Names Ben; Finally thought id come too introduce myself after about a few years of reading and relating to topics and post's. Im currently 23, 24 in
april. Always have had the deep insight to detail and meaning at heart, raw emotion what makes the decisions if there was any emotion considered at
all to the upper hands in this world (many and not even a hinger). Ive found my way too truth and an awake mind more recently for a couple of years
now through mediation and teachings in body - I'll get to that in a moment.. I wanted to share maybe a little of my past; and maybe show how the past
can be so well connected to yourself; its not till down the road you learn truly of yourself. I was about 12 years of age; mom at the time was dating
a guy for couple years, with that many moves and "guy(s)" friends before cant recall to a number... never had time to settle down into a school as a
kid; but always made friends and the only few that are close i still talk too now.. Mom always though made the best for me and my other 2 sisters. The
bond between is great today from our experiences before. Our love has always been great for one another.. I wanted to get too my father, whom i never
got too know; mom talking for the topic about my dad (Les), to me for a good 2 days; spilling her guts at me and me just absorbing it all in still not
what too think of all the information she's told me.. I guess when i was ready. It was hard for her too, being it was her first love out of high
school. She was 8 months pregnant with me. she swears that day while he left for work (He did mainly logging contracts here in north Ontario, Canada)
that it would be the last time shed of kissed his lips and said of good bye. Here tuition was telling her. I of tho never though, whom my youngest
sister, (Calista)'s father id always called my father and he was there supportive as we grew. they got a divorce when i was about 8 years old, and
then later as age moved progressing, till about 17 would travel between Pennsylvania to visit his family; and step siblings where he got a permanent
resident with marriage. Just this detail alone with my father, whom i never got to know.. i wanted to know more.. I needed to find truth in society
and my all means loosing every distraction physically around me and using the minds tools, observing, in the background. I learned tho; He has been
here with me the whole way- between me and my mom.. I can safely say ive walked away from things that you could think twice over what happened and why
Id be still standing alive,(too many) those little moments at detail..turning 18 i collected nearly 100K in insurance that was put away for me as a
baby.. I spent most of it on friends and family, i hate money.....
We as kids where never FORCED to believe; mom told us the truth how things where and we had the right to explore every bit of it. Never held anything
against us for better to protect us and better ourselves. And as truth, this is why im here now; So many things are going on today; that everyone cant
help but point flaws out.. Some things are perfect others just need to be stopped.. but at reason. 09/11, i was 11, was the gateway... It was the the
wrong... A mental shift into pathway... I fear tho the destruction worse; ourselves. (war, advancements) - After not having much thought of things i
was really consecrated with highschool... (not really) but passed fluently with a first criminal record. I was for; first person breaking into the
whole school boards private network and, full power on there systems... higher then the Admin himself... I felt proud of what i did, i never was
destructive or anything (could of, or even added myself too the payee system), and after showing the systems admins what i did, was then later, still
am monitored to agreement.. But nuff of that... So growing up with computers, and having no belief... i was fully distracted with everything around
me, like OCD, have to touch everything... =/ ..
I want to talk about my spiritual awareness and my paranormal practices..
For 2 years like i stated above, i have been practicing meditation- with OBE's , Astral projection... sleep aids, all with audio and lights... which
at start had mixed experiences. Meditation has lead me to truth... to mind.. peace.. worry and stress free!! I used to worry and stress SO MUCH! Not
anymore.. I dont even use the audio much anymore... Just rock crystals, like quarts, topaz, amethyst.. My topaz was handed to me by a fellow my mom
met at the bar, but gave each my sisters, and mom a crystal stone while the white long hair man walked away from here; he offered her a drink but was
the DD- So instead gave her the rocks, we where not there at the time. When i was younger.. never had interest at it at the time, mom said to me that
when time was right id use the topaz, which now is crafted into a gold ring with the topaz as the pendent. Topaz brings or draws energy to you,
I want to share newest log, yes i keep a journal; Ill be posting a whole subject with that soon, its personal but i think others can relate to this
"dimension" of all my practices quickly before i end this long hello as an example - February 5, and 6th. -
Feb 5. 1:23AM - Meditating to sleep. The vibrations(clear light, tint blue) sound wrapped my body into a trance. From the tip of my head, down my
shoulders, wrapped into my hands, through then the sides, into the pelvic then down my legs into feet, and flowing back up the bodys sides in opposite
direction. I saw (about 1 hour into trance, i think) for brief moment appeared all around me as if i where standing observing. Vegetative or jungle
like environment, greenery around; in front was 2 pillars 1 left and 1 right, stone with symbol's graved (which i remember and drawn) around front of
the pillars.. They also had snakes covering around them, alive, some big, some smaller green ones.. And in the center of the pillars was a stone Sun..
with white and blue (like propane blue) glowing from behind and around it. On the top center between the pillars was a moon and sun above in the sky..
bright... feeling them. Quickly all vanished in mental amazement (awareness) it all seemed and felt psychically real..
then i slept.. woke up and now writing it here...
that is (except added brackets) from my personal journal, never have shared it. Ive had many experiences all wrote into my journel from 2 years. In
hope too soon all share it RIGHT HERE ON ATS! I fear soon tho Korea.. That really makes me ill... That is all And thank you for reading