Vulcan Chicken

New Recipe: Vulcan Chicken.

Cooked up some yard bird last night. Did it in the oven, whole bird, came out fabulous! Yummy eats; love to cook. Afterwards, I decided to boil down the carcass for some chicken stock (you know the stuff, for soups and sauces and such), and came up with a new recipe; Vulcan Chicken.

Here are step by step instructions: (remember this, there might be a quiz)

1. Place chicken carcass in pot on stove, cover with water. Add bay leaves and spices. Easy on the salt.

2. Place lid on pot and turn heat to low-med.

3. Get busy cleaning out the endless disaster and dumping zone known as...'the basement'.

4. Take care of several honey-do's. Hey, she's gonna' be really happy about this!!

5. Forget about the chicken all together; go to bed.

6. Wake up about 2am wondering why the whole house smells like chicken (?) "Boy, that chicken must have been really good!"

7. Use restroom; go back to bed.

8. Wake up at 4am wondering why the house smells like we live inside a giant baked chicken. I mean, the chicken was good, but this is ridiculous!

9. Check the oven to make sure you turned it off the night before. Sure does smell ‘chicken-y’ in the kitchen, but the oven’s off for sure.

10. Go back to bed.

11. Sleep for 10 minutes until alarm goes off...the smoke alarm that is.

12. Investigate; find chicken stock pot with burner still on. Voila ...Vulcanized Chicken! Or, “Vulcan Chicken” for short.

Serving instructions: Extinguish flames and smoking wreckage; Cool pot down enough so it doesn’t glow anymore and chisel chicken (while gagging) from pan bottom. Initiate defense measures for wife's 'incoming' comments. Move lightly blackened (charred volcanic black, now wet and steaming, wreckage) in serving size portions, to waste basket. Save all inhabitants and small pets by ventilating house (hey, it's only -5 outside!).

Serve with copious amounts of water, flame retardant and man sized chunks of bruised pride!

Cleanup is easy; discard pan and hope for a meteor strike in the back yard so the subject will change to something else!

Ahem….

Move along now, there’s nothing to see here!

Sounds nice.

I like mine extra crispy.

I'll have to try this !

That's so funny
s&f

The way I look at it, if you can't poke fun at yourself then you're not human.

You know, people get tired of hearing all the boasts and the name dropping. Sometimes it's fun just to hear about real life. Sometimes 'real life' can be the most fun of all.

FCD

What's a yard bird?

Second,steps 3 and 4,really?
It's nap time dude.
Maybe a beer or 12.

Sounds good,when can I come over?

reply to post by kdog1982


Yard bird = chickens. We raise some chickens.

Nap? Around here, with all the critters, that's about all you get...just a nap. So, yes, it was just that, a nap.

...and one very crusty chicken carcass.

Oh well.

Cool pot down enough so it doesn’t glow anymore and chisel chicken (while gagging) from pan bottom.

That is by far my favorite part Must have been a really foul odor, pun intended . I'd say this incident will become a family classic, to be repeated for company, and anyone who will listen.

Must be something about chicken.
I did something similar with some fried chicken I was reheating in the oven.
I had gotten home from a very long shift at work 5:30am to 11:00pm.
I put a couple chunks of fried chicken in the oven at about 1:50 just to warm it a bit and promptly fell asleep on the sofa.
I woke up 6 hours later to find petrified chicken in my oven.
No smoke or flame but completely dried to mummified looking drum sticks.