Feminism & The Downfall Of The Traditional Family

I believe that each person in the relationship should take on the responsibilities that they are best at regardless of their gender.

The person in the relationship who is best at managing financial matters should take on that responsibility,whether it be the man or the woman. It would be the pinnacle of folly to allow the financially irresponsible person in the relationship to handle the finances just because he is the man. It would border on insanity to jeopardize the financial security of the relationship just to conform to traditional gender roles.
The same applies to every aspect of the relationship,why not use the individual strengths of each person to create a stronger,more secure and stable living situation rather than conform to traditional gender roles and have a weak, unstable living situation?

I think the whole stereotype that there needs to be an alpha dog or general in the relationship to call the shots is just complete nonsense and it only creates problems when people try to live up to that stereotype.
both people should work together contributing their strongest assets to achieving the goals they have in common, such as having a place to live,money to pay bills, food to eat etc.
personal goals are just that, they are personal to you,so the other person should not be expected to or forced to help you achieve them.
For example, i`m not a pet person, I prefer not to have any pets, but my wife loves pets, the more the merrier seems to be her motto.We have an understanding that if she wants to have pets i`m not going to try to stop her but she is completely responsible for them. i won`t do anything for them, she has to feed them,walk them, clean up after them, buy food for them, etc. I won`t even carry a bag of dog food into the house from the car.
in the same way, I don`t expect her or even ask her to contribute to any of my personal goals and she usually doesn`t, but sometimes she does offer to help and I accept her help.

My wife used to say things like "we have to go..(here or there or somewhere)" or "we have to do.(this, that or the other)." and my response was always " I don`t HAVE to do anything except pay taxes and die"
My point was that her opinion of what she felt should be one of my goals was just that, her opinion, and that it was unreasonable,and intrusive of her to expect me to make it one of my goals just because it was one of her goals.
She no longer says things like that.

I think the important thing to remember about being in a relationship is that you don`t try to become 1 morphed person, you are still 2 individual people who contribute your best assets to the relationship to create a better life for each of you that you wouldn`t be able to create individually.

I`ve been married for 31 years to the same woman but by no means do I consider myself to be an authority on marriage or relationships i just know what works for us,and trying to have an alpha dog in our relationship would be a catastrophe,because neither of us will tolerate being told what to do, how to do it, or when to do it by the other.We both contribute our best assets in a way that is most effective for each of us individually.
I don`t expect her to do things my way and she doesn`t expect me to do things her way.The important thing is that we each do things in a way that is most effective and efficient for us personally.How you reach the goal isn`t as important as reaching it.

I disagree with this idea that somehow the world is now falling apart when
it was all wine and roses before, not to mention ive seen someone say
something to the order of, divorce is a modern day invention, apparently
they have not read much history and also they have apparently never
read about the matriarchal societies that have and still do exist where
they tend to have less problems overall....... Divorce has been around
for a very long time, its even recorded in the bible.

I believe the term they use for this is similar to nostalgia, or i should say
it works the same way, we tend to remember things much more fondly
then they really were, we also tend to forget the bad things and focus on
the good, so its always "remember the good ole days".

This is also a classic religious argument, but there again who was one of
the main opponents to both the womens rights movements and the
civil rights movements? religion lol so to sum it all up, this is all just speculation
based on rosy ideas that yesteryear was somehow better.........

Now on the other hand, there are crazy feminists, like the ones who demand
men sit while urinating because standing is somehow lording our masculinity
over them LOL

Originally posted by resoe26 I'm talking about the "controlling" females. Which is about every single female in my age group.

You do in fact realize there are millions upon millions of women in your age group do you not? and this makes your statement preposterous as you obviously haven't met a significant number of these women nor does the few you have encountered logically allow you to make a sweeping generalization of a group this size

I find it hilarious you're trying to portray yourself as being knowledgeable about women when you said you're only 25 and got married after your time in the military. Between your profession and getting married so young when did you find the time to get so well acquainted with the fairer sex?

Speaking as someone from your age group I've found the exact opposite of what you are proclaiming. and i hardly see women our age as largely being anything you describe. Rather to me you come off like the usual whining over dramatic self entitled mens rights activist who has been burned by a previous relationship and sets out damning the "modern woman" every chance they can

Originally posted by resoe26I consistantly see my peers being controlled by thier female counterpart. Being criticized for inane things that mean absolutely nothing. Having to report to them as if they are on probation. You can't talk to these guys and convince them not to put up with that # but they never listen. You tell them to grow a pair, but they have been cut off already.

Heres an idea how about you mind your own business? I know this may be a shock to you with your whole crusade to bring back the traditional way of life ( Which is funny given you didn't live in the good old days thus merely have a romanticized view of the time period and life style) but there are men who prefer for their partner to wear the pants. Just as i have known quite a few women who prefer their men to be in control and they are practically out right submissive. Its not my cup of tea but whatever floats there boat,


And just as i predicted

Originally posted by resoe26 If you notice on the majority of commercials and television, Men are downgraded. They are the butt end of a joke always while the female is praised for her tact and conviction. I believe these day to day viewings of downgrading men have taken its toll on modern women and men.

You resorted to this cliche talking point of "Well the tv and the movies don't have any strong men on them blah blahblah!" even though we are swarmed with numerous tv shows and movies with strong male characters but yes lets let a few glade pluggin commercials sweep that all to the side. lol

Originally posted by resoe26 Many men now in days suffer with a lack of confidence

We do?

Feminism was absolutely necessary....and it didn't start to have a real impact until the 1990's. (In the UK it was still legal for a man to beat and rape his wife until 1992.)

Feminism (from the time of the suffragettes) was about women having the right to vote and the right to own property. At that time, the only way a woman could have her own wealth was if she was a widow. However, from around about the 1970's intellectualism invaded the movement and feminist intellectuals (males and females - you don't have to be a woman to be a feminist) became so caught up in trying to prove how clever they were they completely lost sight of what they were trying to achieve in the first place.

For example, I am, apparently, a post modern marxist feminist - as opposed to a post modern feminist marxist, which is, according to the feminist intellectuals, completely different.

I don't blame male or female feminists for the breakdown of the family unit - I blame the banks and the government Why? Because in the early 1980's it was perfectly possible for a family to buy a house and pay their bills from one wage packet. Men were paid a family living wage.

Then, in the mid 80's the first property bubble occurred. House prices escalated at the same time mass unemployment was an issue. It became an employers' market and they slashed wages. As a consequence women were given no option but to get out there and work as well. Children were sent to daycare to be raised by some underpaid and, I'm sure, good soul, who not being the child's biological parent just didn't have the vested interest in ensuring the best environment and care for that particular child. Daycare from infancy breeds institutionalised human beings. There is no individuality. All the children have a drink at 10am - they all have lunch at noon, have a nap at 2pm - whether or not they are thirsty, hungry or tired.

The 80's was the time of the 'superwoman' - and if you think men have lost their identity now - you should have seen them then. I was a 'superwoman' - it meant I could 'have it all'. Ha ha - I had the children, took care of domestic chores and had a full time job as well - it was just exhausting.

Feminism was about choice - those who criticise the stay at home mum are NOT feminists - they're something else altogether. Feminism was about society recognising the value of motherhood to its well being.

And also from the 1980's we had a prolific rise in 'single parents' - a term that almost makes me laugh given that it's a biological impossibility. However, it became socially acceptable for men to make babies and not take care of them. This was behaviour that would have made such men social outcasts in previous generations. When was the last time you ever heard of a shotgun wedding taking place?

The original Sufferage movement was about equality, and votes for women was just one strand of the movements intent. Feminism is not about equality or it would be known as Equalism, it is about women being prime. The abomination originated in the Russian Revolution so Feminism is just Communism in drag, and will eventually be the downfall of western civilisation. While this fall is happening I will be poolside gleefully indulging in the rewards an aware man can get from modern women's misandry.

reply to post by Ireminisce





Definition Fem-I-nine...Having qualities or appearance traditionally associated with

women esp. delicacy and prettiness


Your second point "It just bothers me that so many women feel that I am moving the

female race backwards simply because of the way I live"


IF you are happy and content with your lot why, oh why would it "bother you??


You say "I do however get lots of judgement and snide remarks from women I meet?? can

you really be sure on that score? (judgement and snide remarks) I find most people

who are content with their own lot...'live and let live' and do not make judgements.


That 'chip' on your shoulder is beginning to show ...There's a saying goes "My Lady she

doeth protest too much"

Thought some of you might like this....

reply to post by ironorchid










A *star* and applause if I could give it too you!

reply to post by nixie_nox


I agree with this and and IMO the traditional family lifestyle went out the window when two paychecks were required to live a somewhat decent lifestyle.

Originally posted by InTheLight
reply to post by nixie_nox

 

I agree with this and and IMO the traditional family lifestyle went out the window when two paychecks were required to live a somewhat decent lifestyle.

The requirement of two paychecks came about because increased numbers of available labour meant employers could offer lower wages, there's that old cause and effect thing again.

I remember being in a nightclub shortly before I left the UK some years ago and was walking towards the bathroom along a narrow corridor, a tall good-looking blonde was coming the other way and it was one of those situations where one takes a step one side to go around and the other goes the same way and before you know it you both keep stepping the same way and bumping into each other. I laughed at the situation, and her reaction was to look down her nose at me as if I was something she'd just stepped in.

From my own experience it's a problem more in western culture than other places int he world. Having spent a fair bit of time in Asia I generally find women there are more traditional in their role at home, and far less demanding and bossy. I've also seen the effect western culture can have on Asian women when they marry foreigners and move to his country. Within a few years they turn into the same demanding and bossy women that the poor guy had been divorced previously.

Many things are to blame, media being the biggest culprit.

There are now newly defined family types which were and are still being forged out of necessity by many factors we face with the evolution of people and the societies we live in. I see young women in third world countries striving for education so that they can contribute to their family, society and their own lives; not just cleaning, cooking and raising children, although I'm sure alot of women can also incorporate those just as important choices in their life if they so choose. I believe it is a matter of choice here.

reply to post by resoe26


Having met women from all over the world I am happy to report that its largely only British, Canadian, American and Australian females who have a stick stuck up their a** about feminism.

The world is full of women who are happy for a man to be a man and for a women to be a women. They just tend to not live in the USA, UK, Canada and Australia.

Young men should look further a field when searching for a wife.

reply to post by ollncasino


And I would warn all women to watch out (be very leery) of men seeking subservient females.

Originally posted by InTheLight

And I would warn all women to watch out (be very leery) of men seeking subservient females.

If feminism is about choice, why shouldn't a man choose a women who values traditional male and female family roles?

There is a whole world out there. Young men don't have to settle for a feminist.

What makes a good man? What makes a good woman?


As far as I'm concerned, I can't and shouldn't answer the second question since I'm not a woman.

Then again, who am I to objectively answer the first? Is there only one type of good man or good father/son/brother/whatever? Can I even deign to speak for all men?

That's why feminism is so awesome. It gives women and individual voices and choices, irrespective of gender, race and class. There's a lot of baggage with the word, and it's etymologically bankrupt in itself, so egalitarianism sounds better to me, but meh.

I understand that there are many conservatives here who believe that a healthy society is an organic one that has a strong sense of tradition and social order to it. But these traditions and organic means of reformation are, IMO just smokescreens for a natural hierarchy, which to be fair is a key tenet of traditional conservatism.

I think we're past that stage now. There are less limiting ways of doing things. Not all families need a dominant parent and a subservient one. My parents didn't do it that way, and we all turned out just fine... lol. So did many others.

reply to post by ollncasino







I know of a couple of men who when they had split up from their wives have gone on to

import ? buy ? themselves a Thai/Phillipino bride who they then showed off

for 'their youth and housekeeping abilities' to all their friends.....That is till their new wives

got accustomed to their 'freedom' and new style of life and promptly left them for a

younger man!!


So all the men out there IF you're not prepared to put your own 50% into a relationship

look for a woman with "Doormat" tattooed on her forehead

Originally posted by ihavenoaccount

Not all families need a dominant parent and a subservient one.

Yet, don't the vast majority of feminists fight to be the dominant parent?

Originally posted by eletheia
I know of a couple of men who when they had split up from their wives have gone on to

import ? buy ? themselves a Thai/Phillipino bride who they then showed off

for 'their youth and housekeeping abilities' to all their friends.....That is till their new wives

got accustomed to their 'freedom' and new style of life and promptly left them for a

younger man!!

I wouldn't advise any man to buy a mail order bride.

Nor would I advise any young man today to marry an American feminist. Not with a 50% divorce rate (women instigate the majority of divorces) and men being taken to the cleaners in court.