Hypothetical Question(s):

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posted on Feb, 20 2013 @ 12:47 PM
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You've been married a couple years. You've had a relatively stable relationship but then suddenly your partner stops having sex with you.

1) Is it okay to cheat?
2) How long before its okay?
3) Cheating is not an option, how do you go about resolving the issue?

DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP LOOKING FOR THE "ITS OKAY TO CHEAT ANSWER"

Basically some guy on jeremy kyle set up an online dating profile because his wife stopped having sex with him. Wanted to know how other people would go about resolving the issue, im not trying to advocate cheating is okay.
edit on 20-2-2013 by SearchLightsInc because: (no reason given)




posted on Feb, 20 2013 @ 12:55 PM
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reply to post by SearchLightsInc
 



1. It's never okay to cheat.

2. It's never okay to cheat.

3. Open communication is needed to find out what the problem is.



posted on Feb, 20 2013 @ 01:02 PM
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Cheating is not fun.

Learn to communicate with your partner. Talk about your feelings and thoughts.

Lack of communication I'm assuming is what got you both is this situation, or not. Thus, cuts off the intimacy and so forth.

If you are thinking about cheating, just divorce. Unchain yourself from the karma and your mate from suffering.

Something is missing within you, or the relationship and another person(cheating) will not fill the void permanently. Good Luck.



posted on Feb, 20 2013 @ 01:06 PM
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reply to post by SearchLightsInc
 


Talk about it to clear the issue.

lol if there is an "option" to cheat in this question, this marriage has already failed. Divorce and cheat all they like.



posted on Feb, 20 2013 @ 01:20 PM
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Originally posted by kaylaluv
reply to post by SearchLightsInc
 



1. It's never okay to cheat.

2. It's never okay to cheat.

3. Open communication is needed to find out what the problem is.





Never said it was okay to cheat, its just a hypothetical question im not gonna be using anyone's answers for anything, i just wondered.

Some guy on jeremy kyle (Lul wtf you watching that for?) Set up an online dating profile "Because my wife stopped having sex with me"

Wondered how other people would approach the problem.



posted on Feb, 20 2013 @ 01:23 PM
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Typically, if a woman is the partner who stops wanting to have sex, it is because she is angry about something. She has probably been dropping hints like crazy. Women tend to withhold sex because they are seething with resentment. Men tend to not want to think about why this would be. It's a vicious cycle, borne out of lack of communication, lack of honesty, and lack of caring about what is going on with the other person internally. Men usually stop wanting to have sex because they're getting strange on the side.

If you are clueless as to why your partner has stopped being intimate, and all you can think about is, how long before you are justified in cheating, then your relationship is worthless. You are also being selfish as hell.

Go ahead and divorce, and find a new partner....but if you don't wake up to what caused the past relationship to fail, you're doomed to repeat the same mistakes, ad nauseum.



posted on Feb, 20 2013 @ 01:24 PM
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reply to post by SearchLightsInc
 





You've been married a couple years. You've had a relatively stable relationship but then suddenly your partner stops having sex with you.


People stop having sex ?


This happened in my first marriage

Was it OK to cheat, absolutely my affair was Mrs C and we are soul mates
How long did I wait ? Hard to say I think it was about 3 years.
I tried everything, romance, talking, arguing, advice from a social worker you name it I tried it.
Turned out she just wanted a european father for her kids and then did everything to get shot of me.
So yeah it's ok to cheat in some circumstances.

Cody
edit on 20-2-2013 by cody599 because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 20 2013 @ 01:25 PM
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Originally posted by kaylaluv
reply to post by SearchLightsInc
 



1. It's never okay to cheat.

2. It's never okay to cheat.

3. Open communication is needed to find out what the problem is.





Quoted because it is a perfect answer to all 3 questions. Cheating is wrong. Period. Unless you have a mutual agreement on an open relationship, which in turn makes it not cheating, its never ok. If you need to go outside of your relationship, you shouldnt be in one.


Openly talk to your partner.



posted on Feb, 20 2013 @ 01:27 PM
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reply to post by FissionSurplus
 


It was a hypothetical question but thank you for answering



posted on Feb, 20 2013 @ 01:29 PM
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Originally posted by cody599
reply to post by SearchLightsInc
 





You've been married a couple years. You've had a relatively stable relationship but then suddenly your partner stops having sex with you.


People stop having sex ?


This happened in my first marriage

Was it OK to cheat, absolutely my affair is Mrs C and we are soul mates
How long did I wait ? Hard to say I think it was about 3 years.
I tried everything, romance, talking, arguing, advice from a social worker you name it I tried it.
Turned out she just wanted a european father for her kids and then did everything to get shot of me.
So yeah it's ok to cheat in some circumstances.

Cody


I like your honesty


thanks for commenting



posted on Feb, 20 2013 @ 01:31 PM
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reply to post by SearchLightsInc
 


It was the best decision I ever made.
Thanks for the thread




posted on Feb, 20 2013 @ 01:39 PM
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Originally posted by cody599
reply to post by SearchLightsInc
 


It was the best decision I ever made.
Thanks for the thread



IMHO, the best decision would have been to end the marriage first, then you can have an honest relationship with someone else. Cheating is dishonest and cowardly, but that's just me.



posted on Feb, 20 2013 @ 02:02 PM
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Originally posted by kaylaluv

Originally posted by cody599
reply to post by SearchLightsInc
 


It was the best decision I ever made.
Thanks for the thread



IMHO, the best decision would have been to end the marriage first, then you can have an honest relationship with someone else. Cheating is dishonest and cowardly, but that's just me.


In his/her defence, humans dont always make the best decisions 100% of the time. I think you're being a tad harsh.



posted on Feb, 20 2013 @ 02:26 PM
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Originally posted by SearchLightsInc

Originally posted by kaylaluv

Originally posted by cody599
reply to post by SearchLightsInc
 


It was the best decision I ever made.
Thanks for the thread



IMHO, the best decision would have been to end the marriage first, then you can have an honest relationship with someone else. Cheating is dishonest and cowardly, but that's just me.


In his/her defence, humans dont always make the best decisions 100% of the time.


Absolutely true. But, they should admit that they didn't make the best decision.



posted on Feb, 20 2013 @ 02:27 PM
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Originally posted by kaylaluv

Originally posted by cody599
reply to post by SearchLightsInc
 


It was the best decision I ever made.
Thanks for the thread



IMHO, the best decision would have been to end the marriage first, then you can have an honest relationship with someone else. Cheating is dishonest and cowardly, but that's just me.


With all due respect
The marriage was dead a long time before I met Mrs C, spiritually it was the right thing to do, I never cheated my soul, the rest was legal state red tape rubbish. I was honest and told the ex. She just chose to not believe. Dishonest ? No I was totally honest and up front
Cowardly ? Nah the brave decision was to be unfaithful and accept the consequences.
Still accepting them every day and loving it.


But that's just my experience

Thanks for the answer



posted on Feb, 20 2013 @ 02:35 PM
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Originally posted by cody599

Originally posted by kaylaluv

Originally posted by cody599
reply to post by SearchLightsInc
 


It was the best decision I ever made.
Thanks for the thread



IMHO, the best decision would have been to end the marriage first, then you can have an honest relationship with someone else. Cheating is dishonest and cowardly, but that's just me.


With all due respect
The marriage was dead a long time before I met Mrs C, spiritually it was the right thing to do, I never cheated my soul, the rest was legal state red tape rubbish. I was honest and told the ex. She just chose to not believe. Dishonest ? No I was totally honest and up front
Cowardly ? Nah the brave decision was to be unfaithful and accept the consequences.
Still accepting them every day and loving it.


But that's just my experience

Thanks for the answer


Well, it's a little different if you were upfront in the beginning -- that's not really cheating. Cheating is doing something on the sly, behind the other person's back. If the marriage was over, and both of you knew it, then I'm assuming you were officially separated. That's a whole different ball of wax.



posted on Feb, 20 2013 @ 08:17 PM
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My boyfriend and I have been together committed 2.5yrs. Living together 1.5yrs...
He recently started withholding sex and generally ignoring my initiating attempts, I talked toys, I talked role play I tried a bit of everything... I tried spontaneity, I tried scheduling it into our lives.

There is nothing more frustrating or hurtful than trying to work through this sort of thing.

But I talked it out with him every step of the way, at no time did I even remotely contemplate cheating!



posted on Feb, 20 2013 @ 10:05 PM
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reply to post by SearchLightsInc
 


No its not okay to cheat. Chances are if your wife just stops putting out there is a little more to it. But if your wife is cool with it then its fine and its not really cheating.



posted on Feb, 21 2013 @ 03:27 AM
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He's playing a game; specifically the sympathy card...I'm a great guy; wah wah
any body wanna help me cheat on my wife; and be my mistress? I'll pretend I want to leave her; but I have her self esteem so low, she's not going any where or can't stand up for herself if I do cheat.

It's a scheming scam; from someone slick enough in communication to con strangers; but not good enough in communication for a real lasting relationship. The poor me; is such a horrible stance to take...I'll come off as a great guy; get someone wrapped then string them along or turn them into the same emotional mess I have made my current wife then do the same thing to the new person...because you are naturally sympathetic for having responded to my post in the first place.

Step as far and as fast as you can from those types.



posted on Feb, 21 2013 @ 12:08 PM
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Originally posted by SearchLightsInc
1) Is it okay to cheat?
2) How long before its okay?
3) Cheating is not an option, how do you go about resolving the issue?
edit on 20-2-2013 by SearchLightsInc because: (no reason given)


1. It is never OK
2. See #1
3. Decide how important the issue is. Note: It will never get better, so you need to live with it or move on.





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