Hello all, I wasn't sure which topic to file this under, I'm sure the Mod-Gods will sort it out.

This is the story of my war against depression.

I have had a school/work mate and a neighbor commit suicide and yet only after they've passed away were people talking about their depression. All people could talk say was 'he seemed unhappy', but when these people were alive the topic was never raised.

I know what it's like. I've suffered severe depression for almost twenty years, for reasons I'm not willing to discuss. Every time I've been in a depressive mood no one cared, even friends. Their reaction is to talk louder or ignore you entirely. Everybody who's suffered depression know what it's like, you're seen as a 'buzzkill' or are accused of bringing everyone else down with you. I've even told a friend that I was finally going to do it (suicide) and the answer was "how do you think this will make me look?".

You'd think the obvious answer is to find new friends; this is one problem. When you're down in the dumps your confidence and self esteem are too. Personally I've never had these two attributes, but that's only half the problem.

The other half is the public's opinion. My grandparents still don't believe in mental illnesses, aside from actual 'physical' mental disabilities such as autism and brain damage. When you have a problem like Depression or anxiety, everybody who knows looks at you like you're broken, and it's hard to get close to anyone (especially women) for that same reason.

But I think I've finally found a way that could end it once and for all; I've started thinking that depression is like cigarettes.

Both are bad for you.

You can live without them.

You'll feel better once they're out of your life.

And it's helping. Just like quitting smoking it's taking a lot of willpower, but I am starting to feel better. It may take a while but I'm keen to get it out of my system.

This method won't work for everyone, I know it's a tired old cliche but if I can help just one person then it makes it all worth while.

Thank you for reading, and I hoped I passed the audition.

Sorry if I just misread that but are you saying to quit depression?

Ever since I learned everything is in the mind, including emotions and such. What I thought of as depression, went away. I kind of realized that they're desperate to diagnose us with conditions that don't really exist unless we allow them to so they can treat us with pills or a new way of life. For some people, this is too hard. They aren't able to understand that being sad or mad is a choice of the mind. Even for addictions, they are choices of the mind and after I realized it was me putting the cigarette up to my mouth and smoking, is when I instantly quit. They can tell you you're addicted or have been struck with what they call a mental illness but you still have all the power to not be affected and if you somehow still believe you don't have control of your own mind, then I feel sorry for you.

I'm a former depressive whose young adult life was pretty much ruined by antidepressant drugs, so I would caution against those. Things that help: daily exercise, deep breathing, funny movies (really!), St. John's Wort, avoiding negative people. Nobody supported me, either. It takes a lot of strength to endure it on your own, but we are all stronger than we can even understand. I'll give you another glimmer of hope, too, and that's that it tends to improve with age. I'm in my upper fifties now, and haven't suffered from depression in years. Hang in there. You absolutely can put it in your rearview mirror.

There are different type of depressions....

Depression from childhood trauma is hard to get rid of, even thru medication.

Hello, OP.

I've lived with PTSD and major depression for over twenty years now. I've tried to commit suicide once (and ended up checking myself into the hospital for a couple of weeks). My depression stems from trauma, but it also is self-aggravating, as you stated.

What I've found that helps me the most are the following:

sunshine (read up on seasonal affective disorder)
exercise (which is hard to do when you have no energy due to depression)
quite alone time (I need this to recharge; I can't stand crowds of people)
positive thinking (such as what you described)

Just be aware that positive thinking alone is not necessarily enough to work through a major depression. After all, if that was all it took, there'd be a lot less depressed people in the world.

If you ever need to talk to someone who understands, I'm here.

I would like to add that drugs like Paroxetine are not the answer. I've been on these SSRI drugs and they've only made it worse. Hell they're probably more mind altering than anything you could buy on the street, but in a bad way.

I have a good diet and exercise, and drugs and alcohol are not an issue. Sometimes you can think yourself into depression, and the more you think about it the worse it gets. Nowadays before i get to that stage i think "screw it. It's not worth it."

ok i have before over 20 years depression and phobia until my doc was earn enaf on me he gave me Fevarin 100 to take it 3 times a day then after 14teen days allmost all was gone.This medical is without side effects! I take it around 1 year with reduce it in this time.since 20years i take it no more! Try it after 14 days you will feel it getting better and better! good luck my friend! im shure it will help you!

Good for you OP, whatever you can use as leverage against this 'black dog' (Michael will understand the reference, or at least his avatar will) is a real positive.

I've been on the same road as you for too many years now, some days are good some are hopeless, with a sprinkling of ones that I'd rather just forget about.

My advice though would be to stay away from pharma's at all costs. I've been on numerous regimes in the past and some will literally rip the life out of you, others will leave you with the dreaded Brainzaps - the depression is actually easier to deal with than them! Not to mention a nasty little chemical dependence problem.

I'll leave you with this: A very wise Buddhist friend of mine once told me that depression is addictive, so your cigarette analogy resonated with me. He said that sometimes the feelings we have when in this (negative) state can give us a kind of hit and allow us to become self-absorbed and self-centred.

I learned from this that its important to fill your mind with as much activity as you can, keep yourself busy and distracted from dwelling on your internal problems and anxieties. I know its sometimes not easy - just like giving up smoking

It's actually pretty inspiring to hear so many people have over come something that is so deeply misunderstood.

I've struggled with depression my whole life and it's just so draining to try to explain to people who have never experienced such thing, how it affects a person. I too was at a point of desperation and sought out pills and whatever else the doctors prescribed but it was not the answer for me.

What i've found helpful is spending time in your own head. Most people suggest to surround yourself with positive energy/people but if anything it only brought me down more to be around people who could just enjoy life.
I found that medicinal bud has also helped me overcome a lot of anxiety and allowed me to reach further into my mind and come to a level of understanding about myself and my condition to be just that, it's a condition. A feeling. At the end of the day it doesn't make me who I am, and I sure as hell don't want something to control my every step in life.