Verbally Abused by a Ranting Mad Man - then not taken seriously by the police when incident reported

Originally posted by scotsdavy1

Originally posted by HelenConway
reply to post by skalla

 

thanks skalla - I am actually scared of him now - to be honest, it makes me worried to walk my sisters dogs, which would mean I would have to walk past his house, it makes me worried to visit my sister, who i normally see daily,

Don't be scared of him, he's just a bully like many on here. You were the better person for not reacting to him

thank you for your support Davy, but to be honest I am scared.
The accusation by the policewoman that I was as bad [ maybe] did not help. It did not give me confidence in the system of that they took my complaint seriously.
They could not care less,

reply to post by Laykilla


in britain it's terribly poor form for a chap to talk to a lady in that manner, and a direct verbal threat does not have to be expressed for behaviour to be threatening.
freedom of speech is one thing, manners and civil behaviour are entirely different, as are our countries... not to mention standards of behaviour judging by your post.

reply to post by Laykilla


Yes it is, under section 5 of the public order act, you can be arrested for causing offence with immediate effect (i.e. no warning) and the definition of causing offence ranges from swearing in front of someone who may be offended, to singing kung fu fighting on a karaoke.

Originally posted by HelenConway

Originally posted by Laykilla
This is America. We have freedom of speech, this gives me the right to express how I feel about you to your face as long as it doesn't cross the line into actual harassment. [Which is connotated by repeat or excessive offenses.]



I do the adult thing, I walk away. If I see this person frequently, when they are calmed down, I will go talk to them about it. If they are a stranger, I could care less.

edit on 22-2-2013 by Laykilla because: (no reason given)

Actually NO this is Britain.

I am glad you COULD care less - that makes me feel so warm inside,

It would be awful if you couldn;t care less.

edit on 22-2-2013 by HelenConway because: (no reason given)

Yeah, I COULD CARE LESS. Implying I care, because I'm not an idiot that wants to get beat up when I'm not looking.

My point was, I check it and keep going, but I still take it seriously. Strangers are known to follow you or come back. Strangers are dangerous.

Way to be, trying to make me look stupid surely puts egg on your face.


I want the OP to take a picture of this "Parking Space" because I'd almost for certain say it's an illegal spot she uses from time to time when parking is full.

She said "She's been using it on and off for 20 or so years" and that he said "Cars shouldn't park there" and that she thinks it's okay because "Parking is a precious commodity" because there are often no spaces.

You're a liar ma'am. Not only are you a liar, but you want sympathy when I guarantee you were at fault. I know this, because you're a liar -- evidenced by you claiming that he threatened you after the fact. [A piece of information you left out of your story.]

I'm am defending the man, because I know what it's like to deal with attention seeking liars that inconvenience other people and then beg for sympathy like they didn't do anything wrong.

Grow a back bone and park legally in the future. If this means you have to walk a couple blocks, tough. That's the city life.

If you're scared of him, get a restraining order. Surely nanny England has an equivalent over there. Other than that, tell the truth next time -- you'll sound less snobby and princesslike.

reply to post by HelenConway


I'm in the USA, not Brittain, but I can only conclude that nut-cases live everywhere! What I try to remember when someone is going off like that, is that by staying in control, you only make them look worse and yourself look better. But it is frightening. I also think some men believe they can intimidate women with the "in your face" anger.....please.

But always think of your safety first, and rightly or wrongly, leave the situation if you think they may get physical.

I hope this resolves itself with no further involvement with you. Good Luck!!

reply to post by Laykilla


Well how would you have dealt with it ? Seeing as you are such as expert ?

reply to post by Laykilla


The point Helen was making was that the phrases "I could care less" and "I couldn't care less" are used to mean the same thing in America and Britain respectively. We could sit here and argue about which is correct all day, but I'm not 15 any more so I have better things to do.

P.S. It's obviously "couldn't" as "could" implies that you care on some level, whereas "couldn't" implies that you don't care at all.

Originally posted by HelenConway

Originally posted by scotsdavy1

Originally posted by HelenConway
reply to post by skalla

 

thanks skalla - I am actually scared of him now - to be honest, it makes me worried to walk my sisters dogs, which would mean I would have to walk past his house, it makes me worried to visit my sister, who i normally see daily,

Don't be scared of him, he's just a bully like many on here. You were the better person for not reacting to him

thank you for your support Davy, but to be honest I am scared.
The accusation by the policewoman that I was as bad [ maybe] did not help. It did not give me confidence in the system of that they took my complaint seriously.
They could not care less,

No problem at all, as proven by by post, you can be arrested for disturbing the piece, and spitting is called common assault under British law. American law might be different though and that's where the confusion can arise from.
If you can, try to record him if he approaches you in the future by using your mobile phone to record or anything else you might have and hide it so he doesn't know.
Won't stand up in court but at least you can play it back to the police if he says he didn't shout at you.
Keep your chin and smile, have a goodnight and be safe....

Originally posted by Lynzer
reply to post by HelenConway

 

I'm in the USA, not Brittain, but I can only conclude that nut-cases live everywhere! What I try to remember when someone is going off like that, is that by staying in control, you only make them look worse and yourself look better. But it is frightening. I also think some men believe they can intimidate women with the "in your face" anger.....please.

But always think of your safety first, and rightly or wrongly, leave the situation if you think they may get physical.

I hope this resolves itself with no further involvement with you. Good Luck!!

Thank you. I know - I could not move though, my pride and self esteem would not allow it.

I would have ducked though if he had tried to whack me,

I think you are right - I felt it was a violent man who wanted to be controlling and was wanted to ' cow' me into submission - if I had started crying, or looked scared he would have walked away.

Job done.

BUT he would have done it again and again,

My estimation is he is a drinker - jaundice eyes and fatty lipomas in the sclera of his eyes. Also his unbalanced demeanour. He is probably a domestic abuser too. I cannot be the only person he has 'exploded'' at in recent times.

Originally posted by Laykilla
You're a liar ma'am. Not only are you a liar, but you want sympathy when I guarantee you were at fault. I know this, because you're a liar -- evidenced by you claiming that he threatened you after the fact. [A piece of information you left out of your story.]

I'm am defending the man, because I know what it's like to deal with attention seeking liars that inconvenience other people and then beg for sympathy like they didn't do anything wrong.

Grow a back bone and park legally in the future. If this means you have to walk a couple blocks, tough. That's the city life.

edit on 22-2-2013 by Laykilla because: (no reason given)

edit on 22-2-2013 by Laykilla because: (no reason given)

I am not a liar but you are being abusive as evidenced here,
I was parked legally as explained.
Please take your anger and aggression to another thread.

Is it illegal to yell at somebody? Seriously? Sorry, but your OP screams to me that you're either leaving some key part of the incident out or posting this simply for attention. Did you expect the man to be arrested for making you feel scared? Christ, woman, you're a grown adult. If you can't handle somebody getting up in your face about something, then don't put yourself in that situation.

He didn't threaten you, he didn't lay hands on you. What on earth did you expect the police to do for you? By the way, feeling threatened by somebody's demeanor does not in any constitute an actual threat.

Where I'm from if you had called emergence services over somebody making you feel uncomfortable, you'd be the one being hauled to the station.

I'll bet dollars to donuts that you and he were in some kind of mutual verbal spat, and you thought to yourself, well I'll show him, I'll ring the cops and have him taken away in cuffs. That'll show 'em. And when that very predictably didn't turn out the way you hoped it would, you turned to ATS to try and stir up some good old fashioned moral outrage.

Originally posted by Dispo
reply to post by Laykilla

 

The point Helen was making was that the phrases "I could care less" and "I couldn't care less" are used to mean the same thing in America and Britain respectively. We could sit here and argue about which is correct all day, but I'm not 15 any more so I have better things to do.

P.S. It's obviously "couldn't" as "could" implies that you care on some level, whereas "couldn't" implies that you don't care at all.

edit on 22-2-2013 by Dispo because: (no reason given)

Leave your preconceived notion out of it. I said what I meant. I could care less, meaning I care...

That's exactly what I meant. I don't care what you THINK I meant.

So it's obviously COULD in the context I used it in. I even explained why I care.

I said if it's someone I know, I'll talk to them later about it, if it's a STRANGER, I could care less....

Meaning I don't care a WHOLE LOT to let it ruin my day, but I do care some, because it's an irate stranger that is evidently mad at me -- only a stupid person wouldn't care at all, not knowing the capability or mental capacity of the stranger in question.

The statement implies a mild concern, nothing more, nothing less.

Originally posted by Monger
Is it illegal to yell at somebody? Seriously? Sorry, but your OP screams to me that you're either leaving some key part of the incident out or posting this simply for attention. Did you expect the man to be arrested for making you feel scared? Christ, woman, you're a grown adult. If you can't handle somebody getting up in your face about something, then don't put yourself in that situation.

He didn't threaten you, he didn't lay hands on you. What on earth did you expect the police to do for you? By the way, feeling threatened by somebody's demeanor does not in any constitute an actual threat.

Where I'm from if you had called emergence services over somebody making you feel uncomfortable, you'd be the one being hauled to the station.

I'll bet dollars to donuts that you and he were in some kind of mutual verbal spat, and you thought to yourself, well I'll show him, I'll ring the cops and have him taken away in cuffs. That'll show 'em. And when that very predictably didn't turn out the way you hoped it would, you turned to ATS to try and stir up some good old fashioned moral outrage.

If a guy had done that to me I would have knocked him out, believe you me.
Would you like it if someone yelled and shouted right into your face you got spittle over you?
What is this, lets all gang up on the OP for a laugh week?

reply to post by Laykilla


I think my humour is flying over your head.

Originally posted by HelenConway
reply to post by Dispo

 

There are NOT two sides to this story,

You're exactly right. Here, in this thread, there's only one side. Your side. The side where you drove to the police station and made a fool of yourself for trying to have a man arrested for yelling at you.

I think you'll notice that the fellow you had your little disagreement with today is not here to defend himself against your slander.

A few people in this thread have jumped to Helen's defence without batting an eyelid.

A few people in this thread have jumped to the man's defence without batting an eyelid.

Both of these groups of people are literally awful.

Originally posted by Monger
Is it illegal to yell at somebody? Seriously? Sorry, but your OP screams to me that you're either leaving some key part of the incident out or posting this simply for attention. Did you expect the man to be arrested for making you feel scared? Christ, woman, you're a grown adult. If you can't handle somebody getting up in your face about something, then don't put yourself in that situation.

He didn't threaten you, he didn't lay hands on you. What on earth did you expect the police to do for you? By the way, feeling threatened by somebody's demeanor does not in any constitute an actual threat.

Where I'm from if you had called emergence services over somebody making you feel uncomfortable, you'd be the one being hauled to the station.

I'll bet dollars to donuts that you and he were in some kind of mutual verbal spat, and you thought to yourself, well I'll show him, I'll ring the cops and have him taken away in cuffs. That'll show 'em. And when that very predictably didn't turn out the way you hoped it would, you turned to ATS to try and stir up some good old fashioned moral outrage.

No I did not. I did not want him arrested. I take your point that yelling is not illegal,

However - it was more then plain yelling I actually felt scared and threatened. That is acceptable to you is it ?

I was not in a verbal spat with him, I had never spoken to him before.

I was quite clear and candid with the information I have posted.

I am not looking for moral outrage just perspectives and shared experiences from other posters.

However - if your intention is just to come on here , judge and assume - then clearly you are just making the story up as you go along to suit your particular moral inclination.

Luckily most people on ATS are not like that.

At least you did not say

' photo or it never happened'

reply to post by scotsdavy1


No, it's not 'let's all gang up on the OP for a laugh' week. Is that even a thing? I'm not part of any sort of 'ganging up'. I checked the 'recently posted threads' list here on ATS, and found this gem. Are you suggesting that there's some kind of organized effort to make the OP look foolish? I'm not sure what you're trying to get at.

Originally posted by HelenConway

Originally posted by Laykilla
You're a liar ma'am. Not only are you a liar, but you want sympathy when I guarantee you were at fault. I know this, because you're a liar -- evidenced by you claiming that he threatened you after the fact. [A piece of information you left out of your story.]

I'm am defending the man, because I know what it's like to deal with attention seeking liars that inconvenience other people and then beg for sympathy like they didn't do anything wrong.

Grow a back bone and park legally in the future. If this means you have to walk a couple blocks, tough. That's the city life.

edit on 22-2-2013 by Laykilla because: (no reason given)

edit on 22-2-2013 by Laykilla because: (no reason given)

I am not a liar but you are being abusive as evidenced here,
I was parked legally as explained.
Please take your anger and aggression to another thread.

See, you think this is abusive?

We're supposed to take your "Word" for it, because your testimony is truth? Are you a person like any other? Sure you are, which means it's in your capacity to lie. You've added to your story and embellished parts after you told it, so your trust is thin.

You have no proof, and I don't believe you. That doesn't make me abusive. That is NOT the definition of abuse.

This goes only to further my point, because now you're accusing me of doing what you said he did, and I'm clearly not.

I'm telling you I don't believe you, and you're saying if I tell you that then I'm abusive.

Clearly everyone who doesn't agree with you is a bad guy and abusive. This is how I know you were parked illegal. He disagreed with your parking choice, just like I disagree that your telling the truth, and we are both being labeled abusive.

I could only imagine the type of self centered "I'm better than you" face you made at him that set him on his tantrum.

Take a picture of the space.

Originally posted by scotsdavy1

Originally posted by Monger
]

If a guy had done that to me I would have knocked him out, believe you me.
Would you like it if someone yelled and shouted right into your face you got spittle over you?
What is this, lets all gang up on the OP for a laugh week?

Ahh that is it - I don't think he would have been that way at all with another man.
I think the fact that I am a woman enraged him.
But Davy thanks again