I believe that each person in the relationship should take on the responsibilities that they are best at regardless of their gender.
The person in the relationship who is best at managing financial matters should take on that responsibility,whether it be the man or the woman. It
would be the pinnacle of folly to allow the financially irresponsible person in the relationship to handle the finances just because he is the man. It
would border on insanity to jeopardize the financial security of the relationship just to conform to traditional gender roles.
The same applies to every aspect of the relationship,why not use the individual strengths of each person to create a stronger,more secure and
stable living situation rather than conform to traditional gender roles and have a weak, unstable living situation?
I think the whole stereotype that there needs to be an alpha dog or general in the relationship to call the shots is just complete nonsense and it
only creates problems when people try to live up to that stereotype.
both people should work together contributing their strongest assets to achieving the goals they have in common, such as having a place to live,money
to pay bills, food to eat etc.
personal goals are just that, they are personal to you,so the other person should not be expected to or forced to help you achieve them.
For example, i`m not a pet person, I prefer not to have any pets, but my wife loves pets, the more the merrier seems to be her motto.We have an
understanding that if she wants to have pets i`m not going to try to stop her but she is completely responsible for them. i won`t do anything for
them, she has to feed them,walk them, clean up after them, buy food for them, etc. I won`t even carry a bag of dog food into the house from the
in the same way, I don`t expect her or even ask her to contribute to any of my personal goals and she usually doesn`t, but sometimes she does offer to
help and I accept her help.
My wife used to say things like "we have to go..(here or there or somewhere)" or "we have to do.(this, that or the other)." and my response was always
" I don`t HAVE to do anything except pay taxes and die"
My point was that her opinion of what she felt should be one of my goals was just that, her opinion, and that it was unreasonable,and intrusive of her
to expect me to make it one of my goals just because it was one of her goals.
She no longer says things like that.
I think the important thing to remember about being in a relationship is that you don`t try to become 1 morphed person, you are still 2 individual
people who contribute your best assets to the relationship to create a better life for each of you that you wouldn`t be able to create individually.
I`ve been married for 31 years to the same woman but by no means do I consider myself to be an authority on marriage or relationships i just know what
works for us,and trying to have an alpha dog in our relationship would be a catastrophe,because neither of us will tolerate being told what to do, how
to do it, or when to do it by the other.We both contribute our best assets in a way that is most effective for each of us individually.
I don`t expect her to do things my way and she doesn`t expect me to do things her way.The important thing is that we each do things in a way that is
most effective and efficient for us personally.How you reach the goal isn`t as important as reaching it.
edit on 19-1-2013 by Tardacus because: (no reason given)