Well, I don't know where to start.
I have been coming to ATS for almost a decade. I have been a member since 2007. I have a problem though. I got banned a few times. It is always my
fault. I don't want to make this introduction a sour one. I deserved every ban and learned because of it.
This profile is my attempt at a clean slate. My last one was not banned. I just decided to start fresh. I always looked to ATS as a source of
knowledge. Most people think of it as little more than a forum. I don't. I look at ATS as a community that IMO surpasses many that we can have in the
"real" world. It has camaraderie, intelligent discussion, heart felt commentaries, and what in essence is a little bit of every one of us.
It has real people on the other end of the screen. They have real emotions and put heart felt sentiment into their thoughts. I have grown to see ATS
as a home of sorts. It was at first just a place where cool and interesting things were posted by some eccentric people.
It has become much more than that for me. I have personally grown because of what I have learned at ATS. In a way it is a sort of hobby education. A
sort of school.
I always come to ATS. In fact I cant think of a time in the last 10 years that I haven't come to ATS at least once a week. Lately (for the last
couple years since I have moved away from home) I have spent every day here. It is a companion in what is really a very lonely time in my life. I
started from zero in a new place not knowing anyone. The only place where I could speak and be understood for the most part was ATS. I really do love
it. It is more than just a conspiracy site. It is something different for everyone. To me, it is a place for outcasts and people who are not able to
speak the things they have in mind without being ridiculed, or misunderstood. It is a place where heartless and base words are not welcome. A place of
learning and community. That is what i get out of it at least.
I have grown a little jaded over the years. Frustrated with the world, stressed from work and the everyday circumstances of having children at a young
age and before I was ready for it. My own personal BS. That has unfortunately showed in my spewing of what is sometimes hateful and negative comments.
I can be a real jerk sometimes. I am working on it. I want to take this opportunity to just say I am sorry. I am truly and honestly sorry. You guys
are great and you don't deserve to have to tread through my bile soaked words of ego and self loathing. Just know that I know I did you wrong and plan
to make things right. ATS is "just" an online forum, I understand that. I have my real life I love, but ATS is part of that real life. It has changed
me and made me better for it. To me, it is a virtual home away from home. I am tired of feeling like I owe it something and still treating it like
some sterile nothingness that doesnt really exist. I want to start showing the love.
I will try to keep this profile to a higher standard. A standard worthy of ATS. I cant help being human, but I can try my best to not let it show so
much. I will try to avoid words like "retarded", "dumbass", "idiot", and everything else that just starts me down a path of negative and
deconstructive criticism. I wont see trolls as assaulting something dear to me. I need to better myself and separate myself from what is just a place
I like. I will try not take everything so personally. Since I do feel I owe a debt of gratitude to ATS for its often inspirational and motivating
content, I will try.
Over the years, I have stopped focusing on ATS for conspiracy related content. I actually don't even care as much anymore about UFO´s and aliens, and
all that as much as I used to. Maybe I just have read too much of it already to see any of it as new. I still enjoy it, hence why I still click on
those mars rocks threads that become all sorts of Pareidolia induced and hilarious imagery. I still love seeing videos of big foot, or lights in the
sky, stories of secret societies, ancient civilizations, ancient and religious text commentary.....all of it. I just come here for the people behind
the stories more. I come here because of you all. You are great minds and I am often humbled by you.
I don't want to drag this out as I tend to be very verbose to a point of nausea. I will just sum it up as follows:
I love it here, because of you. I am sorry, I have been an ass. You are great, which is why I like your company.
I will try to hold myself to a higher standard, one worthy of ATS.
so that is about it. I should have made an intro before. It feels good. Anyways, thank you.
Live long and prosper and all that jazz.
edit on 23-2-2013 by tadaman because: (no reason given)