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Originally posted by forall2see
reply to post by PacificBlue
I have always hoped that one day a light bulb would go off in her head and she would realize that I am there for her and not against her. It truly feels as if she is constantly feeling that what I do and or say is some type of insult towards her. I have been questioned over the silliest things. When I have attempted to make light of a situation it almost always seems to backfire.
All of my experience in the relationship has left me feeling less and less confident of us ever working towards any type of mutual compromise or resolve.
Really feels crappy when you finally feel comfortable giving your all to someone and feel nothing in return. Not saying there haven't been some of those times, but very few and far between to say the least. And even those seem to be brought up later on and made into something completely negative.
For me personally, I have always chosen to see the positive aspects of things, even negative things once I have the time to process them. I have even justified this relationship by telling myself that I could better myself in humility and navigate conflict more successfully. That's not the actual case though. Being someone else's supply of justification is not ok.
In the grand scheme of things, I have felt ashamed for allowing myself to stay in this situation as long as I have. I have set clear boundaries, only to give in to feelings of loneliness coupled with her manipulative sense of being. That is not ok either, as I am truly a man who only wants contentment in his relationship.... I dont feel that fat and happy with her... Instead I feel like im on a crumbling bridge, struggling to either fix it, or get the heck off, lol!