posted on Feb, 1 2013 @ 08:34 PM
My little brother battled with drug addiction for years, what finally allowed him to get clean was a job opportunity in another state away from his
normal stomping grounds. This offer was provided by a family member, who helped him make the transition with little to no out of pocket expense.
Addicts can't say no when the opportunity is there, unless they have the support of friends and family, people who want to see them get better.
Throwing an addict out on the street is only going to make the matter worse. Tough love is not the same as no love. Tough love is saying what needs
to be said, and doing everything in your power to get the addict in the right direction. You cant just disown someone and call it tough love, it
doesnt work like that.
Tough love is being 100% clear on what the problem is and not sugar coating it. Addicts are addicts and they need to be constantly reminded of this.
They are not fine, they can not make it work, and tough love means you have to keep them in check. Dont put yourself in a situation to be taken
advantage of, while still providing options they can use to better themselves.
To the OP, I fully feel where you are coming from, i have been there many times with my brother. There were times when i wanted to beat him to a pulp
thinking that would somehow magically make him think straight, but you and I both know that will only cause resentment and additional hardship for
everyone involved, including your wife.
Keep calling, keep writing letters, keep being the voice of reason. Don't be a dick, just be firm and consistent. It will sink in, and one of these
days they will try something different and it could just be the thing that allows them to get out of the slump they are currently in.
If you and your wife give up and disown her children, are you sure you will have zero regrets on your death bed? Something to think about.