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Verbally Abused by a Ranting Mad Man - then not taken seriously by the police when incident reported

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posted on Feb, 22 2013 @ 08:25 PM
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Originally posted by Laykilla
When in reality, women can be just as abusive if not more so just as often. [Which you're guilty of, since you got pissed off that you had to move your car and started the whole thing because he was a "poor" driver.]


If I'm a child, then you're a moron.

Do you see what you did there?

Ad-hominem. You're filthy with this thread.
edit on 22-2-2013 by Laykilla because: (no reason given)

do i see what I am doing here ? No frankly - I just see myself responding to your silly abuse such as calling me a moron.

90 % of domestic abusers are men attacking women and controlling emotional abuse can also be classified as domestic violence.


The definition of domestic abuse has been widened to cover psychological intimidation and controlling behaviour

www.bbc.co.uk...

Obviously the story of my experience today, that I was relating, was not an incidence of domestic violence.

However - I think it is a valid but unproven assumption to make that a verbally threatening and abusive man probably does not save this sort of behaviour for one person as a one off.

Particularly when he is unprovoked or has a very low frustration threshold and poor impulse control - so I assume he is probably saves some of this unbalanced behaviour for his partner.

It is called domestic violence / abuse.




posted on Feb, 22 2013 @ 08:28 PM
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Originally posted by HelenConway

I think Logos because most of the posters who are calling me a liar etc and stating that I 'provoked' the confrontation are men.

They fail to realise that some men are nasty to women and can be abusive for no good reason.

I have to say though that most people [ men ] on here have been really supportive and that has meant alot.

As has your support,


Please note that not once did I ever say that you provoked the confrontation. Not a single time. I just don't think you did anything to deescalate the conflict. To the contrary, I think that you probably went toe to toe with the guy and the two of you had a good old fashioned pissing match.

Yes, there are men who can be abusive for no good reason. I don't know if the man you had a conflict with today was one such man - but there are also, by that same token, as many women who can be abusive for no good reason. So maybe there was some mutual abuse going on?

And please, please, please stop playing the 'woman as victim' card. That got old about 20 years ago, and I think you'll find that it goes over about as well as the race card in these parts.
edit on 2/22/2013 by Monger because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 22 2013 @ 08:28 PM
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reply to post by GoodNuz
 


It's a cultural thing.




posted on Feb, 22 2013 @ 08:30 PM
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reply to post by Dispo
 


I admit, British humor rocks (even if I only get about 80% of it) the first go round



posted on Feb, 22 2013 @ 08:34 PM
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Seriously!!!!



Name-calling, rudeness, and bickering have no place here.
You are responsible for your own posts.

Those who continue to post they way the last few pages are will face post removals and possible temporary Posting Bans.

We expect civility and decorum within all topics - Please Review This Link.

and Mod Note: Big Quote – Please Review This Link.



posted on Feb, 22 2013 @ 08:35 PM
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Originally posted by HelenConway

Originally posted by Laykilla
When in reality, women can be just as abusive if not more so just as often. [Which you're guilty of, since you got pissed off that you had to move your car and started the whole thing because he was a "poor" driver.]


If I'm a child, then you're a moron.

Do you see what you did there?

Ad-hominem. You're filthy with this thread.
edit on 22-2-2013 by Laykilla because: (no reason given)

do i see what I am doing here ? No frankly - I just see myself responding to your silly abuse such as calling me a moron.

90 % of domestic abusers are men attacking women and controlling emotional abuse can also be classified as domestic violence.


The definition of domestic abuse has been widened to cover psychological intimidation and controlling behaviour

www.bbc.co.uk...

Obviously the story of my experience today, that I was relating, was not an incidence of domestic violence.

However - I think it is a valid but unproven assumption to make that a verbally threatening and abusive man probably does not save this sort of behaviour for one person as a one off.

Particularly when he is unprovoked or has a very low frustration threshold and poor impulse control - so I assume he is probably saves some of this unbalanced behaviour for his partner.

It is called domestic violence / abuse.


You called me a child. I'm not a child. I'm not being "Abusive." Saying it over and over does not make it true.

I never once made an argument ad-hominem. Your comment was out of line and childish... it was basically "Nanananana You're a baby, make sure you wash behind your ears, because ya know, you're a baby."
'
I said if your argument is that I am a child, then you are a moron.

You tell me, were you calling me a child or not?

It's not even close to 90% by the way. Men get mentally and emotionally abused and then take it out on the wife.

I'd say a good 50% of all abuse cases, and nearly 80% of all abuse cases where the woman stays with the man, the woman's abuse provoked the mans. And she knows it. This is the real "secret" behind battered woman syndrome. They feel responsible, because they KNOW they are.

*This is not an absolute, but is more realistic then saying 90% of the time woman are angels and men are the abusers.* This is just sexist absurdism.

The problem with your numbers, men don't cry to the police when they get yelled at or hit by their woman.


edit on 22-2-2013 by Laykilla because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 22 2013 @ 08:35 PM
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reply to post by GoodNuz
 


It's not just the humour, we tend to understate things in general. That's why I'm saying Helen handled it well by waiting for the (alleged) abuse to end then going to the police. Calling 999 would be overkill for a bit of verbal abuse, but it's obviously something the police need to know about for the records. If there is trouble in future and the complaint is logged, it strengthens Helen's case.



posted on Feb, 22 2013 @ 08:38 PM
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Originally posted by Dispo
reply to post by GoodNuz
 


It's not just the humour, we tend to understate things in general. That's why I'm saying Helen handled it well by waiting for the (alleged) abuse to end then going to the police. Calling 999 would be overkill for a bit of verbal abuse, but it's obviously something the police need to know about for the records. If there is trouble in future and the complaint is logged, it strengthens Helen's case.


I agree with this and the police should have logged the complaint, I'm not sure that happened from what I can tell from this story and if not, then that's unfortunate.



posted on Feb, 22 2013 @ 08:43 PM
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I see a little unfairness here.....

Lot's of people share things that have happened to them and let of steam in the rant section for example......but if every thread was met with " i don't believe you because I wasn't there" ( which they aren't) then there wouldn't be much point or much to discuss.

If a member suspect's or as a feeling someone is not being truthful about a situation then why get rude?...why not just move on? Or there is the option to comment in an impartial way as I have seen at least one member do.

Regardless what anyone else say's on this thread....If a MAN who is unprovoked get's in the face of a WOMAN and scream's at her and spits in her face as he spits his words out......then yes I see that as serious. Maybe in other culture's that is deemed as just yelling and the gender isn't a consideration.....but here in England it is considered morally wrong and serious by most decent people's standard's.

If people wish to dismiss the event's happened as described fine.....but don't dismiss the actual claim of the post as just yelling and something that shouldn't be deemed serious!



posted on Feb, 22 2013 @ 08:43 PM
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Originally posted by GoodNuz
Maybe this is just me, maybe not but I would prefer the police focus on serious crimes (you know: robbery, rape, murder) we have enough of that to keep them very busy rather then babysit two grown ups who had an argument. :






Actually you make a good point - but good effective policing is also about prevention.

If someone feels threatened, they feel threatened and that should be taken seriously,
How many people have reported to the police incidents where they have been stalked, threatened etc and the police have done nothing - until something really nasty happens,

That is not good police work that is fire fighting !

BTW I did not have an argument with him he verbally attacked me,

IMO the police should take seriously and investigate fully reports where individuals feel scared or threatened. There is too much violence in this country,
edit on 22-2-2013 by HelenConway because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 22 2013 @ 08:46 PM
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Originally posted by Laykilla
.

The problem with your numbers, men don't cry to the police when they get yelled at or hit by their woman.


edit on 22-2-2013 by Laykilla because: (no reason given)


Are you seriously disputing the figures wherby 90% of domestic abuse is perpetrated by men.
Do you have any idea how much study and research has gone on into this very subject ?
Are you suggesting that reporting abuse verbal or physical to the police is '' crying to the police'' I say ...

.ummm ok then ... right



posted on Feb, 22 2013 @ 08:48 PM
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reply to post by Logos23
 


thank you - that is totally the way I feel.



posted on Feb, 22 2013 @ 08:48 PM
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Actually you make a good point - but good effective policing is also about prevention.

If someone feels threatened, they feel threatened and that should be taken seriously,
How many people have reported to the police incidents where they have been stalked, threatened etc and the police have done nothing - until something really nasty happens,

That is not good police work that is fire fighting !


You can't put sanctions on somebody because they got loud. I'm sorry, that's absurd. Whether it's disrespectful or not, to seek government enforcement and corrections because somebody hurt your feelings is a slippery slope to anybody becoming a prisoner.

It's a horrible precedent -- and since when do the British care about insults. They are some of the most insulting people out there.... their history is conquer and insult.

Oh I see, they want to be treated royally, so when it's them being insulted -- action must be taken.

I get it now.



edit on 22-2-2013 by Laykilla because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 22 2013 @ 08:49 PM
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reply to post by HelenConway
 


I may not think they should have confronted the guy based upon your report of an argument, but I do agree that you should not have been shrugged off (regardless of whether the cops believe that you are bringing them something too minor to follow up on.) The lady could have presented a better case for not taking your report and they should not pick and choose which reports to take.
edit on 22-2-2013 by GoodNuz because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 22 2013 @ 08:52 PM
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Originally posted by Laykilla


and since when do the British care about insults. They are some of the most insulting people out there.... their history is conquer and insult.

Oh I see, they want to be treated royally, so when it's them being insulted -- action must be taken.

I get it now.



edit on 22-2-2013 by Laykilla because: (no reason given)


seriously what has this got to do with anything - how old are you really - 14 ? Honestly ?

I may be British but that has nothing to do with the story really.

Only in so far as the British have a terrible policeforce that used to be the best in the world and now is more like the stasi [ they were the East German Police during the Cold War FYI Laykilla]
edit on 22-2-2013 by HelenConway because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 22 2013 @ 08:56 PM
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reply to post by Laykilla
 


When somebody tried to rob my mate's house a few years ago, he told the police the next day after having told the feckless fellow skulking around his back garden at 1am to bugger off.

The police diverted patrol cars to go past his house all night for the next week to make sure the would-be-robber didn't come back. That's quality policing, that's community support, that's real prevention.

In this case, they could try and have someone in the area around parking time (it will probably be after work) to make sure it doesn't escalate again, or that if it does they can have a fast effective response in place.



posted on Feb, 22 2013 @ 08:58 PM
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reply to post by Dispo
 


did he have friends in the force ?



posted on Feb, 22 2013 @ 08:58 PM
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Originally posted by HelenConway

Originally posted by Laykilla


and since when do the British care about insults. They are some of the most insulting people out there.... their history is conquer and insult.

Oh I see, they want to be treated royally, so when it's them being insulted -- action must be taken.

I get it now.



edit on 22-2-2013 by Laykilla because: (no reason given)


seriously what has this got to do with anything - how old are you really - 14 ? Honestly ?


This has everything to do with the post I was replying to, insinuating that police should take an insult more seriously.

Since when do we live in a day and age where someone should be held accountable to the police for calling somebody "bad" language?

Then there is this overarching theme going that the British are culturally different than us Americans implying a "sophistication" to themselves while implying "barbarism" to us.

It felt extremely relevant to point out that insults play a really big part in British history and they are some of the best insult slingers on the planet, yet -- you guys are saying it's unacceptable to insult people in the UK.



I fail to see how explaining the hypocrisy in these overtones makes me "14."

This is also the second time you are calling me a child. This time I wasn't even talking to you.

With that said, this post also now looks like bickering, alas, I'm not trying to.
edit on 22-2-2013 by Laykilla because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 22 2013 @ 09:01 PM
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Originally posted by Laykilla
[
Then there is this overarching theme going that the British are culturally different than us Americans implying a "sophistication" to themselves while implying "barbarism" to us.

It felt extremely relevant to point out that insults play a really big part in British history and they are some of the best insult slingers on the planet, yet -- you guys are saying it's unacceptable to insult people in the UK.

.


How old are you seriously - I am in my 40s.
I think americans come in all shapes and sizes and some are more like the British then the British are, and I can think of a few I could pair you up with - it would be like you were coming home.

edit on 22-2-2013 by HelenConway because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 22 2013 @ 09:01 PM
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reply to post by HelenConway
 


Was your sister a witness, I think you said she agreed that is the way it happened. If so, you have more than his word against yours.



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