To readers: I started writing this post BEFORE I read Wrabbit's post…So don't accuse me of just adding some more to fit his description of the
third type of people the CIA look for.
I'm not saying you are completely egotistical in the negative sense, but your self-assessment is written in glowing terms. So you at least admire
I disagree. At a vocal level, I am somewhat conceited.
On an internal level though I am quite unhappy with myself.
A couple of questions:
+ Where did you get your money? Did you inherit it or earn it?
Money has been earned from jobs ranging from Lifeguard to drug dealer.
Most of my life I have been supported by my parents who are multi millionaires. I have not been showered with cars, but with the opportunity to travel
around the world multiple times.
+ How do you know, for certain, that you are being monitored?
Monitoring has been noticed by me and admitted by my parents. I have spent a good amount of time in places where structure has been the norm and there
has always been 'staff' around to hear all and every conversation no matter where you are.
Things that should have been kept private, due to location, have been indirectly referenced (via the theme) of conversations with others.
+ Given all your abilities, what have you actually accomplished that is noteworthy?
I have accomplished nothing noteworthy at this point in time. Many may be familiar with my academic, athletic and social accomplishments, but if the
audience was spread to even just a state-wide population then I would not be seen as above average.
Most of what y'all have said, in validation, has rung true to me. Especially the comments about intelligence and unhappiness because of it.
I have an analytical mind that will dissect situations whether I decide to or not. At first, my stressed lifestyle brought me to conclude that my
analytical results were only true when they had a bad outcome, for me personally. In the past couple years though I have simply noticed every
possibility in social interactions & have not taken a course of action based on just one. If anything it has made me more aware, and sometimes
thoughts in an original encounter come up again later; sometimes things happen and I think "I thought about this happening specifically"...along with
about X other possibilities.
It has been very difficult being so analytical; If anything it has brought me to be unable to relate to those that I consider non-enlightened plus
(key word: plus) without significant potential.
In reply to Wrabbit's post.
I would agree that I am the third type, but only by learning. I think at one point I was offensive and did not realize it until after. That has
changed, but I still can be offensive when I want to as I can easily disconnect.
I would agree that I tailor situations after reading signs, etc.
It is very easy for me to read the signs & tailor myself and the conversation so the other person is happy, impressed, etc. it is almost natural to
manipulate others into anything.
For ex: My dad and me were discussing gun control.
Instead of making the points myself I pretended to be curious (but no knowledgable) regarding the downfall of the US economy.
I had him make the points (that I would make myself) through his own words, then related it to our current situation with gun control; Obviously this
went in the direction I wanted to it, but it was easy for me to manipulate him into actually supporting the cause when he previously was totally in
agreement with gun control.
He still is 'for' the ban, but I was able to open his mind by allowing him to think he came up with stuff on his own.
That is just one form of manipulation, but it's naturalness scares me.
lying is quite easy.
I often think "this can be good, but if I was on the other side I may be the worst person the world would see." Maybe that's conceited and
exaggerated, but I think it's just another display of how there are polar opposites & that's what leads me to my desire to understand myself more.
edit on 26-1-2013 by Ghostx because: Disclaimer concerning Wrabbit's post + my reply