I care too much.
I know this, I've been told this many times from many different people from different walks of life.
I'm too nice, I've been told this many times from many different people and I know this also.
So why should I care?
I am constantly trodden down, ignored, stabbed in the back, singled out and given grief and all because I am "too nice" and care too much.
It's seen as a sign of weakness. Because I don't bite back it's seen as weakness but DO NOT confuse my ability to forgive and walk away as
weakness.... If you keep pushing I will bite back eventually and believe me you wont like it.
The problem is, I don't like to bite back and I feel worse for defending myself and standing up for myself... I'm by no means a pushover, no sir..
In fact in given situtations I'm probably the most stubborn person I know...
I guess I just don't like or enjoy conflict and will avoid it as much as I can but given the circumstances I will.
I see a lot of people in my job and you wouldn't believe the amount of abuse I get (I'm a courier)..... WAIT A MINUTE.. You don't even know me!!
Why the attitude? Why the abuse?
The amount of times I walk into a reception with a big smile on my face ""Good Morning, How are you? I have a box of goodies for you"" I'll say,
full of happiness... just to be looked in the face and ignored... I mean ignored to, they look at me, they don't smile, they don't reply.... they
Erm... excuse me... where the hell are your manners? I just spoke to you? I just asked you a question.. you could at least reply.
When I ask how someone is, I genuinely want to know how they are... otherwise I wouldn't have asked right?
Bit too personal maybe? How about just a "hello" then or "Good morning"
I walked into another building the other day, there must have been 20 people sitting there and I said "Good Morning everyone" smiling as I usually
do.... NOT ONE of them answered me... they all looked at me, they all saw I was there, they all heard what I said... not one answer.
You got a problem with my company? You got a problem with couriers in general? None of this should matter.. I am there in front of you extending a
greeting as a person, as another fellow human being.. can't you even acknowledge I exist?
I would do anything for anyone.. I don't have to know you to help you. I care about you as another human being. I don't want reward or praise, just
a smile and a thankyou is plenty and yet some can't even bring themselves to even say "hello" back to me.
I see certain people every day, in fact I've seen certain people every day for the past 6 years or so and still they can't bring themselves to say
"hello" or "good morning" back to me... I dont' want to be your friend but we see each other every day, the least you can do is acknowledge that
fact with a greeting. And yet, there I am... the stupid fool, I'll still walk in, every morning, a smile on my face.. "Good Morning, how are
I find it so alien to ignore someone... I can't understand how people do it.
I've had my "best" friend (yeah right...) stab me in the back to sleep with my then girlfriend. I used to blame him for that, I was very very
angry... but I now blame her just as much. I don't speak to either of them now. But why did they do that? My supposed best friend, who at the drop of
a hat I'd do any favour for, I'd be there to hold him up when he needed it, to support him when he was depressed, to be an ear for him to bawl into
when he needed to rant.... and my girlfriend, we were planning a baby together, we'd seen a house we were going to buy... etc etc..
He was engaged at the time to another woman, should I take revenge and let her know? Spoil his life for him the same way he spoilt mine?
Am I angry now? No... I've forgiven them... I will never forget mind you and I will not give them the time of day now.
I had the same problem when my wife ran off with another man (prior to that last girlfriend by the way haha) I'd have died for that woman. I still
love her deeply.
So, why do I care so much? As much as I am nice, as good a job as I try to do and as friendly as I try to be I keep getting flak and abuse and yet I
still do it.
It hurts, I wish I didn't care so much but all I can do is remember this saying from the Hopi Indians...
Thanks for allowing me this rant, just needed to vent some steam.