I present this musical video that to me represents what it could be like ... when the fear level goes away.
Please listen to the lyrics very carefully and please note the highly unusual 'reality' that is portrayed.
For me ... such a reality would be amusing and magical and wouldn't increase my fear or cause me to feel I am in harms way.
For me there is a spectrum ... the more fear ... the more the voices become agitated and emotional and compete/ talk over each other ... the more confusion I experience with trying to sort out who said what and why.
The 'technical' terminology for this state of being is called becoming 'prodromal' and it is based on the concept of 'Command and Control' ... i.e. who is control ... me .. or the voices!
There are times when the 'internal dialog' (ie I know the voices are just inside my mind) is like a softly flowing gentle stream and I feel at ease with my lot ... and there are times when it is like a swift flowing river carving a course over the landscape and I feel driven and compelled to engage and act on what the voices are telling me ... and there are times it is like a set of whitewater rapids followed by a
Most often the visuals and the physical sensations are wrong when veiwed from the point of view of normal reality ... shadows that go towards the sun instead of away ... or no shadows at all.
People walking through walls or other people like ghosts ... because the wall and or those people are only in my head.
Example. I often see a small petite short haired female cat that glides [legs dont move] and doesn't cast any shadow ... but I can feel her rub up against my leg and I can hear her purring.
For me the ONLY thing that brings me peace of mind is to work out my own fears and then deal with them and to do that I must extend trust in others and not doubt myself that I do trust those 'designated' people in my life with my life. The same goes with objects.
It is the paranoia that I must defend against ... not the voices or hallucinations.
The latter inform me of many points of veiw ... the former informs me that I am not making full sense of what I am sensing.
Personal Disclosure: I was afraid to post this reply ok
Nobody likes to be and or feel judged unfairly or innaccurately.
I hope by posting this to reduce my own unfounded fear level ... because there are many real world founded fears we all have to deal with right now and aint nobody got time for being distracted.
I hope this helps.
edit on 24-1-2013 by OmegaLogos because: Edited to fix spelling and spacing.
edit on 24-1-2013 by OmegaLogos because: Edited to redact a unrequired word for the purpose of clarity.