So I was just diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome

Originally posted by TheToastmanCometh
Part of me curses myself for being born with such a disability, and wish it could have been caught earlier so I wouldn't be in such a predicament.

Don't worry - it's just as much of a blessing as it's a curse. And I've never, and never will, look at it as a disability.

Putting a name to it didn't change me, but I did find it very helpful, as I now understood a lot more on how and why I act the way I do.

Originally posted by NotAnAspie
Supposedly they like to be the center of attention

Eh... no.

Originally posted by CeeRZ
But it is societies fault for creating the image that we must all fit the mold. Be happy you don't.

To ceeRZ - your whole post - *applauds* But the sentences quoted above really pleased me... if they'd been in a book I would have highlighted them (as I do. Hahahaha!).

OP - I don't know how old you are - early 20ies maybe? But there's a post regarding how people dealt with later diagnosis, you might want to give it a read and realise it's not all doom and gloom. If I realise I'll be socialising with people on regular basis, I will always tell them. This makes the shock less in the future if I start acting odder than usual... hahahaha! www.abovetopsecret.com...

Everyone's different, dare I say 'unique' and Asperger's is just a label assigned to a certain personality type. If you bend over backwards trying to conform to someone else's version of 'normal' that's unnecessary suffering you'll be imposing on yourself. Just be yourself and you'll find your niche I say

Originally posted by skitzspiricy


Aspergers is the Polar opposite of Histrionic. In fact, the majority of people with Aspergers will go out of their way to not be the centre of attention.

Sure, and most Leos will go out of their way to be the center of attention.
While Cancers get attached really easily.
And Virgos will always be so analytic.
I am always frustrated by how stubborn Aries types always seem to be.



Forgive me if I put as much stock into psychology and psychiatry as I do astrology.

Originally posted by muzzleflash

Originally posted by skitzspiricy


Aspergers is the Polar opposite of Histrionic. In fact, the majority of people with Aspergers will go out of their way to not be the centre of attention.

Sure, and most Leos will go out of their way to be the center of attention.
While Cancers get attached really easily.
And Virgos will always be so analytic.
I am always frustrated by how stubborn Aries types always seem to be.

Forgive me if I put as much stock into psychology and psychiatry as I do astrology.

That's your choice and i respect that.

reply to post by TheToastmanCometh



Your worst move would be to let this label you or use it as an excuse. You're no different today than you were a week ago. My son has Aspergers, does great in school. He works at it, like any student learning new things and I would recommend the same to you. Life is hard enough without labels, don't let this one drag you down.

wow. my son supposedly has mild aspbergers, my father was explosive & diffrent, he was artistic & could grow anything ,but he dropped out of school in the 9th grade. back in the day they medicated with alcohol.
im 49 & I know i got issues so it stands to rights that my son has issues its sad cause hes 18 graduating this year &he got expelled for threating kids who were bulling him but myself ,i have something going on to.
im divorced & i know i had alot to contribute to the failure of the marriage, my exwife was very intense & orderly & there i was cold distant & always screwing up so im suprised that lasted 20 years but she couldnt take it anymore .
im currently living in fla with my girlfriend & she see's the distances in my eyes & she has to tell me to do things cause i dont offer first or dont think of them. yes the lazy & unmotivated & immature label has been put on me too.
im sorry i have caused so much pain for anybody that has had a relationship with me , be it my son my ex or my gf.
im not using it as an excuse but right now im pretty lost interms of my direction , but as long as my son is ok i can live with anything else life has to throw me .

reply to post by TheToastmanCometh


Don't beat yourself up about it Everyone has "something wrong" with them, whether they believe it or not. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at a young age I didn't let it stop me from being happy. Then I went to Afghanistan and Iraq during my years as a Marine, came back and I guess they say I have minor PTSD now. Oh well, I am still happy with my life, we only get to live it once, then we move on.

Keep your head up! Consider researching more about it; that will help you a lot in the long run.

reply to post by TheToastmanCometh


Hon, you sound normal to me, I have a son that after turning 12, went from a lovable beautiful child with honors to a completely different being from out of space.

To go back to become a lovable child and son after the end of his teen age years, he is now 26 and normal.

But, the end result was, no been able to finish school got a GED and his attempt to college failed miserably, I have from school problems, to have him on medications, mental evaluations, specialist, special schools and nothing worked until his body and mind found an equilibrium, now he is a hard worker and a wonderful person.

After all this years I am still scratching my head wondering what was wrong with him for about 7 years of his life, all he said is that during that time he felt like something was wrong with his body.

Is called puberty.

Im sure you will be fine and is nothing wrong with been diagnosed with something, at least you are, no specialist could find anything to tag my son with beside ADS in order to give him pills and his psychologist took him off of them because he said they were dangerous and not needed.

In this times and age is always something they can tag with you with. in order for you to reveice treatment.

Originally posted by marg6043
reply to post by TheToastmanCometh

 

Hon, you sound normal to me, I have a son that after turning 12, went from a lovable beautiful child with honors to a completely different being from out of space.

To go back to become a lovable child and son after the end of his teen age years, he is now 26 and normal.

But, the end result was, no been able to finish school got a GED and his attempt to college failed miserably, I have from school problems, to have him on medications, mental evaluations, specialist, special schools and nothing worked until his body and mind found an equilibrium, now he is a hard worker and a wonderful person.

After all this years I am still scratching my head wondering what was wrong with him for about 7 years of his life, all he said is that during that time he felt like something was wrong with his body.

Is called puberty.

Im sure you will be fine and is nothing wrong with been diagnosed with something, at least you are, no specialist could find anything to tag my son with beside ADS in order to give him pills and his psychologist took him off of them because he said they were dangerous and not needed.

In this times and age is always something they can tag with you with. in order for you to reveice treatment.

thank you , i hope he turns out the same way

reply to post by TheToastmanCometh


I honestly believe this thread! Whether true or not I can see this coming into fruition.

DEFIANT!!

I once told the principal when he was done yelling that I didn't pay any real attention to him because it didn't make any difference in the big picture. He wanted th know what the big picture was I told him LIFE and this is nothing. He gave me a week out because I refused to take the wacks. I went to Florida for 2 then when they asked where I was I told him 1 week wasn't enough fun in the sun. I think he hated me. Oh well

You have made it this far with the Asbergers without even knowing. Just carry on with life as normal you were doing fine before

Originally posted by Watchfull
Being 50 plus, I escaped the labelling, because, in those days, without diagnosis, we were just problem kids.

Still remember the word "DEFIANT" being used so regularly

Although I am eccentric (best way to describe it) I am me, and like yourself, the written words are finer than the spoken.

Life is what you make it, not what someone cares to label you with.

Very well put.

Here are some resources OP.

www.aspergers.com...

www.autism-society.org...

www.cnn.com...

You're in good company
www.asperger-syndrome.me.uk...

Learn to live with it productively and the sky's the limit.

The only problem I'm seeing is that the medical community seems hell-bent in labeling this as a disability. We all know why because we all know what comes after when the medical establishment labels something as a disease or disability. You don't have a disability OP. Because you don't fit in all that well with the majority of society, effectively bypassing the herd mentality, you and others like you have a leg up on the learning curve IMO.

Use it your advantage. Check your PM folder please.

Welcome to the club.

Those of us with Asperger's have always known that we were "different". If we didn't figure it out, our peer group would make sure that we knew.

In a sense, it is a disability. Those who dismiss it, or say that shrinks make the diagnosis just to put the patient on medication, do not really understand it and are just guessing.

I wasn't diagnosed until my late 40s. There IS NO MEDICATION for this. None is needed. However, if there are concurrent issues (anxiety disorders, bipolarism, etc), then meds are discussed.

Personally, I was thankful that there was finally a name to give my eccentricities.

It is a hereditary condition, a way of seeing the world and those who are in it, and a way of reacting to things. We are wired in a way that most people are not. It is only a "disability" in the sense that we have to live in a world in which most of the inhabitants are not like us.

My husband also has it. He went through his whole life not really knowing, and wondering why his marriages all fell apart. We understand each other, and we live an isolated existence. It's not that we don't like people, it's just that typical social interactions tend to get us into trouble if we hang out in the world for too long. We'll say or do something that make people scratch their heads and label us as weirdos.

I went through my whole life trying to cover it up, and I did well enough, but close relationships were problematic, as the people I was close to couldn't understand my strange ways, my uber-sensitivity to things, my need to be alone for long periods to process things in my brain. I have trouble being dishonest. I have trouble keeping my mouth shut. I have trouble remembering names and faces, and I used to have a terrible time trying to figure out what to do socially, what to say, how to act, and how to read people.

I'm still clumsy, although I'm more careful in my old age.

Anyway....now that you know what is going on with you, be easy and kind to yourself. If you need to isolate, then there is no shame in that. Indulge your obsessions with certain subjects (we can become quite expert at what we focus on), but always remember that nobody else cares about it as much as you do, so beware of chattering on non-stop to others (something my husband still cannot remember....he only has a few subjects he wishes to talk about, and he will dominate the conversation and bore everybody to tears).

Accept that you are the way you are, and know that, in order to exist in the world, you're going to have to remember to be a better listener than a talker. You're going to have to control your temper. You're going to have to learn to control the urge to blurt things out. You're going to have to be a keen observer of human behavior, in order to learn how to react in social situations. It took me until my 40s to learn that, when people ask, "how are you", they REALLY don't want to know. It's a social greeting. Your stock answer needs to be, "I'm fine, thanks, how are you?"

I have learned to be a good actress, say the lines, go through the motions, etc. It's not being phony, it is functioning in a world in which most people take this behavior for granted and automatically understand it. We don't, so we have to learn what to do. After a while, it becomes automatic. I still have a problem with people who touch me or get too close when I'm not expecting it. It used to make me jump and want to escape. I deal with it better now. Shake the hand, or give the hug back...only takes a second, it's part of the social dance.

There are many different levels of being an Aspie, some struggle with it more than others. I look at it as if we are strangers in a strange land, and if we want to blend in and work and live on this planet, we must learn how to act. However, never feel bad about it. Our views and thoughts are unique, different, sometimes quite insightful in our directness, and I wouldn't change that for the world.

Be grateful that you know who you are now. If I would have known when I was younger, I wouldn't have gone through the torture of feeling like a freak. To me, the diagnosis was a revelation and a release.

reply to post by ~widowmaker~


Well, I'm not on "tons of meds" just a generic brand of fluoxetine. Originally, all this started because I have anxiety issues and depression, which I kind of chalked up to family and relationship issues that happened in the past. It wasn't until my mom gave me a note for the doctor which she expressed her concerns and after a few observations by my psychologist, AS came up...

Next up, I have to go to a state hospital so they can confirm the diagnosis and see what therapy I need for me to integrate with society a bit.

Eventually, however this next therapy comes up, I'm going to try to wean myself off of the drugs.

reply to post by bekod


Thank you so much for the link.

That little snippet of text you provided nails me down to a T, especially the auditory and tactile senses. You wouldn't believe the fights I got with various family members when I didn't want to wear something I didn't like the feel of.

Also, because I like to sew/make costumes, you can't believe how awkward it is for me at a craft store when I'm just walking the rows of fabrics, touching each of them to see what material would work.

reply to post by MisterMandlebrot


The only person I knew of so far was Dan Akroyd (Blues Brothers, Coneheads, SNL). But it's pretty awesome to see that I have friends in high places.

reply to post by Komodo


I brought it up with my GP doctor, who then referred me into counselling/therapy where they found it out

reply to post by Soloprotocol


Well my mom never really grew up mentally....she's 40's but she listens to the newer music on the radio, loves Justin Bieber Talks like a teen...the R word flies around frequently if not to me, but to other people.

reply to post by FissionSurplus


Starred post, and I'm glad to have joined the club!

you mentioned that it could be hereditary. I have no idea of other family members who supposedly has this or a similar disorder, but some have told me that my nana *grandma's mom* was a bit off...strangely she died before I was born, and sometimes I get compared to her.