This was originally going to be a reply on another thread, but as this response took shape, it became apparent that these amazing Revelations ( pun
intended ) deserve a thread of their own. As with all things Satanic, this kind of evidence does tend to fall into the Gray Area ( Yes, Satan prefers
ambiguity over clearly defined facts ), so I'm going to ask the Mods to please let this thread remain in The Gray Area.
As stated in the title, Satan has indeed taken over, and I have the proof right here. Well, OK, as much "proof" as anyone has about the workings of
his Infernal Majesty, but I feel that my "proof" is just as valid as any other religious assumption. Many threads are posted on ATS that are based on
the presumption that a particular religious view or political belief is inherently valid, and I feel that my personal experience desrves equal
consideration. OK, here's my case, and I'm sticking to it!
If you've been reading the pro-gun threads, it's clear that Satan is against the Second Amendment. Satan is a Socialist-Fascist-Commie Traitor, and
he's going to go house to house to take ALL of the guns away VERY SOON to prepare us for a U.N. One World Totalitarian Government scenario.
If you've been reading the Gun Control threads, you see the evidence that Satan is manufacturing more assault weapons and high capacity clips as we
speak, and if you want Satan's guns, you're going to have to pry them from his HOT dead hands. Why does Satan need a gun that can shoot that many
He's also backing a Liberal Gay Rights Agenda by hosting free screenings of Gay Porn in Hell on Wednesday nights in hopes that he can destroy God's
work by erasing the Traditional Family from the face of the Earth while simultaneously working to recruit more members for the Westboro Baptist
Church. And yes, Satan wants a separate "straight" prom as well, just so you know. (He wants both kinds of music played at the "straight" prom, which
is Country AND Western, but I don't really know what that's all about.)
Satan is enthusiastically backing Jihadists and trying to get more countries to implement Sharia law, and subsequently he's doing everything he can to
support Israel by tampering with U.N votes, sending more efficient tactical nukes to the Israel's Security Forces, and convincing people everywhere
that bagels are delicious
By the way, he just lets Ahmadinejad say whatever he wants to, there's not much Nefarious Interference required in that department.
Satan has also become a corporate-shill farmer, who's aggressively turning out crop after crop of GMO foods for you and your children to consume so
that he can alter your DNA and kill you off more quicly while polluting the water supply. ( All of this GMO Super-Food Stuff will of course be
processed in factories that spew out as much toxic filth as possible, per Satanic Production Guidelines. If ever that was a case for industry
de-regulation.... ) Strangely enough, Satan has also inspired Legions ( pun intended ) of dope smoking New Age Hippie-types who who demand clean food,
water, air, consumer protections, and fair access to education and health care.
I also want you to know that Satan tried VERY HARD to keep Twinkies on the shelves, and he's not quite sure what happened on that one, but he has a
task force specifically charged with getting the Twinkies back online, so be patient. He was equally for and against Unions until this happened, and
now he doesn't know what
to think about them.
Satan has recently taken a course to become a real estate agent, because any idiot or Demi-God can see that the market is picking back up. He's
putting a lot of Faith ( pun intended ) back into the market, and he hopes to help the Wall Street Crowd get back into the game ASAP, and get the cash
flowing ( to the "right people" ) again.
He's working hard on getting some real legislative reform implented in the economic sector through de-regulation, because after all, we don't need
any "outsiders" trying to regulate an industry that "outsider" don't understand to begin with. And of course The Dark One is trying to reboot the
Occupy Movement and get them motivated and organized so that they can fight their battle against corporate greed and governmental apathy more
effectively. I mean really, what's more Evil than a bunch of Losers criticizing a bunch of Winners anyway, right?
You may be asking yourself, "Did Satan suddenly lose interest in subconsciously programming the Youth of America through modern music?". The answer
simply is, no, of course not. Justin Bieber and Psy both have vibrant careers, and their contracts with Lucifer Records are still obviously good.
Satan is video taping UFOs every week and posting them on YouTube, he's leaking government documents related to the subject and sending them to
Ufologists everywhere, and then through a variety of fake accounts, he's posting threads with this evidence on ATS. Through a variety of other
fake accounts, he's also debunking and dismissing this evidence with the weakest of aruments, because really, who believes this UFO crap anyway? If
aliens were here, we'd know it by now, because the U.S. Government can't keep a secret, we all know that.
OK, OK, I know there are skeptics out there, just waiting to rip apart my thread and debunk my EVIDENCE.
Surely you're all wondering how I came upon this proof. Well, I'll tell you.
I went into the desert to find a secret NWO/FEMA Base/Camp that my cousin's friend's girlfriend told my uncle's co-worker about, and I found the base
hidden behind what is obviously a holographic rock wall that has been designed to look and feel like the real thing. Anyway, while standing next to
this rock wall/fence, I overheard THREE strange looking Men dressed all In Black discussing how they had successfully orchestrated the 9/11 attacks
and fooled everyone. ( They were also saying something about the Pope, but I didn't catch all of that ). Anyway, when I heard about 9/11 and The Pope,
I let out a gasp, and they heard me. I immediately took off running through the desert ( in the dark mind you, the moon was not out that night ), and
I tripped over a rock and hit my head, but when I hit the ground and rolled over, my mouth landed on a Peyote Cactus, and I was knocked out for a few
minutes...or hours, I'm not really sure how long it was. Anyway, I had a strange dream/vision in which appeared the Ghost of a Sasquatch who told me
all about what Satan is up to, and the Sasquatch Ghost laid out all of the details that I have related to you here today. I know this all sounds
incredible, but trust me, I had to pull SEVEN Peyote Cactus needles out of my tongue. That REALLY hurt a lot!
( By the way, I must tell you, I also saw the Curiosity Rover "pretending" to do its mission at the secret NWO/FEMA base/camp, that whole thing really
IS a hoax! ).
I don't have any pics ( I know, I know, "Pics or it didn't happen" ) because my camera batteries were mysteriously drained as I approached the
camp/base. Sorry about that, but believe me, it's ALL TRUE.
Anyway, yeah, Satan HAS taken over, so look out.
edit on 18-2-2013 by moonzoo7 because: (no reason given)
edit on 18-2-2013 by moonzoo7 because: typos
18-2-2013 by moonzoo7 because: (no reason given)