Manners, People! This Isn't Kindergarten!

Okay, ATS. We need to talk.

What is with the lack of manners exhibited by many on this site? It's appalling, reflects poorly on the whole community, and is unnecessary.

Yesterday I found myself reading a thread where the OP related a personal story. Admittedly, the story was fantastical, but that wasn't the problem.

The problem? The way some members chose to attack and ridicule the OP when it was completely uncalled for.

Now, the mods did their thing and took care of the rude replies, but in my opinion there is no reason to post such vitriol.

Please don't misunderstand me. There's nothing wrong with disagreeing with each other, and the entire purpose of ATS is to find truth through debate. But there's no need to ridicule each other while doing so, is there? By all means, express your doubts and concerns. Just keep it civil.....you're argument holds more value if you do.

Sorry for the rant. Now, lets all play nice, shall we?

If you can't handle criticism, don't put something so personal on the internet.

reply to post by DaTroof


There's nothing wrong with criticism. In fact, it's how we move forward.

But criticism can be presented in a mannerly fashion. That's all I'm suggesting.

reply to post by smyleegrl


I agree, but what is considered proper etiquette from individual to individual is subjective. There are a LOT of thin-skinned wussies here on this website. Being respectful is one thing, but just because someone is offended doesn't mean the comment was offensive.

reply to post by smyleegrl


I absolutely agree with you.

Sometimes it scares me to comment on things because I don't want to be bashed.

Some and not all just want to be mean for no reason... And it makes me sad.

I've been on here for years and have seen the debates go from nice civil informational debates to just....your wrong and I'm right.

Its not all like that, just sometimes.

And I'm not smart or knowledgeable enough to have a debate...at least on here...

Haha...someone said I think it was datroof....thin-skinned wussies...well I'll have to admit...I'm gonna raise my hand and say I'm one of those people.
My heart is too sensitive.

Originally posted by DaTroof
reply to post by smyleegrl

 

I agree, but what is considered proper etiquette from individual to individual is subjective. There are a LOT of thin-skinned wussies here on this website. Being respectful is one thing, but just because someone is offended doesn't mean the comment was offensive.

Subjectiveness certainly comes into play, I agree. But calling someone names, laughing at their hobbies, or the like is unnecessary.

reply to post by natalia


The saddest threads I've read always start with something along the lines of "I've never posted this because I don't have pics, or I didn't want to get flamed."

reply to post by smyleegrl


Yeah exactly! I've only done my intro thread and a poem.

Every time I find something I want to post I get super nervous...so I leave that to other people and if I feel passionate enough and not so thin skinned that day..I'll comment.


I love your avatar by the way. And have seen you around posting here and there. And have agreed on many things you have said.

These people will say things on the internet because they have the safety of anonymity. They say things on the net that they wouldnt dare say to a persons face.

I have to plead guilty to this. I know I've stepped over the line occasionally.

There are those who turn into Godzilla when they get behind the wheel of an automobile, and there are those who turn into this...

when you give them access to a keyboard, and a forum.

There really are flesh and blood people on the receiving end of the words we type folks. We shouldn't be typing to someone, what we wouldn't say to them in person. Although, for some folks, there wouldn't be much difference.

reply to post by Klassified


Kudos, Klassified.

We've all done it, me too. I agree with the poster who suggested it was, in large part, due to the anonymity we enjoy online.

I've made fun of posts, and posters, before. It's not something I'm proud of, in fact I'm rather appalled at how easy I can slip into trolldom.

I think if we remember we are talking to real people, that will help.

You should see it from the staff's point of view. You'd think we were nuts to want to deal with it all. Is civility too much to ask? From most, no. Some let their emotions get away from them at times. Those are easily dealt with. Then there are those that have no respect for others, the site and most importantly themselves. They will either get it or they will be shown the door.

reply to post by smyleegrl
I try to keep to the rule of not saying anything to anyone online that I would not say to their face, in person. In fact, my friends and family would probably say that I'm a lot more tactful here than I am in my everyday life as I am a very honest and blunt person who does not hesitate to share my uncensored views with anyone in my immediate surroundings. If anything ATS has helped me to learn to hesitate and be more thoughtful of my words and how they may affect the feelings of others. Now if I could just get everyone else on board with that....

reply to post by littled16


Totally understand what you're saying. I work in Corrections and that is a vulgar environment to work in. Dad was in the Navy and I'll tell you Corrections is WAY worse. I don't go by the rule, "I wouldn't say here what I wouldn't in RL." In RL that would be WAY against the T&C. I go by, "What would I say in front of my Grandmother." That works.

I don't think there's any way I can not agree with you . I haven't been here that long and already I got goaded into jumping two guys who were arguing with an OP with an unpopular opinion . They did not argue with the opinion , their argument was that this fellow must be stupid because he couldn't spell very well .

I'm the kind of guy who sticks up for the underdog and I'm afraid some day I'll get into trouble with ATS for jumping on a few people who I suspect are being rude and mean just for fun .

reply to post by smyleegrl


I absolutely agree with you! This is one reason I am letting my thread die, so I can just lurk. And if the people here don't improve their attitude, I'm closing my account.
I have enough "bad attitude" to deal with on my job without having to deal with it where I come for entertainment.

I think one's manners shows just how mature/immature they are. A lot of people need to grow up here.

S&F as usual, OP.

reply to post by smyleegrl


Well said!

I've lurked here for a long time and have only recently started posting, but even I have noticed a marked decline in civility lately. The snarkiness and rudeness is so uncalled for., ATS is supposed to be a fun escape, not worse than what we are escaping from.

Well, yes this is Kingtergarten, in the sense that there really are no social barriers to speaking your mind, standing up for yourself, and telling someone you think they are a 'silly boy'. The point is, we all should be role models in showing how to debate, argue without namecalling, and besting someone intellectually, or just proving them wrong with proof. Have a nice day.

All I can say is star and flag, and I couldn't agree more.

Sooooo unnecessary!

reply to post by Klassified



Soooo true!

I have seen people say things, that if said in person, the person would get hauled off to the drunk tank, drinking or not! lol