posted on Jan, 26 2013 @ 11:56 PM
This is a multi-purpose thread. Of course, it will broaden your cultural boundaries. Having seen one or more of these will make you an entirely
different person. Or, you might even just smile at the titles.
Out of consideration, I will not furnish the links in public, but I will in private, or you can find them through fairly easy searches.
To be selected, a film must not have been a catoon or anything else not using human actors. It couldn't be a music video or a story about a band,
and it had to be movie length (at least 40 minutes). If it's in quotes, it's a movie title.
This may become a cultural repository, please add your own.
First off, dealing with a perennial favorite on ATS, zombies, we have "Cannibal Campout." And who shows up at these? Members of the "Hillbilly
Cannibal Bloodline." Sometimes they are joined by "Bloodsucking Nazi Zombies." When the bloodsuckers show up, they usually invite some vampires,
but children are not allowed. After all, "Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things." Sometimes, too, adult conversations take place such as "Is
There Sex After Death?"
The only thing they worry about at these events is the appearance of "Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter." This is not just any Jesus Christ, this is
"Ultrachrist." No, wait, there is one other thing. As with many other Western campouts, beans are a staple at the meals. Then they have to watch
out for "The Human Vapor." If you need to know the results of that, just watch "F.A.R.T. The Movie." But that's not all they have to eat, there
is also "Blood of Ghastly Horror," always a big favorite.
Vampires and zombies are not the only creatures seen, by our unenlightened society, as monsters. "The Giant Behemoth" is a special case. You are
no doubt acquainted with small behemoths, or tiny behemoths. This is a big one. There is individual initiative as well. Why do you have to travel
to a castle when there is "Creep Creepersin's Frankenstein" much closer? Do you remember the nightmares you used to have at summer camp? Well,
"Monstroid: It Came from the Lake" is why. And not every monster has to be traditional. A favorite is "The Cars That Ate Paris."
Of course, movies often use women as an attraction for certain audiences, and these films are no exception. Some of you men may have had problems
with a messy divorce, or even just a ridiculously expensive date. For you, there is "The Leech Woman." And if you are interested in a woman who
has a secret life, we have "Frankenstein's Great Aunt Tillie." The literary among you may prefer "Siberian Lady Macbeth," while the cruder among
you might prefer "Bitchslap Catfighting She Babes." In any event, sex is always a big seller, so you might want to consider "Sins of the
Fleshapoids," or "Invasion of the Bee Girls."
Some films are geared especially to ATS members. Such hits as "Fat Stupid Rabbit," and "Peter Rottentail." (Sorry, I couldn't resist.) And for
the membership in general, we have "Aspiring Psychopath." There are a few members who don't join in the rush towards mental illness, for them
there is "Screaming for Sanity." Be aware, however that that might be counter-productive.
Unfortunately, crime and occasionally brutal policing can affect our lives. "Holla if You Hear Me Kill You," provides valuable advice, but I hope
you don't get "Dirty Cop No Donut" to investigate. He'll be there to look things over as soon as he's done with "Donald and Dot Clock Found
Dead in their Home."
You may think you have bad luck but what about those in "Tombs of the Blind Dead?" Blind and dead? That's tough. What makes it worse is "I Spit
Chew on Your Grave." You can't even push up daisies, they won't grow through that.
Sure those films seem pretty bad, but wait until you see "Worst Horror Movie Ever Made: The Remake." Remember that sequels are supposed to be worse
than the original? This one is.
But if your spirits are down, you can get a real lift by watching "Scrooge's Rock n' Roll Christmas." It's a favorite among, well, I don't know
who exactly. Would Scrooge do well in a duet with Elvis?
Again, please add your own. It would be a valuable service.