Hello fellow members of ATS, and thank you for taking the time to hear me out. To be quite honest, I am sort of embarrassed to make a thread on this
topic. However, I would like some feedback pertaining to my current situation. So I'll get started...
I have been struggling with the idea of leaving my girlfriend. We have been together since November, 2011. In the beginning we hit it off quite
well and during the time our relationship was still new, I had the feeling that this was the woman that I wanted to share the rest of my life with.
I believe my girlfriend suffers from some sort of paranoia based personality disorder, such as Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Borderline
Personality, Bi-polar... I cannot really tell if it's just one of, or maybe a combination of them. I just know that something is not right about the
way she reacts to the smallest things, and how heavily she emphasizes that so many feelings she has are somehow a result of my actions.
For example. Last weekend we all traveled to a local WalMart for her to see an optometrist and get a new prescription for her contacts. During her
exam I hung out with our kids (My daughter who is 10, and her son who is 4). Everything seemed to be going well. We purchased a 6 month supply of
her new prescription and then proceeded towards the door. This is where it gets interesting, and is merely an example of what I have been
experiencing during our relationship...
As we are walking towards the exit, she mentions that we need to get some laundry detergent. In response, I asked if we should just get it at the
store since we were in there. She instantly turns to me with a scowling look and asks why I am being so short with her, lol... I said, " I'm not
being short with you babe. I just asked if you would prefer to just grab laundry soap while we are here." "Why wouldn't we??" she snapped back.
At this point I chose to simply let it go, and we proceeded to the laundry soap aisle.
When we got to the aisle and found the right detergent, she had asked me to grab a box of Gain detergent. Since there were 3 different scents, I
asked which one she would like me to grab. "This one!" she exclaims.. "I don't understand what your problem is right now!". Again... I simply
let it go, however she insisted at that point to tell our children that I was being short with her... Our children!! I then asked what was wrong and
got yelled at in the middle of WalMart.... For what exactly? Im not sure... Lol
Afterwards, when we had returned to the car, I asked if there was something we needed to talk about and got the same angry response as in the
store.... In front of our kids.... To the point where she insisted that I should just go home with my daughter and leave her and her son alone. She
went so far as to call me a d%ck in front of our children!
That's just an example of what I have been dealing with. Also, later that evening, we had gotten a sitter so that we could go to the casino for a
bit. During our time at the casino I was accused of "chatting it up" with a middle aged woman at a slot machine, and that I should just have fun
going about my night without her. I also received a text from a friend of mine that I went to high school with, saying that she saw us walking in as
they were leaving, and wanted to say hi, but didn't get the chance. Turns out... According to my girlfriend, that somehow I was flirting with the
girl that I have known for over 20 years because she had sent me a text message...
Later on in the weekend, I guess I made oatmeal for her son the wrong way, and somehow that ticked her off, and my saying sorry got me yelled at even
more, and asked to leave.... At which point I said fine... Ill just go home then.... At which point then I was preemptively accused of just leaving so
that I could go and party without her.... And that if I left it must mean that I don't care about her or our relationship. I slept on her couch that
night. In the morning I got up to go to work and said goodbye to her and let her know that I loved her... She asked why I was leaving so early...
Uhhh... I leave for work at the same time every day, lol!
As I rolled into work, I received a call from her wherein she apologized for "her part"... The thing about that is... I always get that same
apology, when in fact she decides to apologize, and quite frankly it has gotten to the point that an apology is worth nothing from her because it is
never backed up with any action.... The cycle just repeats itself and gets worse by the day.
Look... I have tried my darndest to approach her with my concerns regarding her anger and how it effects all of us. She just doesn't seem to get it.
And I am left sort of heartbroken knowing that I cannot allow myself to be treated as such, and especially not allow my children to grow up thinking
that relationships work in that way... They don't! I want my children to grow up honest, open minded, assertive, and seeking solutions rather than
focusing on others perceived weaknesses. My kids, btw have started talking at me the same way, which is a major reason why I am growing closer to
ending this relationship and no longer holding on to some sort of hope that things may change for the better.
So I ask, ATS... Have you or someone you know experienced something similar? Can you offer any advice?