Personal feelings

Personal experience.

The carnival



As the time pass, cigerette smoke, coffee stains,i realise i circled my world, without watching outside, waiting too long, now the carnival is over,i sit here,my hands closed around my agonizing heart.


So long, the time, so long,my hopes,i dreamed about you, about your life, waiting for you, but you never came back, i waited outside your house,i waited alone, hoping to see you again.

But you never came back,i walked over shattered glass, walked under the rain,i walked far, i walked a long time,i walked alone.

I became a ghost, i became the rain and the wind, just to make you smile,then you vanished.


Now,just a faded picture of you,a lock of your hair,a letter written by your hand,the scent of earth after the rain.

A ghostly shape,far away,in my memory.

The world,now,seem so empty,our room, deserted, is now cold,my hand empty of yours,the silence filling my ears, my eyes cannot see your smile anymore.

i wear your long black coat,and your scarf,like somes wear a smile.

I am here, sitting on that bench in the rain, talking to myself, trying to remember your voice,watching the world around me, watching people, good and bad,wondering why it ended.

My heart is filled with needles, my throat hurt, my chest is so painful.

As i sit,in front of your grave.

I love you.




Sorry dont know where to put this

Thank You, i have been personally moved by your poem.
At first i thought you were going towards a breakup/divorce in the poem.
It didn't go in the direction i thought it would.


Have you lost someone personally?

Yes.

Lost the only girl i loved dearly,14 years ago.
and still hurt tonight

You're either talking about me.... or a lost relative?

I'd like to think it was me, but I figure you've lost someone close to you.
Time really does lessen the pain. It never goes away, you just learn to make room for it.

Very moving words, well written, and I despise poetry.

ETA- just read your post above.
I can relate, which is why I could relate to your words. I'm sorry for your loss.

reply to post by AnonyWarp


Im terribly sorry to hear that.

reply to post by shaneslaughta


dont be sorry sincerely, i just needed to share my feelings.
ITs just , tonight is a similar night, when it happened 14 years ago.
Time is senced to be a good painkiller, but it failed me.

reply to post by AnonyWarp


Absolutely beautiful and heartfelt.

Sorry for your loss.

People always say time will heal your pain, but I call bull. As time goes on my pain has gotten worse.

Maybe for some people time heals their pain, but as for me, it hasn't.

I hope you heal in your own time. Poems usually go in the short story forum. I'm sure this forum is fine.

Peace and love to you
-nat in a sorrow filled hat-

reply to post by AnonyWarp


S & F

Very touching.
I'd consider asking a mod to post in the writers forum.
It's a touching poem.

Words can hardly express how sorry I am for your loss.

A masked man







The night is soft like cat fur,he is walkin, wearing a smile on his face, his eyes full of tears,holding a bouquet of roses in his hands.

His lips forming a simple smile saying "forgive me".
His eyes ,devoid of light ,watching the empty streets.

He walk, holding his bouquet, like somes could hold a diamond, preciously.
He is chasing his memory,haunting a house full of ghosts, where only one is missing.

He is not really here anymore, but you saw him wandering the streets,you saw him,vanishing when the sun rise.

You saw him,sitting in the park,his hands covering his face, crying bitter tears.

You saw him , but he cant see you.

In advance, my apologies.
I dont want to ruin your caring words,i just need to post my poems to you, at least i feel less alone when i do.

Originally posted by AnonyWarp
A masked man







The night is soft like cat fur,he is walkin, wearing a smile on his face, his eyes full of tears,holding a bouquet of roses in his hands.

His lips forming a simple smile saying "forgive me".
His eyes ,devoid of light ,watching the empty streets.

He walk, holding his bouquet, like somes could hold a diamond, preciously.
He is chasing his memory,haunting a house full of ghosts, where only one is missing.

He is not really here anymore, but you saw him wandering the streets,you saw him,vanishing when the sun rise.

You saw him,sitting in the park,his hands covering his face, crying bitter tears.

You saw him , but he cant see you.

These are really good! You should put them in the short stories forum for real. I have my poetry there.

Peace and love
Nat the rat

You write wonderfully!

Originally posted by natalia

People always say time will heal your pain, but I call bull. As time goes on my pain has gotten worse.

Oh, I carried the torch for my high school sweetheart for years. Every time I'd remember her it would make my heart ache. So, many years later [13 to be exact] we hooked up. We had a blast for about a week and I found out she also carried a torch for me all those years. We made a real mess of our lives afterwards though. Too many private details to go into but the long and the short of it is now we are just good friends.

When I think back about those times that used to make my heart ache now I get a much warmer feeling of closure and closeness because we are in contact and share in the joys of each others families, friends and new loves.

Good friends are hard to come by.

Originally posted by SLAYER69

Originally posted by natalia

People always say time will heal your pain, but I call bull. As time goes on my pain has gotten worse.

Oh, I carried the torch for my high school sweetheart for years. Every time I'd remember her it would make my heart ache. So, many years later [13 to be exact] we hooked up. We had a blast for about a week and I found out she also carried a torch for me all those years. We made a real mess of our lives afterwards though. Too many private details to go into but the long and the short of it is now we are just good friends.

When I think back about those times that used to make my heart ache now I get a much warmer feeling of closure and closeness because we are in contact and share in the joys of each others families, friends and new loves.

Good friends are hard to come by.

My loss wasn't over a 'love' though.

Good friends are very hard to come by. I don't have many, I'm such a recluse.

Thanks for sharing your story.
~nat the cat~

Our story?
We met when we were young, we loved each others like it was the last day on earth.
The life decided to make her sleep forever.

I was her only family,she was my only family.

Only me and the priest attended her funerals.

since,i cant heal.

Sorry for your loss buddy.
I lost my first son 18 years ago and still find myself wandering down the where would he be now road. If my 2nd son and daughter are anything to go by he'd of been a joy to be around, so I just allow myself that thought.
Kinda like to think he's looking after his old man from beyond.
Angels on your pillow my friend

Real sorry for your loss. I have a habit of loosing everything i ever loved. Im sure im cursed. But the good fight has to carry on. We all have to keep marching up that hill of hope. May you march well my friend

Originally posted by TheDoctor46
Real sorry for your loss. I have a habit of loosing everything i ever loved. Im sure im cursed. But the good fight has to carry on. We all have to keep marching up that hill of hope. May you march well my friend

Well said my friend, if I may ?
.............. and straight and true.
I'll remove it if you are offended in any way at me attatching to your post

reply to post by cody599


No its fine cody. No worries my friend. Lifes a big test,. And some get tested more than others. A shame it always seems to happen to the good people

If only somebody loved me that much.

Absolutely beautiful. What a lucky person, I hope they knew how lucky they were.