I am living with some room-mates who are also my best friends. A new guy has moved in, and since then, women have been treated and talked about like
objects or property on occasion. Common phrases include "I would do her so hard" etc.
This conflicts with one of my favorite past-times, which is hanging out with girls as friends. Girls can be amazing people who tend to be more aware
of their surrounding than guys, and also tend to solve problems based on the situation instead of preconceived belief systems (both supported by
research). I am trying to learn more about this way of life.
One of my room-mates brought his girlfriend over today, who I am friends with, and he started getting possessive and controlling of her. For example,
telling her who she could or could not talk to, including getting nervous when we talked.
Let me start by saying that today was (and still is) an off day for me, but I will try to describe events accurately. The girlfriend asked for my
number (which was natural because we seriously get along). Then she started texting me later in the day asking for advice of what to do about the guy
I'm friends with (he only wants to be friends with benefits and she wants more).
In every instance, I told her to ask him, or to tell him what she thought, or to talk to him about it, or that he wouldn't lie to her.
Well, when I got home, I told the room-mate she had been asking me questions and he got very angry with me about the fact that I had been
communicating with her "behind his back."
I responded by telling him that it was not my fault that he was paranoid, and that he can't be controlling who his girlfriend talks
, and that I wasn't trying to screw him over, and that I responded appropriately to her questions, and
It was a terrible day for finesse for me - this can happen if I get over-stimulated (which happened because there was stupid drama to deal with on
So I have some questions. I would like answers from girls, or from guys who have lived with room-mates.
1) If a guy I'm living with is being overly controlling of his girlfriend because he is insecure, should I intervene?
2) If I happen to make good friends with a girl who is dating one of the guys in my house, and she asks for my number, what do I do? What would be an
appropriate house protocol?
Notice: Girls routinely use the phrase "Isn't it a good thing I am getting along with your room-mates?" and they seriously mean "I really like you,
and I think it is good I am getting along with your room-mates" as well as "I don't find it attractive that you are insecure about who I am talking
to, and I find it a deal-breaker that you try to control who I talk to, I'm not going after any of them."
edit on 18-1-2013 by darkbake
because: (no reason given)