Dark Night of the Soul took some of my talents. Can I get them back?

reply to post by dominicus


What is the soul my friend? Do you see why so many are eluded as to stories of the rapture, or a great cleansing of the spirit? Too many seem to miss the difference between the soul and the self. It is entirely possible there are those that have experienced the so called rapture through out the ages, unfortunately everyone seems to be misinformed as far as the body, the mind, and the soul.

Take from that what you will.

Now, if you want another opinion, I used to be quite artistic myself. Music, poetry, writing, I did it just because. I never took it overly seriously, but it was just something I was good at. I've been told all my life, I should be a writer, or that I'm " Oh so talented." In the last few years, this has all but left me. I can regurgitate stories, music, recite a million lines from a million songs and poems, but I can not for the life of me write my own. I too suffer from depression, and anxiety most of which is linked to PTSD, how ever I can't help feel that a part of me so many others held so highly has died. I never recognized what I had, or appreciated the abilities that came to me so easily and unfortunately they feel as if they are lost to the winds. I still play guitar and piano, I still sing songs, but I can not write my own. I've picked up my pen to write in my journal, and can't do much more than muster a few words about what I ate, or how #ty I slept. The art of words is lost on me these days, and I'm not sure when or if I will get back what I had. My creativity is gone, at what cause I know not. Could be the things I've experienced in my life, it could be something else.

They say Art is a reflection of our lives. Perhaps, your art is lost because of the dissatisfaction in your life. Depression, can have a number of consequences, and perhaps you are looking too deeply or not deep enough for the cause. I ask you this, have you been living? I mean really living, do not take this as a reason to be depressed but rather embrace what has been said and start from the beginning. Go for a walk, lay with your significant other, or even a stranger. Find the meaning of your life once more, and if it is art that is your life, work your way towards it. Eat a piece of fruit, pay attention to the things we so often deem insignificant in this fast paced modern world. Our muse is not always easy to recognize and it can often at times be even easier to lose sight of. When looking for answers in the self, look to the world and seek out your reflection.

Sincerely,

Jinx

reply to post by dominicus


I too was once a professional artist and my work had soul, a vibrancy and passion that even surprised me. My muse was alcohol and when I quit drinking my art became stale and banal. My solution was a drastic change to a completely unfamiliar media that required a team to create the finished product. Film making, acting, directing, writing. The passion is back stronger than ever; the interaction with other creative, crazy, passionate, experimental people was all it took for me.

I suffered the Dark Night for years in denial. Good Luck!!

Originally posted by dominicus
I used to do music and art for a living about a decade ago, before all the Spiritual Experiences began to happen. Eventually I went through a 3-4 year Dark Night of the Soul. When it ended, I was left in a state of Detachment, Dispassion, and Equanimity, amongst other things like glimpses of an Absolute state where there is no 'I', etc.

What seems to have gone with the Dark Night is all the talent and Fire I once had and was able to make a living out of. I now again have various lucrative opportunities in the Artistic fields, but it feels like the artist in me is dead. The fire and motivation is no longer there. Everything, besides a regular 9 to 5 and as much time possible for "practice" seems to be pointless and illusion based temptation. (The Buddha's 10,000 things)

I reckon I can still do the "art", however there is no "soul or oomph" to it like there used to be...... it's like dead/mechanical/just being done to be done

I'm just wondering if it's at all possible to regain those artistic and fiery aspects of myself that were once there prior to the Dark Night?

Oh yeah, and I'm aware that there will be various biased definitions of "Dark Night" which has become a commercialized slang term. What I;m referring to was a Spiritual Mystical Dark Night which makes regular depression look like a carnival ride or a winning lotto ticket.

Thanks .......

edit on 28-1-2013 by dominicus because: (no reason given)

Same occurred to me. I was an artist/painter in school, and considered to be a sort of prodigy in this regard. It was the thing I was known for, so after a similar experience to yours it was a difficult realization that I no longer had the desire to paint. I knew I could still do it, but I didn't have the desire to anymore.

I've since realized that one reason this happened to me was so I wouldn't become attached to particular aspects of my identity. When I let go of my painting self, I discovered that I knew how to play instruments and compose music, which is what I currently do.

So don't worry about what you may have "lost" or what you don't have. Move forward, there is something new awaiting you.

I've known that feeling. The art thing comes and goes. (I almost think for some people that it has to though.)

I'll throw my hat in the ring to suggest some crazy creativity restoring ideas. Loose cannon or wildcard way of doing things. Some might consider them risky though, because they could risk your reputation - particularly if you normally draw a certain kind of audience which could easily take offense. (I don't seem to have that luxury or burden. Something you'll have to weigh for yourself.)

Sometimes the will to produce art drops because there's no buttons being pushed. No pressure. Got to have something that makes you rage in some way to stoke that furnace powering your creative engine. If that happens and it lights off for some reason, then BAM! You can be in the zone like that! Just be careful that you don't become unhinged if ranting hard or climbing high on that soapbox. (If you're not easily angered, there's another madness that works on this mechanism. It can also be something that drives elation instead of rage, find something that really makes you laugh hysterically and delve into depicting that.)

Other times I find it's a thing of balance. Work might be getting too serious. Not that serious work can't be fun, but sometimes you find you're tottering too far one way and it becomes boring. Same ol' same ol'. It's monotony that's killing the urge. If you feel this is the case, then force yourself to apply your skill in the opposite direction. (Doesn't mean you have to make it public, private sketch books are great for this.) If you've always made art that is soulful, spiritual, uplifting, nice, chaste, cute, pretty, intellectual or whatever of that sort, then you have to go against it. Make something crass, rude, raunchy, insipid, insulting, creepy, derogatory, ugly, horrid, dark, spiteful even. Let the total "crap" flow. Sounds ridiculous, but it's something to try. Then later on you can look back, and ponder "what the heck have I done?" (If kept private nobody else needs to know. The goal of this isn't to upset people, even if it does risk touching on "the dark side". It's supposed to be cathartic, provided you don't happen to enjoy and get caught up in it. Keep in mind there is that risk.) All while doing this, your talent is still kept up. And then once you feel the balance has shifted enough other way, go back to doing the other thing you've been doing. In turn you might find it refreshing again. Why such a suggestion? No light without dark, no hot without cold, no yin without yang, etc. you know the spiel. Sometimes it's that contrast or difference that churns things up and gets the mojo to flow.

Keep in mind if the above sounds stupid because dark is the way you usually go... Try the light things instead. (Instead of the destroyer of worlds on throne of skulls with mushroom clouds, gore, and other bleak and gothic "doom porn", do fluffy bunnies and rainbows and such. Or maybe skirting the bounds chaotically with contrarian depictions of the fluffy bunny as the destroyer of worlds with skulls and rainbows awakens the inner artist?)

Then again I don't mind occasionally trying some crazy artist things. (I'm easily bored at times just as much as easily amused.) Artistry tends to be an individual pursuit and my suggestions might be complete crap in your case. Only one way to find out though.

reply to post by dominicus


Dominicus, I decided to not go past your initial post because I didn't care to see the "keep chipper" posts that would inevitably follow. Yes, I 100% get it. Note my signature. Enlightenment was a choice to save my ego during a particularly awful time for me. Now it can't be undone for the benefit of my Ego, but not just that...One must have Ego to make a serious living anymore. God Save me from my lack of passion.

Be Well friend, I get it, I get it so hardcore, that I could cry sometimes.

reply to post by Epirus


Wow and I've met her on no less than 4 occasions, we even had an hour just to swap stories. Thanks for that. She's now known as Alexander Michael, and has gone from female to male transgender, an exceptionally deep and difficult choice in life in general. Lots of time and reflection involved in that.

reply to post by dominicus


sorry to hear about your current situation. I will try to offer some simple advice here which I reckon you have mostly tried, but i might be wrong:

dig out all your old art work, even unfinished pieces, books, albums (music) and other artists work that inspired you for examples, go through them slowly piece at a time and highlight the positives. Make notes of any unfinished ideas, note any ideas that spring to mind. Make notes on what was not working well and try to find a solution. Take a camera with you 24/7. Capture anything that speaks to you while outside or even inside. Walks to your favourite areas and new paths will help.

What do you love in life? What inspires you? What havent you tried that you said you would do in the past?
Bring all the elements together and start to build a new future list. You will then hopefully come across a book(s), cd's, your new photos, new people you met, etc etc and find that you now have plenty to start with.

Sometimes working alongside another artist (be it working together or on your own) helps inspire you and drive you more. These are the simple things i do to help me create art, art that i can be proud of. Your inner passion can be sparked, re born from one simple thing. And you will find it, just don't stop looking.

i've been unemployed for 3 years now, have a 3 year old son, and my partner is finally getting out of massive depression. I will still find time to enter my shed/studio and paint. i surround myself with the ideas collected and hang the photos/pictures around me. I play the music, only tracks that generate creative feelings, i scan books for my favourite parts (when reading underline the best bits) i hope i have mentioned something that you havent tried out.
i'm slowly becoming more recongised and only had a few solo/group shows my whole life, i desire to make a full time living out of my paintings and to succeed more, and i will never quit, i truely believe my art will be world wide known and featured among the greats some day (most likely after my death) I hope u felt that before and will feel the same also again. I miss painting with others the most (my uni days) and people making positive and negative comments. I would love to see your artwork?? Whats the website? If you wanna check mine out let me know. Zidane Little is my artist name. All the best to you in finding the passion and drive once again. Leave the house now and go for a nice walk or bike ride with a camera.

reply to post by pauljs75


great advice shown/highlighted here also. I wish i had read all the comments now before posting my main comment.

reply to post by dominicus


Dear Dominicus,

Unaware of all said by others reacting to your post, I add, that in my own experiences of this state and from the ancient texts I study for my personal growth and awakening, I can advise to following:

There is many a way for you to live now and contemplating your way ahead will certainly be in your hands...though making a decision and acting on it, is crucial, whatever the decision may be.

The texts advise that real living starts when you accept the illusionary state of this "reality" and live 100% IN it...as well as being fully aware of the fact that it IS an illusion.

By above, what is important is not to replace one illusion, this world, with another, your mind and "thinking" you are enlightened and wallowing in it...as this state is just another illusion without input from "outside" and a serious lack of joy, besides being fully one-sided of course (meaning "you" are negating the presence of a whole lot of IS'ness).

I do not know enough of your growth and perceived enlightenment to comment much further, though do advise that doing art, in my understanding and sense, has to do with being able to sense the divine and bring that into the awareness of our mortality, being able to translate the divine into the mortal...being able to be both in the divine and mortal state at once.

You get lost in this world of illusion and then find yourself...then go on repeating this with seemingly no end...however...due to being aware of being aware of this happening, your beingness raises in the quality of its "awake" state...and being joyful, for me, has been a consequence, rather than an effort.

Regards,

BBoldBUrself

Balance
Mystery
Growth
Rebellion
Love

Those are the things that drive creativity. Creating is also an inner process. Go back to your roots and heal. It's there my friend... also, don't let others to define you and to control you.

reply to post by dominicus


We get so addicted to the light that when we return to darkness we think it is the darkness which signifies the suffering when it was the addiction to the light.

The fire/passion was there - it was just an experience.
Now it is not - this is just an experience.

"This" does not feel bad unless you compare it to "that".

If you get addicted to "that" and hope that it'll always stay, you'll suffer when it fades away (like all things do in this physical world).

The Spirit/Ego/Light-Body always want to "cling" - to something - to someone - to a hobby - to an idea - to a perspective - to a concept.

The Soul/Darkness is just taking the experience in and letting it go as it passes. The darkness seems like death, but it is through IT that "life" is allowed to come and go.

Originally posted by HelenConway
reply to post by Stormdancer777

 

I think it is because I came out of it with out my 'protection' so to speak, which means I find it really hard to be around people for any length of time if they have really mixed up energies, it makes me feel physically sick.

Also I cry for the earth and her innocent creatures - I know that sounds corny and trite but it is true. It breaks my heart when I see and feel the lack of sensitivity and kindness that is prevalent. The casual cruelty. I have a very strong connection to the earth and her animals .. it makes me despair sometimes

, to the point where as my connection or empathy has increased, my ' faith' has diminished. Hard to explain.

edit on 30-1-2013 by HelenConway because: (no reason given)

I understand completely.

So many people go through life with blinders on, it has always been difficult for me to find joy when all around me is suffering,

reply to post by dominicus

What turned me off before, is that I felt like a mastered a high degree of art and was working with famous people. Then the Mystical experiences began and I took a year off. After that, I could just never do my craft again. I was empty.

I would like that oomph back because I have golden opportunities staring me in my face right now. One's which I passed up before and regretted are now back and open to me

I have been thinking about you a lot, and this specific response seems to be the most telling.

I remember the ecstatic highs of mystical awakenings, nothing can compare to it.

We go through phases, and life cycles, nothing stays the same, there are changes, yet there are changes.

I have been a craft-person all my life and have went from one artistic venue to another.

The passion just changes, for years I have made jewelery, wearable art, and I make it with reiki energy, using semi precious stones and crystals

One thing I notice is the passion is there when the money isn't, say I am making a gift,

So I say giving a lot back will open up channels of creativity, and not always in the area you think.

Oh and have you read the book the artist way?

www.amazon.com...

I am going to go find my copy myself, I been a little off lately,

lol well I have always been a little off.

Dark Night of the Soul took some of my talents.

They are not gone, they are waiting to be expressed in a different way,

I don't have a great deal to add (part of my own "rememberance" of self was the wonderful realization that I don't know it all), but I did find the posts by BBoldBUrself, BrandonD, Bearplane, Advantage and sylvie to ring true for me.

I also found something interesting in the link posted by BlueMule:

The Dark Night, then, is really a deeply human process, in which the self which thought itself so spiritual, so firmly established upon the supersensual plane, is forced to turn back, to leave the Light, and pick up those qualities which it had left behind. Only thus, by the transmutation of the whole man, not by a careful and departmental cultivation of that which we like to call his “spiritual” side, can Divine Humanity be formed: and the formation of Divine Humanity—the remaking of man “according to the pattern showed him in the mount”—is the mystic’s only certain ladder to the Real… The self in its first purgation has cleansed the mirror of perception; hence, in its illuminated life, has seen Reality. In so doing it has transcended the normal perceptive powers of “natural” man, immersed in the illusions of sense. Now, it has got to be reality: a very different thing.