Like anyone who has worked in any industry for a length of time, you pick up things. One of the many tricks I learned in almost twenty years of retail work and management, is when not to go shopping. There’s times of the day and night you are simply mad to go in and do a shop, times when there are no one around and times when you will simply be pulling your hair out dodging other shoppers and generally muttering profanities under your breath, trying your hardest not to throttle them.

One of the times that it is best to shop is right after the store opens. Most supermarkets in Australia, at least in country areas, open around 7am. For the first three hours or so the place is practically deserted, and you can pretty much do your shopping in peace. This tends to get a little busier up until around 11am, when you have the first ‘rush’ of the day. This usually coincides with the school drop-off, where parents drop their kids off at school, have the usual morning gossip with their friends, and then go shopping. By around 11, they all line up at the checkouts at once, and from there things go downhill. For anyone who has ever been on the other side of the checkout, the hostility is almost frightening.

For some unknown reason, people who are made to wait, even for a few minutes in a supermarket environment, turn into hideous raving monsters, or even worse, rabid dogs, snapping, barking and generally foaming at the mouth at the injustice of it all.

So this weekend just past, I made a terrible error in judgement, one that showed me just how far the attitude towards the humble retail employee has fallen since my departure from the industry.

I slept in.

Now mind you, this was only a 9am sleep in, but for someone who is used to rising around 530-6am, this was quite a feat. I blame all the recent events going on in my life just finally catching up, and a very rare empty house, as both of my girls were away at friends.

Sitting over my rather late morning Iced Coffee, I toyed with the idea of leaving the shopping until after lunch, the second ‘smart’ time to go shopping. After the 11am rush, it generally goes dead after lunch, once everyone has been and gone, got their lunch, their food, gone home and gone back to work. If you want peaceful shopping, get in now, because at around 4pm, the second rush begins, coinciding with the after school dinner rush. This is the rush you want to avoid unless you enjoy abuse and mosh pits, not to mention waiting.

Unfortunately for me, my kids were returning shortly before this time, and my fridge kind of resembled Mother Hubbard’s, and trust me, my kids come home to an empty fridge and I’d rather take my chances in the 4pm rush.
So I set about convincing myself that it couldn’t be that bad, and maybe, just maybe I’d be ok. So armed with a belly full of caffeine and a well-slept mind, off I went.

I swear the people who plan shopping malls make the car parks based on about a tenth of the population of the town. After parking on a lawn area about five miles from the actual supermarket (thank god for 4x4s), I walked into a rock concert of shopping trollies, screaming kids and mindless drones clearing the shelves at an alarming rate while complaining their favourite product wasn’t there, there were too many people, etc, etc. Taking a deep breath, while fighting down the urge to about face and just get the hell out of there, I pressed on and entered the supermarket.

This is where I realised people somehow drive trollies worse than they drive cars. They cut in front of you with no warning, stand with their trollies sticking out into the aisle while endlessly browsing, and walk three and four abreast down the aisle at a snail’s pace, stopping and turning without warning or even bothering to look, and generally giving you filthy looks for being in their way. Now this isn’t some inner city rat race supermarket, this is rural Queensland! Add to that the masses of screaming kids running up and down the aisle at full speed, and it makes you wonder how there isn’t just some pile up of twisted bodies and broken metal in the centre of each aisle.

After half an hour or so of ducking and running through shelves, dodging people left and right, I finally made it to the checkouts. Of course, there’s a mass line-up of people. Now I’ll give this to the supermarket, they had many checkouts open to handle the influx, and only had two out of sixteen that didn’t have someone manning them. Now, like anyone, I hate waiting. Call it impatience, call it just wanting get the hell away from this noise and chaos, but I’d come this far, and knew full well the consequences of my sleep in, so I parked in behind two others, and waited, trying to think of quiet and nice things while I did so.

It wasn’t long before you could start to pick out the idiotic comments from people standing in line waiting. After a few minutes I heard a customer call over the supervisor, asking for a replacement. The girl came over, to which this loud-mouthed moron stated;

“I need a replacement on this operator. He’s too slow!” Now this woman had been waiting all of five minutes to get served, and surely must have had some clue that coming here on the busiest part of day, on the busiest day of the week would lead.
This kid was all of 15-16, and frankly was doing his best to be polite and friendly towards the people he served. Granted, he wasn’t racing through the items at warp speed, but compared to some of the dullards I have been served by over the years, he was doing ok.

After this I noticed another shopper pacing up and down the line up, every time he passed me, he very loudly and rudely stated “I always come here and every time I have to wait. It’s ridiculous; they should look after their customers better.” After the fourth or so smart mouth comment he settled in the line next to me, and continued to basically bitch about having to wait. After a few minutes of this, I had had enough.

“Did it ever occur to you this is all they have that can serve on registers? That they’re doing the best they can?” Part of me wished I hadn’t opened my mouth so bluntly to a total stranger, but I’ve never been one to hold back, thoughts or otherwise. This guy, and several others within earshot stopped dead, turning their voracious eyes on me. Too late to back out now. He opened his mouth, no doubt to utter some smart mouth remark, I jumped in first.

“You people amaze me. Every week you come here in the busiest part of the day, on the busiest day of the week, and bitch and complain at the service. Yet you go into a bank, a post office, a government building, and you sit and wait, and never complain once. These people are doing their best to serve you. Maybe you should just shut up and wait your goddamned turn!”
(Cont below)

I swear you could have heard a pin drop around me. I don’t think the guy I directed this at had the slightest idea the ferocity of the barrage he just copped. I have to admit it was funny watching his mouth open and shut as he tried to get a reply in. I even spotted the supervisor (someone I actually know) at the service desk with her mouth wide open.

“You want to do something smart?” I went on, “try coming here early or after lunch. There’s no lines.” With that I turned my back on him. I was sure I heard him mutter several choice words in my direction, but nothing I’ve never been called on a weekly basis.

Really, my outburst was the crux of it. People are happy to go into any public place, and sit patiently until they are served, even if there is one person serving and fifty people lined up, and never say a word otherwise. But for some reason, being made to wait a few extra minutes in the supermarket queue, and people are shouting “oh hell no,” like it’s some travesty against them.

As someone who has both been on the other side of the checkout, and has listened to the endless whining of people who think that the supermarket universe should revolve around them, I say this.

Stop for a second. Take a look at the person behind that checkout. Really look. Because that person is not some mindless drone that just loves putting up with your stupid insults and childish name calling, because you have to wait a few extra minutes to get your shopping done. That person goes home at night to their own family, hangs up their uniform the same as you, and has a life away from the endless drudgery of the checkout.

So next time you have to wait at the checkout because you picked the wrong time to go do your shopping, heed my advice. Be smart, and either change your shopping patterns, or be prepared to shut your mouth and wait your turn.

I hear your frustration, and your background in retail gives you a different perspective for sure. Witty rant! You're absolutely right we are not as patient in a retail situation. Maybe it is the money thing, I give you my money I expect service, but that gets blown when you throw in banks, although banks have that marble/library feel, while supermarkets and shops have that every man for himself feel,

Thanks for the shopping times tips, I had not known about the after lunch time period.

Customer service jobs are a bitch. Always has been, always will be.

Originally posted by Iamschist
I hear your frustration, and your background in retail gives you a different perspective for sure. Witty rant! You're absolutely right we are not as patient in a retail situation. Maybe it is the money thing, I give you my money I expect service, but that gets blown when you throw in banks, although banks have that marble/library feel, while supermarkets and shops have that every man for himself feel,

Thanks for the shopping times tips, I had not known about the after lunch time period.

See that I can understand too, the amount of times I had (mostly elderly) people complain their favourite product had gone up three cents and it was a crime against them to do so, I can see where people's frustration comes from. You pay top dollar for something, you expect a stellar level of service as your reward for parting with your cash. The amount of times you just feel like saying "you think they can afford that $1 bread and $2 milk without putting something else up to cover that loss?" Always gives me a little smile. End of the day, businesses exist make money. It's what they do.

What most people don't realise is the average retail worker, or even manager, has no control over pricing and products, especially in larger retail corporations. They are usually handed a machete along with their pen to do wages with, all to suit some guy higher up the chain who wants his 12million dollar bonus, and wants to please the shareholders by giving them a return on their faith in their company, and then entertain the stigma that "when you shop in our store, you shouldn't have to wait." Of course, once it becomes habit, we get what we have now.

Although Ive never had the opportunity to work in retail. I can totally see your points. People are just plain rude, I have felt frustrated on many a shopping trip due to not enough staff, empty checkouts, rude people grumping at having to wait.

However I have never or would never take the frustration out on the mere checkout worker!!! My whole idea about shopping is if your not happy with the way things are going. Either complain to the manager orr just don't shop in the store if you truly think there is a problem.

Your right though in choosing your times and days, it can make a huge difference. I have other gripes about shopping. People that think they can stop anywhere and have a chat blocking the way though and not taking any notice to you wanting to get though grrrr.

This is why I normally take my very young kids, although well behaved at the shops. Will speak loudly about someone blocking the way . I have them trained to cry and scream on demand too !!!! .

OK joking about that part, but to actually get to the checkout is a relief. Im happy to stand there for 5 and take a breather. Or use the self serve checkout.