posted on Feb, 14 2013 @ 08:35 AM
Most of my life has been lived through the eyes of an atheist, I was not born in to any particular religion. For a very long time I was obsessed by
the though of proving that god does not exist as soon as someone mentioned it. It made me feel very insecure and afraid I suppose, the fear of gods
existence. I didn't believe in life after death, reincarnation or any such thing.
The change came to me as I lay pondering about death and my fear of it, how you everyday take all kinds of precautions to avoid it, we pay a high
price for it sometimes like loss of liberty, happiness and many more little things. This little glimmer of a thought me feel unhappy and unsatisfied
with the way I had lived up to that moment, how I had let my fears control me and hold me back from doing what I really wanted to do. The inevitable
conclusion of all this is, of course, the question "Why live then?" it didn't consider suicide I should say, it was merely a self-reflecting
thought that acquired momentum.
The quote "Seize the day" came to mind and that if you don't cling to your fear of death all the time you can actually do exactly what you want to,
even that which would seem to be only a remote dream becomes possible. If you live each moment as one you can truly be proud of then there will be no
moment for your death to be in vain. After this experience my fear of death was greatly diminished, not completely extinguished, I'm still working on
that to this day but I feel much more alive. You are only what you are at this moment, the power to be is always there.
This led me to the belief we defy death all the time in our dreams and if we die in our dreams, we wake up. I believe the same principle applies to
physical death, when we die we wake up, but in another body. What does this have to do with god? Maybe nothing, maybe everything. I believe god is
everything and it gives me peace, since when I didn't believe it gave me fear. I don't adhere to any particular religion, I just am. I still very
much enjoy science I just don't see it as a way to find or invalidate the existence of god. What we get when we search for answers are just more
Whether or not god exist is irrelevant as my life will still have been lived to the fullest extent, with infinite possibilities, we are god maybe not
the complete being manifested into a human body but we used to be that singular manifestation.