New Movie Releases Reviews - Jan. 2013

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posted on Feb, 5 2013 @ 03:04 AM
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Someone put me in a coma, please!

Movies are not what they use to be, I think we can all agree there.
Originality has gone bye bye.

This year we have been bestowed with such films as...

Lincoln
Haunted House
Hansel & Gretel Witch Hunters
Haunting in CT 2 - Ghosts of Georgia

Do I need to go on? I think I should.

**Lincoln**
This movie was a coma inducing mind job. Anyone with a mind of their own found this film dull and mind numbing. Anyone who imitates their personality from mainstream, found this to be, "a good film" ..."Very entertaining"..... "A good film"..... "Very entertaining"....

No one in the midst of reality found this movie enjoyable.
It was dull, boring, Looooooooooooooooooooooooong, and somewhat, long & boring.
My soul was trying to escape my body & return to Hell during the 15th hour of the film.
Some say it should have been called, "The 13th Amendment"... I say it should have been called, "The 13th Hour of this film is what causes your Coma" instead.

**Haunted House**
No surprises here. This is what you expect it to be.... mindless entertainment and a waste of 80 minutes. The bright side.... it was only 80 mins long.
It will make you smirk at times, and it serves it's purpose as a mindless date movie, that's all it's worth though. Waste the money on this if you plan on making out during the film.

**Hansel and Gretel**
If you are a nerd, and loved Lord of the Rings, you might find this tolerable.
I didn't expect much from this, and I was not disappointed in my expectations.
If you enjoy CGI movies, and liked this, you need therapy. I've seen better CGI on YT.
If you enjoy "The Matrix"... real life, not the film, then you might enjoy this fantasy adventure.

**Haunting in Connecticut 2 - Ghosts of Georgia**
If you are as afraid of the title as I was, you were right.
What a waste of time, money, effort, life, time... did I say time?
You know those kind of horror movies that waste your time by scaring you by loud noises and visual nonsense? Well, this won't disappoint you if you enjoy that kind of horror.
I personally liked this movie when it was called "The Blair Witch Project." Wait.... I'm confusing this with another rip off coming soon... it's hard to distinguish between all the haze of nonsense in Hollywood.
The ending of this movie will probably make you want to punch your wallet in the face.
I wouldn't watch this film for free on the internet. Don't waste your free time & free money.

If you have watched a decent film in 2013 at the theater.... you're lying.
There is nothing worth spending your hard earned dollars on this year so far... I would tell you if there was. Though these films weren't filmed in 2013, this year has introduced nothing but disappointments so far.

I plan on doing a monthly review of newly released films throughout 2013 right here.
Stay tuned if you want to see more raw analyses of new 2013 releases from one of films most critical conspiracy theorists.... Me.

I hate most of the crap Hollywood is putting out lately... but I love good crap, and I'll be honest when I do find something worth while to the critical thinker out there.

Save your money folks...
I'll let you know next month what is worth spending your slave labor wages on.

Until then, there is always 80s flicks to keep you numb.





edit on 5-2-2013 by JibbyJedi because: tyops




posted on Feb, 5 2013 @ 03:10 AM
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I enjoyed your film review!
Allot of crap movies these days.
I did watch Life of Pi, in the theatre. I do not really like 3D, but this movie was not to bad.
Interesting story, nice end, and visually very well done.



posted on Feb, 5 2013 @ 03:16 AM
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reply to post by LiberalSceptic
 





I did watch Life of Pi, in the theatre.


I did find this film in my travels online and watched it.
I found it "watchable" and it leaves you thinking about it later on.

I'm not sure if I liked it, or I was just so desperate to like anything that didn't make me feel retarded.



posted on Feb, 5 2013 @ 03:19 AM
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reply to post by JibbyJedi
 


I prefer movies form the 80s.
Effects made by hand, interesting stories and everything had not already been done.



posted on Feb, 5 2013 @ 03:29 AM
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reply to post by LiberalSceptic
 


I also miss the 80s mentality in film making.
It seems like 'they" just don't try anymore.

Remember how those 80s films made you feel before and after? It was a roller coaster ride of excitement... mostly disappointing after you saw the film, but during, it was fun not knowing if or when you were going to be disappointed.

You want to watch some good 80s flicks that will bring you back to the good ole days.... watch Cocoon, ET, The Last StarFighter, Enemy Mine, Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind, Wargames, Back to the Future 1,2,3,The Abyss, and by the time you finish those.... more disappointment films will be out in February 2013 to waste your time watching.



edit on 5-2-2013 by JibbyJedi because: more tyops



posted on Feb, 5 2013 @ 03:40 AM
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reply to post by JibbyJedi
 


Exactly! Everything is to easy nowadays.
The old horror movies are brilliant. Rubber masks, proper cosmetics and 100% dedication.
I love the first 3 Hellraiser movies by Clive Barker. Or the early Terror on Elmstreet. It is not done like that anymore.
The Abyss and Wargames are brilliant. Jacobs Ladder is one of the better as well.
And of course since I am a Trekkie, TOS! But that is before the 80s.

Oh, Reservoir Dogs by Tarantino! Though it is from 1992. I always enjoyed the dialogue in his movies.
Scanners and The Fly by Cronenberg as well!

Every time a new "horror movie" is released, I already know that it will never compare to the old ones mentioned above. And I still wait for something that will give me the same feeling as they did...
edit on 5-2-2013 by LiberalSceptic because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 5 2013 @ 03:46 AM
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Being a complete Zombie fanatic...

Yeah, I know but true.

I'm looking forward to this monstrosity..



Also for those who haven't read the book and can't wait for the movie there is a full 6+ hour audio book available free on YouTube.
I'm about 3/4 done. Will finish it tonight before bed


www.youtube.com...
edit on 5-2-2013 by SLAYER69 because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 5 2013 @ 03:47 AM
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reply to post by LiberalSceptic
 


We are at least in the same book if not on the same page.

Appreciation of the "classics" now involves 1980s films, when classic for me use to mean black & white films I didn't care for. The 80s were a unique time for films, a time I hope comes again as a movie goer.

Star Trek.... I am going back & watching them all lately.
I do have to say, DS9 is something that should have never existed.
It ruins the whole Star Trek saga.... I just pretend that series never existed.



posted on Feb, 5 2013 @ 03:49 AM
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reply to post by SLAYER69
 


I saw a really short trailer of that one about a year ago (could be less), but I never got that it was a zombie movie.
In the zombie genre, my favorites are still Bad Taste and Braindead.



posted on Feb, 5 2013 @ 03:52 AM
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reply to post by JibbyJedi
 


I mean, all they have to do is to go back to proper craftsmanship and leave the cgi behind. It can not be that hard!
I would imagine that allot of the movie producers grew up with the "classics" from the 80s, so why not honor that and try to make something similar...

DS9, brrr..... It is not one of the greater moments, I will give you that. But anything Star Trek for me is generally ok.
Nothing beats TOS though.
edit on 5-2-2013 by LiberalSceptic because: (no reason given)



posted on Feb, 5 2013 @ 03:57 AM
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Originally posted by LiberalSceptic
reply to post by SLAYER69
 


I saw a really short trailer of that one about a year ago (could be less), but I never got that it was a zombie movie.
In the zombie genre, my favorites are still Bad Taste and Braindead.


Walking Dead.... Best series on TV these days, zombie genre.

Here's the World War Z trailer:


The trailer looks exciting, they did a good job motivating the audience to want to see this film.
I am optimistic... but I have a feeling I'll be back on here making a bad review.

I have movie PTSD. I've been traumatized by horrific films, not horror genre, but horrific film making. As in "bad"... like Transformers 3. Huge excitement for the film, horrified by the actress replacing Megan Fox, and by the rewatchability of the film.



posted on Feb, 5 2013 @ 04:06 AM
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Originally posted by JibbyJedi
reply to post by LiberalSceptic
 


I also miss the 80s mentality in film making.
It seems like 'they" just don't try anymore.

Remember how those 80s films made you feel before and after? It was a roller coaster ride of excitement... mostly disappointing after you saw the film, but during, it was fun not knowing if or when you were going to be disappointed.

You want to watch some good 80s flicks that will bring you back to the good ole days.... watch Cocoon, ET, The Last StarFighter, Enemy Mine, Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind, Wargames, Back to the Future 1,2,3,The Abyss, and by the time you finish those.... more disappointment films will be out in February 2013 to waste your time watching.



edit on 5-2-2013 by JibbyJedi because: more tyops


Oh! Enemy Mine! That was a good one indeed! Thanks for reminding me. God I love 80's movies. Some were so bad yet so good, lol.

Don't forget Escape from NY (1981), Alien (1979,I know it's not 80's but damn near close), Aliens (1986), The Goonies (1985), Akira (1988), Planes, Trains, and Automobiles (1987), and so much more.

Do you feel it yet? That good ole' nostalgia coming back to smack you in the face?


Please be kind, rewind.



posted on Feb, 5 2013 @ 04:16 AM
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reply to post by JibbyJedi
 


By the way, thanks for the reviews. I wasn't planning on watching those anyway but I do appreciate your input nonetheless. Didn't even know about them actually, except Hansel and Gretel. I was considering renting it when it's available for rental.

I haven't been to a movie theater in a while. We hardly go because we feel it's just way too expensive nowadays for something that may be crappy when we can just wait for it at Redbox for only a couple bucks.



posted on Feb, 5 2013 @ 04:16 AM
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reply to post by LiberalSceptic
 





anything Star Trek for me is generally ok. Nothing beats TOS though.


We all have to stop the "forgive & forget" mentality when it comes to Star Trek.
So many times they disappoint us, and we, like Stockholm Syndrome patients, forgive all the bad they've done by promoting the good they have done, sometimes being many decades ago.

The new Star Trek "Into Darkness" is going to be watchable... about once, maybe twice, then it will be forgotten. I can already tell. It's too much too fast, and the bad guy isn't going to earn our hate before he is thought of as "bad", it will be implied upon and we as the audience will have to build up our anger toward him quickly and hastily.

I miss the good ole days of the even number Star Trek films, I did take exception to Star Trek 3 though, Kirk stole the Enterprise and broke a lot of rules. That holds my attention.

Don't hold your breath on Star Trek Into Darkness being some magical movie that will surpass the rest... nothing has overtaken Wrath of Khan yet, and that movie was made in the 80s. Still the best.



posted on Feb, 5 2013 @ 04:29 AM
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reply to post by Cherry0
 


Alien! How the heck could I forget to add that to the list. Good one!



posted on Feb, 5 2013 @ 04:33 AM
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reply to post by JibbyJedi
 


Yeah but the entire genre of Star Trek have given me so many good moments.
And I am a sucker for anything spaceisch.
Wrath of Khan, a piece of Sci-Fi history, amazing!
Do not remember the name of the episode, but one in TOS were Kirk goes made and evil. Brilliant!
Think it could be "The Enemy Within".
edit on 5-2-2013 by LiberalSceptic because: (no reason given)





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