The Ten Commandments of America

I initially wrote this about seven years ago as a joke, but its proven true time and time over. So, I thought I'd share it. I parodied this from the Old King James version of the original Ten Commandments.

And the Gold spake none of these words, so the Government spake for it, saying,

We are the Government of the Gold thy God,
which have brought thee into the land of America,
out of their house of bondage, into our own.
Thou shalt worship no God before the Gold.
Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth: thou shalt worhip our graven images;
thou shalt bow down thyself to them, and serve them, for the Gold is a jealous God, and visits the poverty of thy fathers upon thy children unto the third and fourth generation of they who follow us not;
and showing mercy unto thousands of them that possess Gold, and keep our commandments.
Thou shalt not take the name of the Government of thy Gold in vain: for the Government will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.
Remember the working day, to keep the Gold holy.
Seven days thou shalt labor, and do all of our work.
Sevens days are the working days of the Gold thy God: in them thou shalt do any work commanded of thou, thy son, thy daughter, thy manservant, thy maidservant, thy cattle, and thy stranger that is within our borders:
For the Gold bought heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them is, and rested on no day: and neither shall the working man know rest.
Honor thy Government and its Policies, that thy days may be long upon the land which the Gold thy God giveth thee.
Thou shalt not kill without Government sanction.
Thou shalt not commit adultery without a condom.
Thou shalt not steal unless thy theft be from thy worker, which shall be known as Tax.
Thou shalt bear false witness against thy neighbor, lest the blame fall on you.
Thou shalt covet thy neighbor's house, thou shalt covet thy neighbor's wife, and his manservant, and his maidservant, and his ox, and his ass, and any thing that is thy neighbor's.

The 10 Commandants of the US........

1) Profit before People.

2 to 10.. repeat number 1, 9 more Times.

You didn't know the Bible was first written by a Japanese man?
That's why it was God instead of Gold - he couldn't pronounce the "L"s!

Greetings, Malfeitor,

Originally posted by Malfeitor

Thou shalt bear false witness against thy neighbor, lest the blame fall on you.

hussein soetoro's neighbor against neighbor programs come to mind, including the former website for reporting neighbors who publish anti-obama material.

There are at least 2 more version of the Ten Commandments, ahem, correction, ten commandments (lower case), if I may properly cite them here.....

There's the ten commandments according to obama from 2009, with references to substantiate each.

I. Thou shalt have no God in America, except for me. For we are no longer a Christian nation and, after all, I am the chosen One. (And like God, I do not have a birth certificate.) SOURCE

II. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, unless it is my face carved on Mt. Rushmore. SOURCE

III. Thou shalt not utter my middle name in vain (or in public). Only I can say Barack Hussein Obama. SOURCE

IV. Remember tax day, April 15th, to keep it holy. SOURCE

V. Honour thy father and thy mother until they are too old and sick to care for. They will cost our public-funded health-care system too much money. SOURCE

VI. Thou shalt not kill, unless you have an unwanted, unborn baby. For it would be an abomination to punish your daughter with a baby. SOURCE

VII. Thou shalt not commit adultery if you are conservative or a Republican. Liberals and Democrats are hereby forgiven for all of their infidelity and immorality, but the careers of conservatives will be forever destroyed. SOURCE

VIII. Thou shalt not steal, until you've been elected to public office. Only then is it acceptable to take money from hard-working, successful citizens and give it to those who do not work, illegal immigrants, or those who do not have the motivation to better their own lives. SOURCE

IX. Thou shalt not discriminate against thy neighbor unless they are conservative, Caucasian, or Christian. SOURCE

X. Thou shalt not covet because it is simply unnecessary. I will place such a heavy tax burden on those that have achieved the American Dream that, by the end of my term as President, nobody will have any wealth or material goods left for you to covet. SOURCE

The bibliography or source links of each can be viewed from this link.

and there is this version of the ten commandments posted by Lib Smasher

THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF OBAMA

I. I am thine president, Obama. Thou shall have no other politician before me.

II. For I am a jealous Obama, thou shall make no other idols than of me, Obama. And don’t go crazy emphasizing the ears.

III. Thou shalt not use the name of Obama in vain or confuse it with Osama.

IV. Remember the inauguration day and keep it holy, for it is the day of your deliverance.

V. Honor your Democratic Senators and Representative, for they do the bidding of Obama.

VI. Thou shalt not own a gun nor cling to it.

VII. Thou shalt not get all moralistic about sex stuff.

VIII. Thou shalt not find tax loopholes for that is stealing against Obama.

IX. Thou shalt not bear false witness or any other kind of witness against Obama in court.

X. Thou shalt not covet thy own money, for it is the property of Obama.

While these are surely obeyed by the far left, hussein's followers are probably infuriated that such version of the ten commandments are revealed.

reply to post by Adonsa


Nice; I had not seen the Obama versions before.