posted on Jan, 10 2013 @ 07:03 PM
I know my response may not be seen as a popular one, but my hand to God I am not saying these things maliciously or in an unkind way. I am a firm
believer that everyone goes through things in life, but that it is the way we perceive it and cope with it that makes the difference. I am very
sorry to hear you lost your job, these are rough times. But please know that this isn't just you that has lost their job, it isn't a personal
thing, it just sucks. You can dwell on it and sit around wondering why me, but why? Just get out there and start looking for a new job or maybe
even start doing your own thing. Nobody is owed a job as far as I am concerned. Hubby and I didn't like the options out there for someone with no
degrees so we started our own computer repair company 11 years ago. We taught ourselves along the way, but we made our own job since there wasn't
much out there other than minimum wage jobs. I could have gotten upset over this and tried to put it off on someone else, but companies are in the
business of making money, not providing jobs.
I am really sorry to hear about your accident, that is awful and makes me angry for you that the insurance company took so long. How are you doing
now? Have you healed ok? Again though, one of those things that just sucks when it happens, but sometimes there are no great 'whys' to be had.
Sometimes # happens, but what sort of person do you want to be? Do you want to be the person who sits around nursing the wounds and crying 'why me?'
or do you want to keep living life and just accept that it happened?
Your mom's situation while scary and sad is NOT happening to you, it is happening to your mother. She is the one enduring this, not you. If I were
you I'd be researching every possible alternative treatment and helping her through this so she doesn't have to endure it on her own. Just love
her and be there for her if you can. Although even with that said, I don't know what I would do if I were in your shoes. My mother means everything
to me, but I could never make it about me, know what I mean?
I am sorry to hear about your grandmother as well. I recently lost my own grandmother or as we called her Granny to cancer. She was diagnosed with
cancer about the same time that my Papa had to be put in the dementia unit of the nursing home because she simply couldn't care for herself and him
too. She did chemo and radiation and it was so hard to see her slowly dying like that. It wasn't even the cancer that did the worst damage, it was
the treatments. Then my Papa stopped eating and Granny said no feeding tube, just let him go. He died three days after he stopped eating, it was
awful to see him wither away and die like he did, simply awful. The day of his funeral my Granny got the test results back that said the chemo and
radiation didn't work, that the cancer (uterine) had spread through her entire body. We moved her in with my cousin and I moved in too so that my
cousin and I could be her caretakers. For three long weeks we watched her die, I can't even describe how hard this was. But I had to remind myself
that my job was to be there for her, to take care of her, love her and let her know that it was ok to leave this world. I didn't want her to worry
about any of us, I just wanted her to go out peacefully knowing that everything would be ok. I knew that I would allow myself time to grieve after
she had passed on because her illness and death had to be hers. I couldn't make it about me and my grief, that would have been selfish of me. If
you want more time with her then you need to get past the excessive manners thing. Make yourself a fixture in the room, I'm not even kidding.
People will move around you. But this lets your grandmother know that you are there to see her through till the end and that you are not going
anywhere. Stop worrying about crowding, these are her last days and I can imagine she wants to see everyone. Other people will see that you are a
fixture and that to see her means seeing you too. I say this out of experience as I had to do this three times over the past two years. I didn't
even mention my cousin who was actually more like a grandparent that died just the month after my Granny. Those three we jokingly called The Three
Musketeers! They were a huge part of my life and I miss them dearly. They all died within three months time, first Papa, then three weeks later
Granny, then a month later "Shorts" (my cousin.. he was a football coach in his younger years and was very short 5' and that is what the players
called him.. p.s. he coached Patrick Swayze in football!!"
Anyway, you really just need to be more assertive in order to see her more. Don't get hung up on hurting peoples feelings, if your grandma wants you
to leave, she will ask you to leave the room, otherwise sit your ass down and stay put! That was my motto while going through the death of three
loved ones anyway.