I hate relationships with a passion

Originally posted by sarra1833
reply to post by boymonkey74

 

Dogged meaning he said my son is a creepy freak etc. That the entire town talks smack about him and hates him and my bf "can't stand that that is my girlfriends son."

My son is a loner and is very scared of people, can't stand kids his age or kids period. He's more like a 50 year old stuck in a just turned 18 yo's body really.

An amazing amount of material in those two pithy sentences. Of course your son is scared and a loner. He's not getting socialization skills from you, and it sounds like he is not getting either the emotional or physical support he needs to grow into a productive and happy young man. Since he is 18 it's probably too late, but at least he is legally an adult and you no longer are legally in charge.

And your "boyfriend" (I use the term reluctantly) is not helping matters. He obviously wants more from the relationship than you are willing to give, and he's whining about it. If I could say one sentence to him, it would be, "Run, Forrest, run as fast as you can away from there because you are wasting your time even being in this sexless, emotionless "relationship." This is something he should have learned by age 57. I doubt it's something he hasn't seen befroe. He doesn't have many years left and you don't have an ounce of sympathy for him. He needs to get out. I don't know what you are getting out of it, but I don't see you putting anything into it.

Instead every week or so you let it all out on ATS about your latest drama. Whether it's your latest move, gettng a job (Yay!) realizing it's not that good a job (Boo!) or your latest medical issues--you criticize HIM when you tell us all about it? You live your emotional life here in a serial Soap Opera you present in segments. And if anyone criticizes your Issue Of The Week, you lash out at them on how wrong they are.

So 1) Make a book out of your story. 2) Get counseling. 3) Get counseling for your son. 4) Dump the so-called "boyfriend." He'll be much happier for it. 5) Get off ATS. You're addicted. You need a real life and this ain't it.

Originally posted by schuyler

Originally posted by sarra1833
reply to post by boymonkey74

 

Dogged meaning he said my son is a creepy freak etc. That the entire town talks smack about him and hates him and my bf "can't stand that that is my girlfriends son."

My son is a loner and is very scared of people, can't stand kids his age or kids period. He's more like a 50 year old stuck in a just turned 18 yo's body really.

An amazing amount of material in those two pithy sentences. Of course your son is scared and a loner. He's not getting socialization skills from you, and it sounds like he is not getting either the emotional or physical support he needs to grow into a productive and happy young man. Since he is 18 it's probably too late, but at least he is legally an adult and you no longer are legally in charge.

And your "boyfriend" (I use the term reluctantly) is not helping matters. He obviously wants more from the relationship than you are willing to give, and he's whining about it. If I could say one sentence to him, it would be, "Run, Forrest, run as fast as you can away from there because you are wasting your time even being in this sexless, emotionless "relationship." This is something he should have learned by age 57. I doubt it's something he hasn't seen befroe. He doesn't have many years left and you don't have an ounce of sympathy for him. He needs to get out. I don't know what you are getting out of it, but I don't see you putting anything into it.

Instead every week or so you let it all out on ATS about your latest drama. Whether it's your latest move, gettng a job (Yay!) realizing it's not that good a job (Boo!) or your latest medical issues--you criticize HIM when you tell us all about it? You live your emotional life here in a serial Soap Opera you present in segments. And if anyone criticizes your Issue Of The Week, you lash out at them on how wrong they are.

So 1) Make a book out of your story. 2) Get counseling. 3) Get counseling for your son. 4) Dump the so-called "boyfriend." He'll be much happier for it. 5) Get off ATS. You're addicted. You need a real liofe and this ain't it.

I appreciate your opinions and thank you for posting. We are all allowed our feelings and opinions. If we weren't, it'd be a boring world. And I love my ATS family and 99% of them love me. I've made some amazing friends while on here. And nah, I'm not addicted to ATS.

Facebook and Steam on the other hand, yup. We all gotta have something fun to do besides work, right?

edit to add: I, as far as I know, have never lashed out at anyone on here for any reason. I respect all opinions and feelings if I agree with them or not. After all, one never knows if someone elses opinion may open the mind to a new way of looking at things. We all learn from each other after all. Why criticize that potential?

This post makes me sad.

Love and companionship and belonging is an important part of the human experience. If you have no libido, you most likely have a hormonal imbalance of some type. Don't give up!

Pft! Actually, i'm not surprised by your state OP. I hate relationships with a passion too, always did.

In fact we should expect more people to turn asexual in the near future as romance and marriage has been exposed by the system for the total joke that it is. I will never get why women , especially are so obseess with the "relationship" idea, as if they can only be fulfilled by it.

Originally posted by rimjaja
This post makes me sad.

Love and companionship and belonging is an important part of the human experience. If you have no libido, you most likely have a hormonal imbalance of some type. Don't give up!

BS!!! Maybe in an ideal world where those so-called needs can be fulfilled "righteously" with dignity, maybe then it will be important. In a world where human beings are reduced to disposable "breeders" that need to be controlled well, relationships are definitely overrated!

Aww even an asexual who shows little emotion has more luck in love than me. Whiskey here I come! You are you and don't need to apologize or explain yourself to anyone. I like the fact that you are straight forward! More women and men should be. Maybe you need to just surround yourself with friends instead of trying to be in a relationship.

You definitely seem to be exhibiting symptoms of this:

Schizophrenia
Definition
Schizophrenia is a psychotic disorder (or a group of disorders) marked by severely impaired thinking, emotions, and behaviors. Schizophrenic patients are typically unable to filter sensory stimuli and may have enhanced perceptions of sounds, colors, and other features of their environment. Most schizophrenics, if untreated, gradually withdraw from interactions with other people, and lose their ability to take care of personal needs and grooming.

Disorganized
Disorganized schizophrenia (formerly called hebephrenic schizophrenia) is marked by disorganized speech, thinking, and behavior on the patient's part, coupled with flat or inappropriate emotional responses to a situation (affect). The patient may act silly or withdraw socially to an extreme extent. Most patients in this category have weak personality structures prior to their initial acute psychotic episode.

No doubt you should require a mate to respect your boundaries......at the same time you should speak to someone about why those boundaries have been set and what causes you to remove yourself from affection.

Sarra,

Sorry to hear about your strife.
Klass said

I don't claim to be a psychic, seer, shaman, or anything else of the sort.

But, and I apologize for not "following" your threads.....
the last time I saw you in a thread I was following, you were about to have some serious surgery; you had invited people to submit a photo (of at least their eyes) so you might read their "past lives" ------ and then had 'cancelled' the offer due to upcoming ill health......

If that is true, and

if you are able to read 'past lives', like "seer" or "psychic" or "shaman" or anything else of the sort......
have you considered that your current conundrum is possibly the result of a 'past life' trauma?

Originally posted by wildtimes
......have you considered that your current conundrum is possibly the result of a 'past life' trauma?

You seem to be a very kind and loving person. Thanks for showing your love to this member.

I do believe there has been trauma, more likely in this life though. She may not wish to speak of it but I'm sure she knows or has an idea from where it stems. Self discovery and eventual acceptance with a pro could be such a positive step in her life imo.

reply to post by schuyler


The Dark emperor smacks down some truth. Sometimes it hurts, let me tell you.

Originally posted by ezekielken
reply to post by schuyler

 

The Dark emperor smacks down some truth. Sometimes it hurts, let me tell you.

What hurts more is the result of unkind, judgmental lambasting of a member that finds herself in a bit of a twist. Live long enough and you too will experience similar. We don't know her situation so we can't make sweeping judgments of this human being.

reply to post by kinglizard

Self discovery and eventual acceptance with a pro could be such a positive step in her life imo.

I agree....
I was (before I retired) one of those 'pros', and I believe EVERYONE, regardless of how healthy and well-adjusted, or the opposite (who are suffering), can benefit from professional counseling.

I started in therapy (as a client) in my early 20s...it helped me SO MUCH as I grew, as I parented my kids, as I tried to 'decipher' my personality and relationship "skills" ---

and eventually I wound up (at about her current age) going to graduate school to learn more.....

counseling is ALWAYS a good idea!

Thanks for the feedback, btw, kl!
~wild

What an inspirational woman!

All I see is someone who hates themselves. You cant love someone if you don't love yourself. I have a friend who is also asexual and hugs like a cold fish the two times she has over the many years. Just by what you are saying your sacral chakra is out of balance.When this chakra is out of balance, issues regarding self respect, fear of losing control, financial loss, ability to survive and thrive, and poorly balanced relationships will be present. Eating issues such as anorexia and bulimia, along with buried emotions and depression are associated with an unbalanced second chakra.
Blockages can manifest into sexual problems such as infertility, impotence, lack of sexual desire, and physical awkwardness, all having their roots within this second energy center.

Everything in this world has to be balanced so if you close yourself off sexually and seems emotionally as well to this guy then what's in it for him? You might as well be a sister. Take care and hope you get help and maybe check your hormone levels.

Originally posted by MamaJ
reply to post by sarra1833

 

You have not had sex in 11 years? Did I read that correctly?

um what is wrong with that?

OMG I have just read some of the replies...

sheesh

not everyone wants sex... it doesnt mean there is anything wrong. I would rather go out and have a rump steak with mushroom sauce.

Sex is over rated and boring. how many people have sexual relationships that end up fizzing out in a short time? heaps of people..why? cos that is the only thing they had going on. They are not friends or have shared interests.

reply to post by sarra1833


Being Asexual isn't a problem. Liking comic cons isn't a problem, but there's no connection there. You started off ranting about how you can't have a relationship with a man 18 years your senior, or ANY man for that matter, then you derail your own thread by conversating with Doc holidaze about comic cons. You're running from your own issue. Not to be mean, but why ask for help when you keep running from it?

Again, being asexual isn't really the issue. If you find it hard to even hug a man.................that's where it's at. I know you know that it isn't normal to feel that being close to someone is unnatural. If you didn't feel that way you wouldn't have started this conversation. I don't know what you've been through that has gotten you to this point, but that guy you're living with wasn't the cause of it. Don't take it out on him. He doesn't deserve to be a casualty of your private little war.

It just sounds to me like you need someone with a high level of maturity, understanding and patience to help you through whatever it is you need to get through so you can be emotionally close to a man. That someone might be what some people refer to as a “Soul Driver” Someone who knows how to get to the heart of a matter without really trying that hard. If you don't get to that point soon Sarra you're going to start feeling a disconnect with your own son. Blood or no blood, he's going to be a man at some point and if you don't resolve this issue you have it's going to bleed over onto him.

reply to post by sarra1833


F**k my ex missus used to demand a ranson for sex.. I thought she must of been working as a prostitute when she said she was working at the grocery store. But I think she was very similar too what you are to be honest.

Originally posted by Thurisaz
OMG I have just read some of the replies...

sheesh

not everyone wants sex... it doesnt mean there is anything wrong. I would rather go out and have a rump steak with mushroom sauce.

Sex is over rated and boring. how many people have sexual relationships that end up fizzing out in a short time? heaps of people..why? cos that is the only thing they had going on. They are not friends or have shared interests.

You just SAID exactly what I was thinking!!

Thank GOD that sarra has enough sense to ignore all those who are paralyzed from the neck up telling her she should "put out" and see a shrink.

I am SOOO thankful for the sarra's of this world who are more interested in doing what's right instead of being "normal".

I see sarra as one of the FEW normal ones here.

The rest of you need to get a clue...

How is that even considered a relationship, its more of an acquaintanceship.