I hate relationships with a passion

reply to post by sarra1833


didn't you ever hug your baby son- toddler son? humans are not so different from certain animals(forget which) that die if sufficient touch is absent. i hope you meet someone who gives you that "you are another myself feeling".
if you quit the relationship with the guy you'll be doing him a favour.

if you still need input like movies etc then something must have distorted your development. having traveled in asia the refreshing thing is that once they agree to sleep with you they dont seem to have ANY sexual hang-ups.

does your attitude change when under the influence of drugs or alcohol?

reply to post by Murgatroid


Dear Murgatroid,

If you're going to quote me, please don't infer what you think I'm saying and stick to the facts.

I stated "you should be speaking to your PARTNER or a PROFESSIONAL".

Talking to one's partner about a relationship problem with them is far better than posting on the internet about it where random people who don't know either parties will contribute, much like your post which actually has zero to do with the OP and is totally out of context. You just seem to have issues with psychiatry, if so post a rant post rather than derailing someone else's post.

Professional, as in my quote, could be a counsellor, a couples guidance counsellor or a psychiatrist (since that was what you inferred)

Tsk tsk, don't do it again!

T

reply to post by elysiumfire


Dear Elysiumfire,

Actually if you took the time to read the responses you apparently are discussing you'll note that most, if not all, are directed at the OP's post. They are not projections of anyone's views, or needs or morals or whatever. Your post however is steeped in defensive sabre rattling. Get back in your box dear, noone was attacking your way of life, or hers in fact.

If she states she is in a relationship and doesn't like it because her partner doesn't appreciate her asexuality and lack of desire to be close, be prepared for people to respond to the content of her post.

For the record, you might think your way of life is great and suits you, but you're outside the "norm" so again don't be sticking your head in the sand thinking everything is fine and dandy and noone has the right to comment.

T

reply to post by sarra1833


I don't want to insult you. But it's very hard to not respond to your post in a negative way. You come off as a very selfish, self-centered, egotistical, narcissist with low self esteem and serious emotional issues.

What exactly was the purpose of you posting this thread? Were you seeking approval or someone to sympathize with you? I feel sorry for boyfriend and your son.

Really though, who are you kidding? Calling yourself an "Ace". You've convinced yourself that your attitude is somehow normal and that you shouldn't even try to improve upon your behavior in your relationships. You've just screwed yourself, your son and your boyfriend.

My son is a loner and is very scared of people, can't stand kids his age or kids period. He's more like a 50 year old stuck in a just turned 18 yo's body really.

It's no surprise that your son has social behavior problems. For the love of God seek some counseling.

I found your OP deeply disturbing on many levels..

Your responses are robotic and devoid of humanity.. Your justifications seem scripted like from an online medical journal or wiki page..

You sound souless :-(

And have passed that trait to your son..

None of the advice on here will reach into you I suspect.. As you have more barriers in your mind than fort knox and the lack of emotivity is inhuman..

You need an emotional awakening.. Your spirit and creativity need to be worked like a muscle.. Which if you dont use it you lose it...

You say its no problem in your justifications.. But it IS a problem because it is very deeply affecting those around you.. But as I suspect.. You wont even register that! Because you are too entrenched by fear of intimacy..

I feel very sorry for and disturbed by you... Please keep your son away from call of duty.. And for all of those in your circles sake.. Get some help...

torqpoc:

...but you're outside the "norm"...

Like I said, you are imposing your view (of what is 'norm') on me. Your response has me thinking that you have utterly missed the meaning of my post entirely. I see no merit in discussing anything further with you.

reply to post by elysiumfire


I am not imposing anything on you - I am not forcing anything either, the two being very similar.

The norm is that yes, people don't stop having sex for 10+ years and think it's fine. Sorry if you don't like the normal state society is in and seek to justify being outside of the norm with some hogwash, but ok, go for it if it suits you. However don't force your views on others either, which is exactly what your post was about, knee jerk reaction to having misread most of the thread.

I never saw any reason to discuss anything with you in the first place, I was just putting you straight, second time around now. Shall we continue to discuss this or do you want to go on your merry way?

T

Your a bit of a lost cause, no offense but you've obviously already made you mind up so kinda wondering what you hoped to get out of this thread.

You might have a label to make your self feel better about your life but what about your sons life? Have you been giving him "one arm cuddles" all his life? Have you been unintentionally projecting your fears and phobias about relationships onto him? Have you even spoken to him to ask why he feels like he does, like find out his thought process on these things?

If I were you I'd have a chat with him and see if, for you, he would and go talk to someone about his feelings... to see if it can improve his mood and well-being!?

Also why can't your boyfriend talk about how your son it perceived by those around him? What's the issue, are you scared to address the problem? Fear your parenting skills being questioned? Don't want to admit your son isn't normal because that would mean your not exactly normal either, as you the teacher?

He's only 18, try and help him now before it gets any worse and 30 years down the line he's starting topics on the internet asking how you hug someone properly and attempting to learn how to cuddle from movies and then masturbating over "hot" girls in computer games???!!!

Doc

Originally posted by sarra1833

Originally posted by obnoxiouschick
usually previous abuse or issues about sex hinder gratification

If it were that easy. It doesn't apply to me.

Asexuality and the spectrum within are legitimate orientations. We can not 'fix' being asexual just as one can not 'fix' being homo or bi or hetero sexual.

I should start a new topic about Asexuality and the Spectrum. We may be rare, but we DO exist and we just are not sexual people. I think people need to become aware of this sexual orientation. :/

As an Ace myself (the kind who dates not nor any of the rest), I think that would be an interesting thread. Perhapes it would help people realize that just because someone falls out of the gender and sexual orientation realm does not necessarily mean they have been traumatized in some way or suffer from a lack of self-esteem.

reply to post by Arles Morningside


really because I have nightmares about a RAPE in a hospital

Originally posted by sarra1833
reply to post by boymonkey74

 

Dogged meaning he said my son is a creepy freak etc. That the entire town talks smack about him and hates him and my bf "can't stand that that is my girlfriends son."

My son is a loner and is very scared of people, can't stand kids his age or kids period. He's more like a 50 year old stuck in a just turned 18 yo's body really.

Unfortunately he is a bi-product of your upbringing and emotional detachment. We didn't get the whole story to why you are the way you are, I guess it really doesn't matter because the damage is done especially to your child whom you mentioned above. I feel sorry for him as that's no way to live life.

Im quite sure there have been studies performed somewhere on this. The only way a person should not have the desire to have sex is through an imbalance of hormones, deep emotional/psychological problems, or a combination of the two. The human body is amazing and is put together in such a way so that we all desire sex when functioning normally. In my personal experience, the only people I have met who did not desire sex have been either "Holy people"(people dedicated and devoted entirely to God, or who they believe is God), or people who had emotional and other psychological problems.

I know you want to feel better for yourself and tell yourself there "is no real reason" why you are the way you are. There is a reason, and no it's not normal. Normal not meaning that everyone should be exactly the same, but from an objective and somewhat scientific perspective, all of our bodies should function and have attractions in pretty much the same way.

Originally posted by Arles Morningside

Originally posted by sarra1833

Originally posted by obnoxiouschick
usually previous abuse or issues about sex hinder gratification

If it were that easy. It doesn't apply to me.

Asexuality and the spectrum within are legitimate orientations. We can not 'fix' being asexual just as one can not 'fix' being homo or bi or hetero sexual.

I should start a new topic about Asexuality and the Spectrum. We may be rare, but we DO exist and we just are not sexual people. I think people need to become aware of this sexual orientation. :/

As an Ace myself (the kind who dates not nor any of the rest), I think that would be an interesting thread. Perhapes it would help people realize that just because someone falls out of the gender and sexual orientation realm does not necessarily mean they have been traumatized in some way or suffer from a lack of self-esteem.

edit on 15-1-2013 by Arles Morningside because: (no reason given)

reply to post by Jameliel


Can't say i'm sorry for not following the 'script'. I know myself and that is sufficient.

Originally posted by Arles Morningside
reply to post by Jameliel

 

Can't say i'm sorry for not following the 'script'. I know myself and that is sufficient.

Not a "script". The body was designed to function in certain ways. Yours is not functioning normally. That's not to say you can't lead a productive and happy life. Perhaps you do. Still, something is very likely not functioning correctly. Somewhere in your body I would bet there is an error.

reply to post by Jameliel


Either that or i'm simply just not a biological robot alone.

Even if you hate the whole world and are hated by it, it should still be natural instinct to know how to love and be loved, and make that deep, personal connection with someone one-on-one. Unfortunately, for some people such as the OP, intimacy -- be it physical or emotional -- is as foreign to them as a distant planet. Their partners will drive themselves mad trying to love someone who just doesn't know how to receive that love or return it.

For someone that has serious intimacy issues. you sure need allot of attention.

asexual?...fine. I have no problem with that.

attention(clearly by the numbers of response
posts) seeker on top on that?

these are conspiracy forums, not a place to wave around
your psychiatric problems.

Hey there OP,

OK, first, I am a guy - a 24 year old guy at that. I have been happily married for 3 years now.

There is nothing wrong with not being interested in sex, in my opinion, so long as your partner doesn't care either. I am not that way. I have a very strong sex drive and had to find a woman that shared that in common with me. My wife is awesome because we have about the same drive. I have a little more than she does, but the point is that we are balanced. Balance is key!

At the same time, I know that some people have a low sex drive because of abuse or trauma. I won't ask you to share anything so personal on here, but consider whether or not that could be the case for you. Second, I know some women that have never experienced a proper orgasm. They aren't interested in sex because they have never been satisfied even once in their life. Consider that also. Finally, I know yet more women that are not into sex because they don't feel comfortable with their body. They are nervous, anxious, embarrassed of how they look. Consider if any of these apply to you. If none of them apply then you probably just have a naturally low sex drive and like I said, there is nothing wrong with that necessarily.

Hugs: If you always hug people with one arm (the "side hug") then you are in fact "hugging wrong." At least, you are hugging your partner in a strange way. Side hugs are for friends, or at work, or church, where you are afraid of sexual harassment lawsuits. Front to front hugs, or front to back hugs are for sexual mates, partners, boyfriends, girlfriends, etc. I find it hard to believe that you have never seen a proper hug before, or "don't know how to hug."

I hate to use TWILIGHT as an example, but THIS is how you hug someone you really care about: youtu.be...

Be open and honest with yourself about your apathy toward sex. Is it natural? Is that your natural drive, or has experience caused a dip in your libido?

Thanks for sharing and I hope this helps.

Cheers,
Cody

You need some serious therapy.

Personally, I find people like you frustrating, annoying, and not worth the time, or rather 'My time'. Of course were I to give you any time once I discovered your perverse lifestyle, it would then be my stupidity.
Girl, your not 'right' nor is any one right that believes as you do. It is dysfunctional.
I won't candy coat it, beyond being just an acquaintance or a coworker, there is no value to having any sort of debasing relationship with you. It's vampiristic any way you address it.
You may argue that your condition exists, but I would argue that it is simple a 'named ailment' a title, which doesn't necessarily give any value or make it healthy. There are a host of behaviors people exhibit, but it scarcely makes them healthy or wholesome..
Continue in your behavior and you will be lonesome and one day die old and alone.

To clarify, this is not an attack, it is the recognition of abnormal behavior. So All I can say is ....Good Day......
And run like hell.........