bit
 


I don't normally click on rant threads like this but I'm glad I did. Life feels a little less awful knowing others out there have the same feelings and experiences.

Also I agree what is wrong with making the person you love, would die for, feel special and loved all the time? It's never worked for me though, it always backfires. I don't really know the answer other than to say it's most likely down to evolution. A lot of women still seem to want the caged beast as their sperm donor and illicit lover and the reliable sap as their cuckolded provider.

I also have had the same problems with friendships and I have recently had to cut two friends (one of 24 year standing) off. One was a completely neurotic, pathetic, coward. I even used to carry around illegal items for him because he had more to lose if we got caught. I thought fine you're a coward, you can't help being a coward so I'll protect you if you ever need it. And twice I stepped in front of him in violent situations he had got involved in and he legged it, and I'm disabled! One time his girl was getting hassled physically at a gig and he ignored it. I had to punch the guy and put him on the ground myself.

Anyway last straw came on a weekend away when he demanded that I a disabled forty-something bloke climb out of the hotel window through the iron bars onto the roof of the hotel just to have a cigarette because he was so scared the police might come and arrest us for smoking in a non-smoking hotel. The hotel knew we were smokers so they put us in the worst room at the back covered in cigatte burns, with non functioning equipment and pubes in the bath. They knew we would smoke and were doing us a favour by sticking us at the back out out of the way.

Although I did it the first night for the sake of friendship and the holiday, I refused the following nights and he tried the alpha ale verbal tyrade on me and I just laughed and turned up my headphones. When he realised he couldn't 'alpha male' me he tried the 'stroppy moody female' angle and I laughed again. After that he had no more moves left so he just got into his bed and pulled the blankets over his head and i carried on smoking. I stayed polite until the end of the holiday and just cut him off completely after that, it took nearly five months for my back to recover to pre climbing through the window with iron bars condition.

I should have had it out with him properly but I thought what's the point? I never want to see him again so why tear strips off him just for my own pleasure. So when we got home I simply deleted him from my life. Surprisingly it took him months to even realise there was an issue between us. But thankfully the texts and emails ave long since ceased.

I do my best not to allow ego into my friendships, but this often backfires because they see that as subordination to their wrongly percieved and non-existent alpha male status. They totally misunderstand me though and will always eventually find out. So many people use mind games in relationships whether romantic or platonic. I let them play those games because I just can't be bothered, it's not worth the effort. I think I must be more evolved than them.

edit on 27-2-2013 by merkins because: Typs



posted on Feb, 27 2013 @ 06:36 AM
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reply to post by Mister_Bit
 


The way I see it, is that people are relating to you using the only thing that they know about you: Your occupation.

They don't look at you as a person with thoughts and feelings just like them, they see you as some unimportant peon who does (to them) menial work that deserves the least of respect and even less of their time.

I suppose if you came in there as an important client or someone that they wanted something from, all dressed to the part with maybe a sycophant aide or two fawning all over you, they would go out of their way to suck your butt.

"Hey, this guy is IMPORTANT, better be nice to him, because he is a superior human being."

I've done all kinds of jobs in my day, from farm work, bagging groceries, delivering pizzas, police officer, and an engineer ... listed in order of least to best in how I was treated by others in their "approval" and "respect" for my position.

It's why when I go to a grocery store, I insist on bagging my own stuff. Servers at restaurants and delivery drivers always get awesome tips, even if my meal was less than perfect but they were nice and honestly trying. Whenever someone goes out of their way to do something extra for me that they don't have to do at all gets big notice from me, and not just in a polite "thank you".

Some people will never experience what it's like to start out at the bottom, and they will probably never get it.

It does not mean there is anything wrong with you.

Just keep being the awesome human being that you are and the rest will take care of itself.

I hope this helps.



posted on Feb, 27 2013 @ 08:16 AM
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I can say, I feel most of your pain. I think really it comes down to people do not respect anything or anyone. Well, most people! My daughter tells me all the time " mom, you just can't seem to say no." It is the truth, I do and do but no one even cares. My so called friends don't talk to me for months, until they need something. I never forget a birthday and yet no one seems to be able to remember mine. I have gotten to the point where I do not care. It is leaving me bitter though. I still do and do, I just don't let it bother me. I make the choice to be a stepping stone. I hope things get better. Oh, maybe all those people are so unhappy with their lives and jobs, that they can't even manage a hello.



posted on Feb, 27 2013 @ 11:53 AM
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reply to post by Mister_Bit
 


Tupac Shakur once said: How can I be an angel surrounded by devils...

Makes sense actually.



posted on Feb, 27 2013 @ 12:13 PM
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Im going to keep this relatively short... I feel you, our culture is set up to encourage agressiveness, it's egocentric and yes, intended to ostracize those who don't buy into it. I don't see your being "nice" as weakness. If anything, it's a sign of great courage... staring a self-centered system in the eye as a selfless individual is a tough thing to do but, I urge you to keep it up. The only way we'll ever change the world for the better is to stick to our (metaphorical) guns... to care more about our communities than our wallets and yea, to be nice to each other.



posted on Feb, 27 2013 @ 12:44 PM
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Originally posted by XxNightAngelusxX
reply to post by Mister_Bit
 


I've had this problem. You are not alone.

Most people see me or hear my "rants" and think I'm the devil incarnate. But, in reality, I always give everyone the benefit of the doubt, and let it slide when I see some of their "wrong doings..."

No one would think it of me, because I appear so mean. That's probrably a contributing factor as to why I often get mistreated as well.

But, no matter the pain and anguish that comes with it, never change. Never let hate and anger warp you. You're a prize in our dark world. Now drop the assholes and find some people worth hanging onto.
You're right
I'll never change, it's just who I am, I can't help it!

Thanks for the kind words



posted on Feb, 27 2013 @ 12:48 PM
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Originally posted by MajorKarma
reply to post by Mister_Bit
 

Seems to me you should either change what you don't like about yourself or stop complaining about the results you get for being you. We are all responsible for ourselves and no one is obligated to respond or not respond to us in a manner we like or prefer, it is up to us if we don't like those responses and decide not to expose ourselves to the disappointments.

However, the universe needs victims, just as Buzzards gotta eat, same as worms.
Thanks, in a way you're right and wrong lol


I'm certainly no victim and I don't shy away from conflict if I have to but I do avoid it as much as possible.

As for taking responsibility, yep... Most of the time it's just water of a ducks back but when you get 5 or 6 non responses in a row it can become difficult.



posted on Feb, 27 2013 @ 12:56 PM
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Originally posted by merkins
reply to post by Mister_Bit
 


I don't normally click on rant threads like this but I'm glad I did. Life feels a little less awful knowing others out there have the same feelings and experiences.

Also I agree what is wrong with making the person you love, would die for, feel special and loved all the time? It's never worked for me though, it always backfires. I don't really know the answer other than to say it's most likely down to evolution. A lot of women still seem to want the caged beast as their sperm donor and illicit lover and the reliable sap as their cuckolded provider.

I also have had the same problems with friendships and I have recently had to cut two friends (one of 24 year standing) off. One was a completely neurotic, pathetic, coward. I even used to carry around illegal items for him because he had more to lose if we got caught. I thought fine you're a coward, you can't help being a coward so I'll protect you if you ever need it. And twice I stepped in front of him in violent situations he had got involved in and he legged it, and I'm disabled! One time his girl was getting hassled physically at a gig and he ignored it. I had to punch the guy and put him on the ground myself.

I let them play those games because I just can't be bothered, it's not worth the effort. I think I must be more evolved than them.

edit on 27-2-2013 by merkins because: Typs
After reading the responses it does feel good to know people feel the same and that I'm not a "nutter" lol

My friendship was also around 24 years and as it happens he was also a coward. It's difficult to maintain friendships when it's all "take" from one side. You'll do your best by your friend as much as possible but there has to be limits.

I agree with the mind games, I can see them a mile away... I'm no genius but I studied psychology and sociology so I have to giggle inside when I see people playing them.



posted on Feb, 27 2013 @ 01:01 PM
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Originally posted by KyrieEleison
reply to post by Mister_Bit
 


The way I see it, is that people are relating to you using the only thing that they know about you: Your occupation.

They don't look at you as a person with thoughts and feelings just like them, they see you as some unimportant peon who does (to them) menial work that deserves the least of respect and even less of their time.

I suppose if you came in there as an important client or someone that they wanted something from, all dressed to the part with maybe a sycophant aide or two fawning all over you, they would go out of their way to suck your butt.

"Hey, this guy is IMPORTANT, better be nice to him, because he is a superior human being."

I've done all kinds of jobs in my day, from farm work, bagging groceries, delivering pizzas, police officer, and an engineer ... listed in order of least to best in how I was treated by others in their "approval" and "respect" for my position.

It's why when I go to a grocery store, I insist on bagging my own stuff. Servers at restaurants and delivery drivers always get awesome tips, even if my meal was less than perfect but they were nice and honestly trying. Whenever someone goes out of their way to do something extra for me that they don't have to do at all gets big notice from me, and not just in a polite "thank you".

Some people will never experience what it's like to start out at the bottom, and they will probably never get it.

It does not mean there is anything wrong with you.

Just keep being the awesome human being that you are and the rest will take care of itself.

I hope this helps.
Thanks! It's a real shame isn't it that people can't see beyond the uniform or the job you do. Afterall, it doesn't define most of us, it's just a way for us to earn the cash we need in life.

I personally am not intimidated by anyone and I don't mean that in a negative way, I mean that I see everyone as a human being and friend until they give me reason enough not too.

I try to rationalize it in my mind by thinking "it's nothing personal" but then I think "well yes it is, I'm stood in front of them saying hello and they choose to ignore it, how can it not be personal?"

As much as it aggrivates and I'll be honest, it does hurt sometimes, I can't help caring and I'll never change who I am.



posted on Feb, 27 2013 @ 01:04 PM
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Originally posted by kaidec
I can say, I feel most of your pain. I think really it comes down to people do not respect anything or anyone. Well, most people! My daughter tells me all the time " mom, you just can't seem to say no." It is the truth, I do and do but no one even cares. My so called friends don't talk to me for months, until they need something. I never forget a birthday and yet no one seems to be able to remember mine. I have gotten to the point where I do not care. It is leaving me bitter though. I still do and do, I just don't let it bother me. I make the choice to be a stepping stone. I hope things get better. Oh, maybe all those people are so unhappy with their lives and jobs, that they can't even manage a hello.
Spot on with the lack of respect these days, it seems to be a "me me me" society now and people can't see beyond themselves.

This is why like you, I always give people the benefit of the doubt and keep being friendly and nice.



posted on Feb, 27 2013 @ 01:06 PM
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Originally posted by Evanzsayz
reply to post by Mister_Bit
 


Tupac Shakur once said: How can I be an angel surrounded by devils...

Makes sense actually.
It makes a lot of sense!! I can't help feeling that I do my little bit to try and make peoples passage on this planet a little lighter. (Bleh, sounds a bit sanctimonious but hopefully you know what I mean lol)



posted on Feb, 27 2013 @ 01:10 PM
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Originally posted by ARTheory
Im going to keep this relatively short... I feel you, our culture is set up to encourage agressiveness, it's egocentric and yes, intended to ostracize those who don't buy into it. I don't see your being "nice" as weakness. If anything, it's a sign of great courage... staring a self-centered system in the eye as a selfless individual is a tough thing to do but, I urge you to keep it up. The only way we'll ever change the world for the better is to stick to our (metaphorical) guns... to care more about our communities than our wallets and yea, to be nice to each other.
Yeah!!


It's like the ripple effect, or at least I see it that way. If we all tried to be a little nicer to each other hopefully one day we'll realise it's so much better than profit. You can be a millionaire and be lonely and sad or penniless and rich with happiness... I know which I'd go for.



posted on Feb, 27 2013 @ 02:21 PM
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Mister_bit,

I wouldn't let it get you down, we seem to be a dying breed "the nice guy". I think in order to change things for the better the key lies in teaching the next generation that we are all people and as such are all worthy of a smile and respect. Your post reminded me of a rant that I read somewhere else that I will repost here. It is not about friendliness or greetings and smiles, but about relationships with the opposite sex and the difficulties that the nice guys face. Fear not, we will have our day and until then you just keep on greeting and smiling there are those of us amongst the sheep that will smile and greet back.


Ode to the Nice Guys
This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate Journal
This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what a**holes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.
edit on 27-2-2013 by Darkphoenix77 because: potty words edited
edit on 27-2-2013 by Darkphoenix77 because: typo



posted on Feb, 27 2013 @ 05:31 PM
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reply to post by Darkphoenix77
 


Thanks for sharing that, it was a very interesting read.

I specifically did not mention the whole women and relationships aspect of it, and I hope this does not cause too much topical drift but I'd like to share my thoughts on the matter:

It seems that some people make a faulty correlation that being respectful and well-mannered in public somehow translates into being very meek and boring in the bedroom. That is to say, that unless I walk around like a knuckle-dragging silverback "alpha-male", that I will be a very unsatisfying lover, and to many women that is a big turn-off.

I can't speak for all males, but ladies, you could not be more wrong in this regard.

To turn the tables around, any woman who goes out of their way to exhude their sexuality towards me in a very superficial manner as if they want to be treated as a mere object or piece of meat is a huge turn-off, because it is only superficial at best. A female friend of mine once told me that women of this sort are to be avoided like the plague.

Without any other kind of connection the relationship would meet a quick end, being a huge waste of time - time that I could have been spending looking for someone who cares.

Sexuality is not just about raw, brute force or the feeling of being desired - it is steeped in the psychological also, and those who ignore this aspect of it sometimes find themselves feeling hollow and carrying around lots of unwanted baggage.

Henry Rollins wrote a song that touched on the idea that people who are only out for a lay are essentially just masturbating using another human being as a tool to "git 'er done", and I think a lot can be said for that.



posted on Feb, 28 2013 @ 10:13 AM
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Originally posted by Mister_Bit

Originally posted by XxNightAngelusxX
reply to post by Mister_Bit
 


I've had this problem. You are not alone.

Most people see me or hear my "rants" and think I'm the devil incarnate. But, in reality, I always give everyone the benefit of the doubt, and let it slide when I see some of their "wrong doings..."

No one would think it of me, because I appear so mean. That's probrably a contributing factor as to why I often get mistreated as well.

But, no matter the pain and anguish that comes with it, never change. Never let hate and anger warp you. You're a prize in our dark world. Now drop the assholes and find some people worth hanging onto.
You're right
I'll never change, it's just who I am, I can't help it!

Thanks for the kind words


You're welcome friend. There are few worth while people left out there... they must look out for one another.

Keep strong.







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