How Height Doesn't Matter

Height doesn't matter. Unfortunately, it doesn't matter in the same way that other areas of discrimination matter. For example: a fat person can never be called "fatty" or "fatso", etc, because it would be entirely politically incorrect, nay, uncouth, to describe someone in such a way. After all, it might be a glandular problem, something beyond their control. In no articles written about governor Chris Chrisie will the word "fat lard" or "fatty" appear beside his name. It is simply insensitive to say so.

Similarly, it would not be nice to call a gay person a 'fag' or 'faggy', or a black person a you-know-what. But how come when we read about short politicians do the usual norms of political correctness fall through the cracks? Why is it more ok to take jabs at short guys (I'm 5'7 myself) than it would be any other group which deals with the emotional soars of discrimination and derision? In one article I read of "Sarkozy’s midget-like height". Such a slur would be unthinkable about the tub-of-lard Chris Christie or the cock-lover Jim Mcgreevey, because we recognize it is wrong to use such adjectives to describe people; but when it comes to shortness, we have a tendency to be short-sighted on how being short might make the people who are short feel.

Next, there are girls. If you go by popular dating websites you come by girls who make all sorts of unreasonable demands. At PlentyofFish, one girl says "If you're not 5'10 or taller, I wont respond to your messages". This girl is 5'3. And in plenty of other ones, girls, often the shorter ones, repeat the same quirk: only tall guys, anything less than tall is unacceptable.

Forget that average height in America is 5'9 1/2, and that 5'10 and above limits your pool of prospects to only a smaller percentage, but its especially irritating when girls who are at the short end of their own sexes height specify that the physical difference of 2 or 3 inches of height is a world of difference for them. Never mind the superficiality of it. This is why dating sites often end up in train wrecks. Everyone is too busy concentrating on the physical shortcomings of people instead of getting to know them first as people before, as opposed to taking a stock of their physical features to make sure they meet their specifications. And mind you: the numbers probably wont work. Not everyone can get the guy who is tall when guys who are 5'6 a 5'7 are as common as guys who are 6'0 or 6'1. Besides, what about tall girls? Paradoxically, the taller the girl is, the more likely she is to compromise with her partners height. If she's 5'8, a recent study said 18% would be willing to date a short guy. Whereas many girls who are 5'2 or 5'3 prefer men who are average height or taller.

I'm not saying we should try to bend human nature. Obviously, our cavemen instincts drive us to prefer the more physically attractive members of the opposite sex. Girls, understandably, if confronted with a good looking 5'7 man or a good looking 6'1 man will on height alone prefer the latter. That's nature for you. But we are so obviously more than nature. We are complex personalities embedded in a situation that contradicts so much of what nature presents to us: as Theodore Roosevelt once said, nature is "death by violence, death by cold, death by starvation". In short, we humans have needs that transcend physical and natural cues. A personality is what we truly desire, and as all people who have ever been in love know, a not so good looking person can become gorgeous to you by the mere presence of emotional feelings. Love is largely blind to physical stature, or looks. Although of course it should matter to a degree, the height preferences made by short girls is a bit hysterical and extremely superficial. My sister was one of those girls. At 5'2 3/4, she always said she only dated tall guys. 6'1, 6'4, 6'2, until she finally settled with a 5'7 1/2 guy, did she realize how superficial her demands really were.

Why do you feel insecure about your height? You were born that way, to quote the contemporary philosopher Lady Gaga.

It's ok.

You don't want to go out with those girls anyways.

reply to post by DestroyDestroyDestroy


hahahaha @ lady gaga being a noteworthy contemporary philosopher.

You're definitely onto some things. Nobody cares much about the sensitivities of short people

just speaking off the head, one of the explanations as to why it's more acceptable than in other cases is that its usual that comments about height aren't really malicious or driven by hatred. It'd be like commenting on someone having size 14 shoes, maybe it's more acceptable to do so, but such observations or remarks aren't driven by a hatred or genuine dislike of people with big feet.

I see your point but it is different in that regard, possibly

reply to post by dontreally



On a serious note though, height, and other physical shortcomings, don't matter, unless you make them matter. I'm 5'7" as well, but I don't think anything of it. If someone has a negative opinion about my height that's his or her problem, not mine lol. Some things you can control, such as diet, hygiene, etc, and somethings you can't. There's no use feeling insecure about the things you can't change about yourself, and thus no point getting worked up about people's opinions regarding said things.

Hence the Gaga phrase, "born that way." As stupid as it is, it holds a lot of water.

reply to post by dontreally


Depending on the day I'm either 6-2 or 6-1.. My Girlfriend is like 5-4 or 5-5.. So I find myself wanting to be a bit shorter most days..

reply to post by dontreally


For such a long post you have really said very little. It seems to boil down to:

*It doesn't matter to people enough to make the same accommodations for stature-challenged people that they do for fat or gay people

and...

*What you seem to be saying is that it actually does matter to girls, but that is despite the national statistics and most importantly, not in the way that you would like it to matter to them.

Otherwise it just seems like you have taken the opportunity to rage out and include the obese and the homosexual in your blast radius. I personally find your poor excuse to use the term 'cock-lover' to be in especially poor taste, but I am sure that was your intention.

This is why dating sites often end up in train wrecks.

And mind you: the numbers probably wont work. Not everyone can get the guy who is tall when guys who are 5'6 a 5'7 are as common as guys who are 6'0 or 6'1. Besides, what about tall girls? Paradoxically, the taller the girl is, the more likely she is to compromise with her partners height. If she's 5'8, a recent study said 18% would be willing to date a short guy. Whereas many girls who are 5'2 or 5'3 prefer men who are average height or taller.

These are eternal mysteries that mankind has been trying to work out since I Love Lucy, I guarantee that beating your head against them will not cause them to yield up their secrets.

I am also intrigued that you seem to think that you will find some resolution to these problems on another forum, via essentially the same medium.

That was an offensive post, all in all.

Theres a small man who I work with, about 5 foot. One day hes going to snap, I can see it coming lol. We have constant banter at my work and he gives as much as he takes, but one day I can see him flipping out and doing se serious damage to somebody's knees.

In regards to POF or dating websites, they tend to attract alot of "women (little)" who are looking for sugar daddies or to improve their genes. And on the other hand you have little "men" exploiting those same shallow quasi motos.
Personally, I think it's a good thing. You can tell who is who by these "hints" they leave!

It's a shame though, alot of very good looking people (it seems) make looks a focal point of their choices of mates.
What happens when they get older? POOF thats what!
Although I will say, some people age like a fine wine.

I dont think It really matters. But I am kind of superficial I like my girls short, If I liked them tall I'd be out of luck, not many girls I can consider tall.

reply to post by dontreally


It is a fundamental right to choose who you want to produce offspring with. No one has the right to dictate who someone else can mate with.

We all prefer the healthier, more attractive partners. How tall someone is, is a factor in mate selection. Some people are too tall, some too short, some too thin and some too fat to be prime mating material.

At the end of the day, people will naturally prefer who they naturally prefer.

reply to post by DestroyDestroyDestroy


Yay! were tied in height!

I don't personally care that much. Maybe a little when a girl tells me "you're too short", but I can see that when I find mrs. right it wont be that much of an issue. But while you're still on the dating scene the issue pops up a surprising amount for someone who is just marginally under average height.

What I'm more startled by is the mean-spirited wording like "midget-like" to describe sarkozy in a major article, when saying something similarly derisive of an overweight person or a gay person or some other embittered minority would be deemed politically correct.

I'm just curious as to what people think about this.

This is actually you come by often.

Yep, POF or rather, the girls at POF (not all, duh) all want Super man, prince charming, the Old Spice guy, the Green freaking Giant and Lex Luthor all wraped into one. Whats worse then being short though is not having a job, car and house of your own. Its like everybody thinks shortness is some how bad, the olny reason I can see in the case of girls is length proportions. Other then the girls, its like they think we still need hight if we are going to be defending the castle from barbarians and dragons!

One day we will have life like androids and when they are accepted as the norm, girls will understand (men "boys" will understand too).

reply to post by Bybyots

Otherwise it just seems like you have taken the opportunity to rage out and include the obese and the homosexual in your blast radius. I personally find your poor excuse to use the term 'cock-lover' to be in especially poor taste, but I am sure that was your intention.

Sorry, my post had two intentions, clearly unnoticed by you.

The first was to point out how the term "midget-like' was used to describe Sarkozy, when it would never have been tolerated if "fatso" or "obese-like" would appear in an article on Chris Christie, or, similarly, cock-lover (which I know is completely tasteless, and outside the example I wouldn't use it, so you can relax) beside Jim Mcgreevey's name

My point by using such terms was to capture the emotional content they contain. Midget is about as hurtful a term a short person can hear. Just as fat ass, or Faggot, or something similar would hurt the feelings of a fat or gay person. The culture of political correctness which hamstrings straightforward communication for the sake of protecting peoples feelings is designed just for this purpose: but for some odd reason famous short people don't seem to be accorded the same consideration.

Really, my point is valid. I'm not so much complaining as I am inquiring as to the reasons for it. It's interesting in itself. Fat people, gays, women, muslims, etc, are politically protected groups where what one says is regulated by taboos. But short people are beyond the pale.

My second point was to qualify my complaint that a girls preference for tall guys is biologically understandable. However, it is superficial to make it out to be more than it actually is: a mere physical feature. Another poster chimed in that height is an important consideration when picking your partner. I find that ridiculous. First off, height has steadily increased since man has improved his diet. Just 200 years ago the average American man was around my height (5'7 1/2). 200 years later were 2 inches taller. In any case, are we designing a superior Aryan race where height is preferable to shortness? Of course not. So I sought to emphasize that despite this biological instinct which inclines us toward superficial cave-man like concerns (such as the biggest man is the strongest and thus most able to protect you), a girl should still give precedence to personality over physical appearance.

Short people got no reason

reply to post by n00bUK


I thank God for every one of those 7 inches which separates me from him. However, I think facetiousness and flippancy is overall a bad policy. Teasing him probably feels like torture for him. And if being small is a problem - as it likely is - it would be great, nay, a tremendously evolutionary step forward, if you all could be a little more sympathetic with him.

Having spent some time on POF I can say, don't use that site as a basis for what the majority of people are looking for in a partner. I have seen those same profiles that you speak of. The ones that say "No short guys" and "No fat guys" and "No ugly guys." I'm pretty sure it's the same with most dating sites, and I always thought it would be a great subject for a college thesis. I'm pretty sure most people on those sites say those things on purpose just to troll others. No different than any other internet website when you think about it.

There's a guy that I work with that is very short. He's small in stature but a happy, personable
guy....everybody calls him "Shorty" and he doesn't seem to mind

One I asked him what his name was. He told me. Now I call him by his name.

reply to post by dontreally


1. Google "Chris Christie fat" and tell me that it is socially unacceptable to make fun of circumferencically gifted people. I think there's actually more of an uproar over political correctness in regards to short people than there is relating to fatsos, to be honest. My God, supposedly "midget" is offensive now. MIDGET! Of all the stupidest words to take offense over. Seriously, if I was a dwarf or a midget I'd much prefer being called a unique identity like dwarf or midget than little person. The hell is that? Talk about an insulting, nondescript label to smack on someone. If I was 3'10" and somebody squatted down and said "We carry clothes for the little person like yourself" I'd flip them off and yell "Dumbass, a child is a "little person", I'm a midget."

2. I'm 6'4"... Obviously this topic isn't exactly one which I have much in the way of personal experience to bring to the table. That said, you shorter folks that wish you were taller... crown yourself a couple times getting in and out of your SUV or raise up under a beam that has 1" less clearance than your height. Take an airplane ride across the country with your legs literally folded under your seat. Have to readjust the driver's seat everytime your average height wife has driven your vehicle. Enjoy constantly being asked by old ladies at the store to help them reach something on the top shelf. Believe me, short and tall, each have their own unique benefits and problems.