posted on Jan, 23 2013 @ 01:20 PM
reply to post by forall2see
Its very hard man I have gone through it all of my life pushing away the people who loved me the most without even realizing it, until she recognizes
that she has a problem like I did and wants to actually work on and fix the problem then things will be horrible for you and her and you will break up
anyways. I have had SO many relationships but mainly because I had to find the right person that can cope with my problems and both of us be happy at
the same time.
Some advice on how to approach her because it seems she gets defensive when you do is DO NOT approach her about it when you have had any issues
recently, make sure you had had a great day, then at the end of the day just tel her that you need to talk about something very important with her and
that you want her to listen to what you have to say and not get upset, make sure you do not use negative tones with her.. For me Tones of voice sets
me off more then anything, do not talk down to her that is another big thing.
Tell her exactly how you feel and tell her that you love her, you do not want to leave her but she is pushing you into a corner. You realize that she
has problems and you are willing to work with her but only if she is going to accept that she has issues and is willing to either get help or talk to
you and work out how to make things better.
I don't think the answer is always meds most of the time that makes things worse not better, for one my sex drive went to 0 and likely hers will to
and she will not want to have sex with you or be physical with you so that is likely a bad thing. Also she will likely have less mood swings but its
because she really wont have mood swings at all she will just be level all the time or down she will not be upbeat and happy like a "normal" person
so getting her on meds you may in fact end up not liking her even more then off meds.
She obviously has some abandonment issues and jealousy problems and I have the same things, I get jealous easy and I have abandonment issues because I
push people away and they leave then I feel like they left me but really it was my fault.. She needs to know that you aren't leaving her for the
greener grass, and straight out tell her look if I didn't want to be with you I wouldn't be here I don't have to be here I am not going to cheat on
you and just becasue I talk to someone doesn't mean anything.
Sometimes when I get angry with my gf I don't want her to touch me at all and sometimes it helps but usually I just need some time maybe you could
just say to her that you will go in the other room and give her some time to calm down and whenever she is ready you can talk or if she wants to
cuddle to let you know. I am surprised that she would not want to be touched because most women are all about physically being soothed with hugging
and whatnot (not sex never try to do sex to make her "feel better") if she was a guy maybe, but for a girl she isn't going to be down for that
unless she is a nympho like my GF then maybe because she wants me to bang her at any given time and if I did that more probably life would be easier
lol but I am getting old I can only go so far these days :d
Thats some more advice from me, without knowing more about her or her in general its hard to give more advice but you can u2u me if you have any
If you can afford it I would suggest doing a couples counsiling and I am sure that it would help things maybe having a 3rd party present. If you bring
it up I would suggest it more of something like you need it not you think she needs it. Like that its hard for you to communicate and you need someone
to help you or something along those lines.