posted on Feb, 24 2013 @ 04:29 PM
Yes, I hear ya. Waiting since I was a very young girl. Waiting, waiting. Always felt that the world as we know it, society as we know it, would change
drastically during my lifetime, when I was older. That colored my view of my life. Sometimes I regret falling under the spell of this "waiting" for
some type of grand change.
I always had this "back of my head" feeling that -- what's the point of ANYTHING I do in normal, everyday life, because the world was going to
change and nothing I was doing was going to change that or prepare for this great change. This feeling I had wasn't from books, wasn't from 2012
talk, wasn't anything but what I "knew" inside me since elementary school. I told no one, as I had the sense that no one felt this feeling, since I
never heard it spoken of.
It colored my inner world so much that I worred for my kids, what kind of future would they have, would they survive whatever change was coming, would
it be a life worth living or some type of Mad Maxx world? When older, I read a lot of far out stuff, and did learn about 2012 and wondered, could that
be it? But as 2012 drew nearer, I realized that wasn't it.
I worried as I commuted, worked 10 hour days, climbed the ladder, raised my kids, paid my bills---was it all for naught? I worried that I wasn't
"prepping" in a sense (long before I ever heard of preppers) -- meaning I wasn't learning how to survive off the land, live without societal norms,
farm, hunt, gather -- make candles for god's sake! I worried that I wasn't "prepping" for a spiritual shift, becoming open, aware, enlightened.
Nagging feeling that would never leave me and one that I couldn't share with anyone.
Sometimes I think, what a waste of a lifetime, worrying, wondering, trying to learn more about non-traditional things in a world that sees that as
crazy. Sometimes I think it was a "trick" if you will, a big cosmic trick, leading many of us to think great change was coming, have some anxiety
about it, be afraid maybe, or spend time chasing our tails with metaphysical, religious or other roads, trying to figure it all out.
Now, I think I've come to a place of "aaaahhhh." A letting go of all this. I am past the age of 40, when I was sure my life was going to change
completely as the world was going to change completely then.
Yet, there's a place in me that wonders if indeed the changes are in the process and we're in midst of it. However, we're the proverbial frogs in
the kettle as the heat grows. Boiled alive, not jumping out, and one day our society will be completely changed from when we were little ones -- any
sense of freedom and justice, gone.
What say you all?