Some have noticed that, over the past two or three weeks, I've gone relatively silent on ATS. I know this to be true because I've gotten a few very
touching messages asking if I am OK. It's extremely nice when folks notice when you're not around! I suppose there are also a few folks who have
been happy I've shut-up lately! To them, I say "You're welcome!"
I guess I owe the community an update - at least those who care to read one. I logged on tonight with the intention of posting this to the moderators
only forum - but, then, decided that it's probably a better fit here. So here goes nothing...
A few weeks back I began to notice that my left foot was swelling up. After a few days it flat out ballooned. It's scary when your foot swells up so
much that you cannot put your shoes on. But it's a totally different thing when the swelling gets so bad that you can't even get a sock on. That's
exactly what happened in my case. Both feet had swollen, but the left one was like elephantiasis big - which scared the heck out of me.
Currently I have no health insurance, as I am in the process of getting disability. If I lived in just about any other state, this would not be an
issue, as I'd have access to medical care regardless, in one form or another. But I happen to live in the great state of Georgia - where social
services barely exist. Google it, our Governor actually takes pride in the fact that he'd rather pay the Federal government a ton of fines, for not
following the law, than to actually offer the services that the government says he has to. It's rather bizarre, but that's life. Given my situation,
the best I could do was wander over to WebMD and type my symptoms in. That didn't work in my favor...
According to WebMD there are two possibilities - heart failure or diabetes. Needless to say, this got my attention in a HUGE way.
A bit more research showed me that another possibility was that I was sitting too much. In fact even if WebMD were right - being physically active
would possibly help to alleviate the severity of diabetes and heart disease too. So it was a no brainer for me... The answer was to stop sitting here
and to get active!
That's what I did. That's why I've been offline.
To be honest... it only took a day or two for me to also realize that I'd gotten myself way too emotionally invested in some of the topics I tend to
debate on ATS as well. There is a price to be paid for the one who cares about something that other people tend to treat as a throwaway commodity.
Bluntly put - being highly invested in a website that tends to attract its fair share of trolls is not a healthy thing. I allowed myself to get too
involved and I think that my physical and mental health were worse for it. So the swollen feet thing was a blessing in disguise as it's allowing me
to also regain my focus and my center where ATS is concerned. Don't misunderstand. I still love this site and this community. I have no desire to
"check out". But I did need to take a step back... to get away and have a bit of fresh air, as it were.
When I return, in the coming days, it will be in a much more positive and productive state of mind.
The good news, regarding my health, is that I do have a lawyer handling my case. That lawyer has promised me that she will get me access to a doctor
in the coming week or two, come Hell or high water. A promise that has alleviated a ton
of stress from my mind.
That, friends, is why I've been away. I still log in every day or three - to check my messages and take a peek at the moderators forum. I'm still
not convinced that I need to open up any threads - as I don't want to get sucked back in to the really disturbing and stressful conversations. But,
rest assured, I'll be back here, fighting the good fight, very very soon.