posted on Feb, 19 2013 @ 10:39 PM
I'm going to play this test as stupid as I can.
1895 - Final Exam 8th GRADE
1. Give nine rules for the use of Capital Letters.
1)lolspeak 2)alphabet soup agencies 3)Computer Keyboard 4)Highway signs 5)Kindergarten class 6)Proper nouns. 7)Writing to the President 8)License
2 . Name the Parts of Speech and define those that have no Modifications.
Tongue lips and teeth. The second part is a trick question because there are tongue studs, lip implants, and braces.
3. Define Verse, Stanza and Paragraph.
These are cars made by Nissan and Honda.
5. Define Case, Illustrate each Case.
One is a suitcase, that holds clothes. The other is a briefcase, that holds office papers.
2. A wagon box is 2 ft deep, 10 feet long, and 3 ft. wide. How many bushels of wheat will it hold?
Silly, we don't drive wagons anymore.
3. If a load of wheat weighs 3942 lbs., what is it worth at 50cts/bushel, deducting 1050lbs. for tare?
This is another questionable question because there is no measurement for the term "load".
4. District No. 33 has a valuation of $35,000. What is the necessary levy to carry on a school seven months at $50 per month, and have $104 for
Hundred bucks and forty cents? What is a district and a levy? What kind of school lasts only 7 months? Bogus question.
6. Find the interest of $512.60 for 8 months and 18 days at 7 percent.
This depends on your bank. Are weekends and holidays included? Are there any penalties for early withdrawal? Are there any fees to be taken out at
the end? Like, math fees?
7. What is the cost of 40 boards 12 inches wide and 16 ft. long at $20 per meter?
This is hard to believe it's from the past because there is the inches measurement, the American standard, and then the "meter" standard. The true
question is going to ask for "yard", so it's a questionable question.
9. What is the cost of a square farm at $15 per acre, the distance
around which is 640 rods?
What are these animals called squares?
1. Give the epochs into which U.S. History is divided.
Pre 9/11 and post 9/11
2. Give an account of the discovery of America by Columbus.
Man comes in on three boats, from Spain, lands in Ohio, takes over the place.
5. Tell what you can of the history of Kansas.
Land of Dorothy. See Wikipedia page on it.
7. Who were the following: Morse, Whitney, Fulton , Bell, Lincoln, Penn, and Howe?
Famous dead guys.
1. What is meant by the following: Alphabet, phonetic, orthography, etymology, syllabication?
English language code symbols, App on my smart phone, The surgery my grandma had on her hip, bug science, that vacation you take after writing a
2. What are elementary sounds? How classified?
There is the one that says class is starting, the fire drill, and the earthquake drill.
3. What are the following, and give examples of each: Trigraph, sub vocals, diphthong, cognate letters, linguals?
Chewing gum ingredient, speakers in those Honda cars, something a porn star wears, ?, upside-down backwards e's
6. Give two uses of silent letters in spelling. Illustrate each.
LOL and OMG.
7. Define the following prefixes and use in connection with a word: bi, dis, mis, pre, semi, post, non, inter, mono, sup
They can all be added onto the word sex.
9. Use the following correctly in sentences: cite, site, sight, fane, fain, feign, vane, vain, vein, raze, raise, rays.
I have never heard of the words fane or fain before.
My brain crapped out on the open-ended questions. But the math is the same as what I had in 7th grade. The geography is stupid compared to today's
technology of seeing the planet. The history dates are insane unless I'm primed with culturally-appropriate events. And of course I screwed the
answers on purpose.