THE CRYING GAME

I consider crying an important way to clear my body of emotional build up- and I do not mean in some vague mind -sense.... for emotions are physiological, they are chemicals, hormones, that your body produces in response to things.
Normally they serve to give us the physical energy we need to take action in response to a threat or obstacle, but since our mind can exaggerate the size of the problem (and the body doesn't know the difference between objective reality and subjective),
or our circumstances have us in a restricted position where we cannot react,
you can have too much of these chemicals circulating in your body, and that can be destructive to your body in many ways.

So crying (and sweating, I think) allows us to empty out the excess. I made a joke yesterday in a post about it being how I "release extra fuel to lighten my load", because as I watched this being done in a plane I was in once, it hit me that the processes are similar.

Though I admit my view is not based on scientific data- I have never researched to find out whether this is true, I would be almost willing to bet it is. In any case, I find it useful in a way that seems to point to this conclusion.

editted to add- as I often do, I rushed to put my two cents in befoe reading what others answered, and I see that someone else already posted a theory like my own! I am glad to see that there has been some evidence this is true!

-as a side note, I don't know if humans are the only animals to do this, because I have had some experiences in seeing horses cry in certain situations, that are very compelling indications that they cry in the same way we do.
They are also a highly emotional-reactional animals too, so it would make sense...

Originally posted by smyleegrl
Emotionally, crying allows the person to release pent-up anger, sadness, terror, or other emotions. Some people cry, others punch pillows or yell at trees.

I find crying to be therapeutic. I don't do it often, but when stress builds and I'm at my breaking point, a good ten minute bawl will set things to rights. Afterwards, I feel drained and empty of emotion much like a punctured abscess (sorry about that analogy, but it's apt).

My poor husband, he doesn't get it, even after almost eight years of marriage. He thinks crying is a bad thing, and automatically tries to give me comfort. Then I have to explain that I need a good cry, not to worry, and everything will be okay.

I think of crying like the release valve on a pressure cooker. If you don't release it somehow, you'll explode.

I also believe we should be teaching our young ones how to release these feelings...I have a hunch that some of today's spree killers never learned how to let go.

Well put, I agree with you with your abscess analogy and on the contrary ,I think it is a very fitting metaphorical description toward shutting in emotions. If it does not burst and cleanse it becomes dangerous and a potential threat to the outside world.

As for your husband, maybe you should get him to shed a tear or two with you now and again.
I'm sure being in a relationship that you share certain problems as a team and some team crying can be applicable. Although as a male I understand all to well the embarrassment of crying in front of other people as our roles are depicted to be the "strong ones". If only hehe, Good things

Originally posted by cartesia
educated guess would be pre-existing abilities repurposed in the evolution of social structures/ communication.

Could very well be the case if viewed objectively but the point of this thread is to get a subjective perspective on the phenomena aswell. What makes you cry and how you think it affect the universe you call your body??

Same reasons that we swear! the room is dark, our big toes are soft and squishy and the oak legs of the bedpost are very, very hard and painful when you make contact in the dark when you get up in the middle of the night because you hear a tiny voice calling 'Daddy'!

Originally posted by Xaphan
There's nothing wrong with crying. I'm male and I don't think males who cry are [snip]. For some strange reason though I'm unable to cry and have been for about 12 years now (best estimate). I'm not sure why I can't, but I just can't even when I feel sad.

edit on 18-2-2013 by Kandinsky because: Snipped needless profanity

I can relate to your dilemma although the duration of my inability to cry was about10 years shy compared to yours.
It could be certain stimulants and or chemicals with a combination of a certain mind set that could affect your expression of emotional relief or at least I can link that description to my past struggles. Of course just as unique our bodies and minds are so can our problems be.

I do however hope that you can regain that ability in the near future and release 12 years of a well deserved weeping session

Good things

Originally posted by Bluesma
I consider crying an important way to clear my body of emotional build up- and I do not mean in some vague mind -sense.... for emotions are physiological, they are chemicals, hormones, that your body produces in response to things.
Normally they serve to give us the physical energy we need to take action in response to a threat or obstacle, but since our mind can exaggerate the size of the problem (and the body doesn't know the difference between objective reality and subjective),
or our circumstances have us in a restricted position where we cannot react,
you can have too much of these chemicals circulating in your body, and that can be destructive to your body in many ways.

So crying (and sweating, I think) allows us to empty out the excess. I made a joke yesterday in a post about it being how I "release extra fuel to lighten my load", because as I watched this being done in a plane I was in once, it hit me that the processes are similar.

Though I admit my view is not based on scientific data- I have never researched to find out whether this is true, I would be almost willing to bet it is. In any case, I find it useful in a way that seems to point to this conclusion.

editted to add- as I often do, I rushed to put my two cents in befoe reading what others answered, and I see that someone else already posted a theory like my own! I am glad to see that there has been some evidence this is true!

-as a side note, I don't know if humans are the only animals to do this, because I have had some experiences in seeing horses cry in certain situations, that are very compelling indications that they cry in the same way we do.
They are also a highly emotional-reactional animals too, so it would make sense...

edit on 18-2-2013 by Bluesma because: (no reason given)

I really appreciate your personal input and I can agree with you to an certain extent. We are Indeed biological machines riddled with chemical reactions and the fusion between those reactions and our self awareness is a remarkable concept.
One could bring some metaphysical or esoteric implications to the table but we leave that for another time.

What I would like comment on is your mentioning of horses displaying emotion. I really find those animals to be so closely linked to humans because of their long relationship with us, I watched a movie by the name of War Horse (Steven Spielberg) and wouldn't you know it, I cried

Originally posted by CarbonBase
Same reasons that we swear! the room is dark, our big toes are soft and squishy and the oak legs of the bedpost are very, very hard and painful when you make contact in the dark when you get up in the middle of the night because you hear a tiny voice calling 'Daddy'!

edit on 18/2/2013 by CarbonBase because: bad typing

As long as Daddy knows that it's perfectly normal for him to bump his big toe and shed a tear as well as a yelp of profanity and still be the hero hehe

Good things

It's just something humans do when they don't get what they want for various reasons. It might be because they will not see their beloved again for a while when their physical bodies die and they want to let everyone know how much they care because this says something about their capacity for caring and societies reward individuals who care.

It's also because when there is genuine sadness, spirits might be present at the funerals and witness everyone's reaction while the living is too busy crying. Which is also a way to be close to angels, or demons because you never know what you might get.

It's like the child that doesn't get it's toy and start crying so the parents start to feel guilty and give them whatever they want. Pretty much like getting upset or mad at parents, or the opposite of enticing the parents to get what they want. Or that baby trying to get a hug when it stumbles and falls while taking it's first steps.

Then there is the tears of happiness, when people are supposed to be extremely happy about something which in reality they are not so happy about but they have to hide their true emotions so not to upset the other whom they depend on in some way because of material or emotional rewards like money or an I love you text message or entire love ballad. In this scheme the person has to keep going through all those emotional barriers over and over again and strecht it each time because otherwise the other might find out about their true emotions which they have to hide deeper and deeper. And that's why most men don't cry.

reply to post by FreeThinkerbychoice


Yeah, I liked that movie too.
Horses do not have an intellectual-type of intelligence as we do, I don't think. They don't seem to use linear thought, and associate things in terms of cause-effect. It is closer to the intuitive or subconscious intelligence we have that associates things in equal groupings instead, based upon memory of experiences.
But without delving into that too much, they are highly emotive.

I have seen tears begin dropping from their eyes with the loss of a long term partner (another horse I mean), and I have seen it happen when they were in great pain.

In each case one could hypothesize other explanations- they could have just happened to get dust in their eye right then...but if you know the rest of their body language, you would recognize other signs of emotional distress at the same time.

In my own humble opinion, I don't think a horse would "think" about things they want or imagine they are missing, as we do. But the experience of loss of security and familiarity can still be felt and provoke a flood of hormonal reactions in them that could need to be released in tears. -Especially in captivity where action and expression may be limited! A horse in a state of emotional distress might get out that hormonal rush by running and bucking in nature... but if he is tied to a post and conditioned to stand still at that moment, the body needs to get it out somehow! (unless it is able to break away and go running through a battlefield and barbed wire, of course.... )

Originally posted by Bluesma
reply to post by FreeThinkerbychoice

 

Yeah, I liked that movie too.

Horses do not have an intellectual-type of intelligence as we do, I don't think. They don't seem to use linear thought, and associate things in terms of cause-effect. It is closer to the intuitive or subconscious intelligence we have that associates things in equal groupings instead, based upon memory of experiences.
But without delving into that too much, they are highly emotive.

I have seen tears begin dropping from their eyes with the loss of a long term partner (another horse I mean), and I have seen it happen when they were in great pain.

In each case one could hypothesize other explanations- they could have just happened to get dust in their eye right then...but if you know the rest of their body language, you would recognize other signs of emotional distress at the same time.

In my own humble opinion, I don't think a horse would "think" about things they want or imagine they are missing, as we do. But the experience of loss of security and familiarity can still be felt and provoke a flood of hormonal reactions in them that could need to be released in tears. -Especially in captivity where action and expression may be limited! A horse in a state of emotional distress might get out that hormonal rush by running and bucking in nature... but if he is tied to a post and conditioned to stand still at that moment, the body needs to get it out somehow! (unless it is able to break away and go running through a battlefield and barbed wire, of course....

)

edit on 19-2-2013 by Bluesma because: (no reason given)

Well stated, Unfortunately I have not spent as much time around horses to observe them in such a manner yet I can imagine that they lean more towards instinctual and intuitive thought processes.

Quite remarkable though, us being human, with our critical sense of thinking, observing, and conceptualizing. Giving us abilities to formulate a credible hypothesis and plausible theories about pretty much everything in our reach yet there is always that slight bit of uncertainty (well at least in my mind) that we could be mistaken when it comes to the cognitive abilities of animals. One thing I know for sure though, they respect this planet way more than we do.

Good things

reply to post by FreeThinkerbychoice
Maybe we (humans) cry because the animals can't.