Good Monday Morning ATS, All I can say this a.m. Is 'Holy Freaking cow!!! I go on here on friday I create a rant for ME by ME for a venting of MY
problems dealing with three drug addcited step-sons. Just a rant, just FOR ME to blow off the steam that builds up within dealing with all this.
I found out what I allready knew. More folks than not on here have dealt with this situation in one way or the other. Either other parents and family
or recovering addicts them selves. I applaud all of you who have overcame your dependence on drugs/alcohol.
I will now try ro clear up a few things in my thread. First & foremost . My wife is not now nor never has been a drug addict. I miss-spelled Nar Anon
by typeing Narc-A-non. So sorry for that confusion, it caused arguements within the thread, My bad on that one. I prefer not to go to the meetings,
She needs them more than I. She's my wife, I stand by her side.Allways.
The sons. Oldest we have damn bear zero contact with.. Prioer to him leaving for college, he was a straight A student. After about a year you could
tell something was changing. After about two years the contact was cut off by the son, not us. A letter from N.C State University gave us the news
he was no longer inrolled in school. My wife is an alumni of N.C State she made a call or two and we began to undertstand the downward spiral.
Realize this child does not live with us and has not in 5 years. His problems are completely seperate from the other two. We tried to visit, we tried
to get him back in school, we tried all we knew to do. when we learned about the drugs it was a real big shock, especialliy this kid. The oldest is
the last one we found out about, seems as the brothers knew and keep it silent. A conspiarcy of silence is what we dealt with between the three.
Basicly the two younger ones gave up their brother when the addcition light was shined on them.
Middle child. Two years younger than my blood son. They meet each other thru another friend, then they became friends then introduced me to my now
wife. We have been together ever since. We put up with all the basic 14 & 16 year old boy shat. Weed, drinking, girls. Maybe not in that exact order.
When they hit the older ages of their teen years, they started to drift apart. My son would tell me his brother was hanging out with the wrong folks.
He slowly pullled out of hanging with his brother and became his own man. Middle kid moves out at 19, married less than a year later. He got married
and BAM kid on the way. That baby died in the arms of my stepson at Duke Medical center, a result of underdeveloped lungs. He lived less than 24 hrs.
This is when the drug use became public knowledge to us, the parents.....Can't say the drug use caused the death, but it sure as hell did'nt help.
My thinking then was that episode would either bring about change or they would go even futher. They went further into the drug use. Their child is
taken care of by her mother & sister most of the time. I'm unsure if they have some custody agreement or not. I think they do. So the child is being
taken care of by two good people. I know them and they are where we are with the situation.
Last child, When he went thru puberty at around 14, the change was as dramatic as any I had ever seen. Started to slip off with " friends" that
sometimes we never meet. Then the trouble. stealing folks checks, bad check charges, forgery. This was around 15 & 16. A whole list of stuff from 16
to 18 & 19. In and out of court. Then 18 to 20. According to him is when the drugs started to get bad. We find that he's been shooting up
coc aine since he was 18. We found out April last year. He was living with us then. Right under our nose. Shooting in the bathroom. Outside in
the yard. One particular night he simple keeled over right at the dinner table and had a full blown seizure right there in the floor. I thought the
boy was going to die in my arms.
Stayed with him all that night in the hospital, he had taken some one else's prescription meds and "took to much" as he said. Next episode, I
m called by my bio daughter at 4:30 am that last child is at her house all sorts of messed up. The police had brought him to her house as he was
walking thru her heighborhood in the middle of the night going door to door asking for a damn cigarette. Older couple called the cops as they
recognized he was doped up on something. In retro spect that cop should have taken him to jail. Lucky he did'nt get shot.
My wife & I are normal people. We don't do drugs nor have we ever. WE have done th ere-habs, the groups, the doctors. the anti do drug drugs. The
enableing stops and we feel it's the only option we have left. The cutting of the ties. Thanks for all who u2u'd me with the words of support. Thanks
to ALL who replied, Thanks to Ergo & Santa. Well spoken advocates of your beleifs. I admire folks like you.. ( * retirednature* I await your
edit on 4-2-2013 by openyourmind1262 because: (no reason given)