God bless you, ATS... for having a RANT section, and a site full of like-minded eye-opened individuals who generally understand where I'm coming
Okay. Have ANY of you ever had friends like this? Let me explain.
I have a very close friend with some pretty interesting bi-polar. He's awesome.
Granted, he's had his share of problems, and he's even gotten into a few physical confrontations with my other former friends over REALLY petty
issues. BUT! That was before he quit his anti-depressant suicide pills.
Since he quit them, he's actually been a lot ore level headed, and hasn't gotten in a fight since.
I met him for the second time a year ago, but I actually knew him in the 8th grade, so technically, I've known him for about five years. He's one of
my best friends, and one of the most important people in my life. He draws anime, like I do, he's had pretty bad anger issues in the past, like I
have, and he's generally just an awesome person.... to me, anyway.
But, he also handles problems the way I do. Hides them from everyone else.
Actually, I use ATS to vent, while he uses facebook... but on a whole, be both hide our biggest problems from our inner circle. Until recently, that
is. Recently, I began to trust people a little more, and I started to "let them in."
Now, let me tell you--I've always been concerned about our friendship. He has a pride complex, and ironically, so do I. We both look DOWN on
situations, because we believe we're ABOVE everything. BUT! I almost NEVER do this anymore. Only in the past year or so have I realized how
asshole-ish it was to claim such a disposition, and I dismissed it.
Out of all our close friends, I'm the only one he's never fought with. We text each other and vent to each other about stupid stuff that ticks us off,
or we talk about our drawings. Normal stuff, right?
I'd like to think we have a pretty stellar friendship.
He's talking less and less to everyone, being a straight up (insert vulgar remark here) to my fiance and my other best friend, and barely explaining
his frustrations to me.
Then, out of nowhere, he unfriends me on facebook, along with his other closest friends.
When he told me about it through text, this is what he said;
(My other best friend's name here) said that some of my posts were "concerning." So... I deleted you, (My fiance's name, and my other friend's name).
I didn't want to concern you, so I nipped the problem from the bud.
He's been known to write borderline suicidal stuff on facebook when he's in a bad mood, but he's ADMITTED that he only does it for attention when he's
feeling upset. He is doing amazingly better than he was around a year ago. I do not believe he's suicidal.
But... he didn't want to concern
I entirely understand keeping one's mouth shut so people don't worry about you... but I TOLD him to always vent to me, and in return, I'll vent to
him, and that way, we can get it out of our system, joke about it, and not blow up at anyone else due to bottling up our feelings. And we do it all
God, if I could COUNT the amount of texts we've sent venting things that we would NEVER say to anyone else!
So, we have a dramatic texting conversation, me questioning why he thought unfriending me would make me "not worry" about him.
Finally, it ends with;
Me; "Point being, you shouldn't shut me out."
Him; "Ok. But I won't ALWAYS be running to you."
God, am I wrong for just wanting to be there for a friend? Why do they have to be such.... AGGGHH.
He's the one who came to me, telling me he unfriended me, and why. He said many times "I did it for you, so I didn't concern you..."
I don't believe that for a second. After all the unthinkable things he's texted me... yeah right.
It was a plea for attention.
I'd like to think that I should be a close enough friend that I'm exempt from the baiting and attention seeking that ALL my friends seem to do.
I just GOT RID of a bunch of friends like that. I'm sick of being baited. I'm sick of being the damn dog that comes running when someone flings some
meat around. BAITED.
My friends are more important to me than anything! One of the FEW things that keeps me sane is the amazing feeling of wonder and happiness that comes
with helping my friends through their problems. THAT'S why they bait me. Because they KNOW I'll respond to it.
And I can't ignore them, because it makes me feel guilty. Plus, I can't judge them for their faults... if everyone did that to me, I'd have no one.
When does it STOP being all about EVERYONE ELSE?!
It's just like when my former best friend physically attacked me, because I STOPPED her from committing suicide. I'm the bad guy, because I give a
You know what? I don't care anymore. If they all really wanted to kill themselves, they'd've done it by now. Let em go for it. Forget it. I'm evil for
stopping them, and I'm heartless for ignoring them. Always my fault.
I'm focused on fasting, getting in better shape, gun rallies, activism, Bilderberg meetings, and educating everyone around me as I learn more. I like
to think I have SOME kind of profound purpose, and some goals. Yet, everyone around me can't seem to extend from outside of their petty thumb-sucking
"Everyone hates me, life sucks, I should just kill myself..."
crap. For the love of GOD! I want to DO something with my life! I don't have time
for fake problems!!!
He wants me to pry, to try to break down the barriers he's setting up to "test my loyalty" or something.
Not doing it anymore.
If they put up barriers, they can be ignored. I'm not gonna feed their fire.
WHY are people like this?! WHY?!
edit on 24-2-2013 by XxNightAngelusxX because: (no reason given)