What "you" would emerge from a spurt of amnesia?, page


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reply posted on 10-1-2013 @ 05:07 AM by zedVSzardoz
reply to post by Grimpachi



Damn man,

Sorry to hear that. I am glad it is behind you. I hope it becomes just a fading memory and that you are able to focus on more positive things in your life as time passes.

I imagine it would not be pleasant. I see how it would be scary and make you freak out. Like you said though, you are never the same after. What I was trying to say before is that we are unique even unto ourselves. There will never be another you as you are right now....kind of makes you appreciate who and what you are now, instead of living in what if´s and could of´s.

Thank you for your service bro.
Have a good one.

edit on 10-1-2013 by zedVSzardoz because: (no reason given)




reply posted on 10-1-2013 @ 06:08 AM by Bedlam
Yeah, cracked my head on a jump. Twice, I guess, if you go all the way back to Ft Benning.

It's really odd when you can't remember much.

I don't remember the actual impact, nor parts of the day before it. I suddenly became aware I was being carried by people. It was like being in transit to somewhere, you're on a plane, then suddenly you're being packed along by people you don't know, with just a blurry confusion for a transition. Big headache. I knew that I knew them.

I knew that I trusted them. I knew I was ok. But I couldn't tell you who I was, nor who they were, nor where I was, nor what the heck I was doing there. Just a sense of intense familiarity.

And every few minutes it would wipe clean and I'd have to start over. I was aware this was happening, but not what had happened the time prior. Just a sense that I was constantly losing lock on what was happening. So I just laid back and let it flow.

Eventually the resetting thing stopped and I still didn't know who I was nor anything else. I knew words, that wasn't an issue. But not names of things. Categories of concepts were gone. I could tell you something was a tree, but not what sort. When we stopped, the guys would ask if I knew them. Nope. Aren't you my brother? My uncle? (at least I didn't ask if they were my Dad like at Ft B).

After about an hour, I got first names. It took about four before I got mine back. That was really odd. Six hours in I was 100%, but I never recalled the jump.

However, I never lost a sense of me. I couldn't tell you my name, but I recall the whole thing from just before the restarting thing quit, and I was me the whole time, just me with no long term memories.


reply posted on 10-1-2013 @ 06:17 AM by Grimpachi
reply to post by zedVSzardoz



Thinking about the should of and could of will drive into despair and madness. There are a million things I would do different if a time machine existed but it is not healthy to dwell on such things. You are right I am putting it all behind me but it is a slow process which is easier said than done but I am doing it. There are times I wished I never regained my memory but when I didn’t have it I was completely lost and all I wanted was to find out who I was.

I have never met anyone who has gone through the same thing so I don’t know how others have felt about it but that was my experience from it. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.


Thanks for the kind words


reply posted on 10-1-2013 @ 07:46 AM by zedVSzardoz
reply to post by Bedlam




Interesting story man. So you still kept a sense of who you were but couldnt process the information is what you are saying?

So you never lost track of "you", just the little things and details. That is really interesting. I cant help but wonder what that might feel like. Not that I want to go through something like what you went through to find out. It doesnt itch that bad, I am just curious.

Like if in that state of only "knowing of" who you are, if you were to describe yourself, what would you say? What would be different, if anything, from what you would say at 100%.

In any event, glad you are doing Ok.

Stop jumping out of airplanes and so as to land kicking ass like some sort of superhero.....

have a good one bud.

edit on 10-1-2013 by zedVSzardoz because: (no reason given)



reply posted on 10-1-2013 @ 05:17 PM by Bedlam
Originally posted by zedVSzardoz

Like if in that state of only "knowing of" who you are, if you were to describe yourself, what would you say? What would be different, if anything, from what you would say at 100%.


The other guys were more worried than I was. I wasn't concerned at the time. I would have expected to be, but looking back, I just cruised through it. It was like the whole thing was a big fun puzzle to solve, or a test I was taking. The lack of memory was more annoying than scary, although I'm not sure why.



Stop jumping out of airplanes and so as to land kicking ass like some sort of superhero.....


It just gets you there faster, as long as you don't get blown into the tree line. The first time, that was my Amazing Grace in action. I had easily the worst PLF you could muster and still pass. The first time I hit stiff as a plank and sprained pretty much every muscle I had. After I got dog cussed, I tried the second one limp as a noodle and manage to knee myself in the face. Lights out.

I woke up flat on my back with a ring of people staring down at me (reminds me of that Far Side "Custer's Last View"). One of the black hats said "Son, are you ok?" I recall just staring at him, mind totally empty, ears ringing, and he said "Who am I?", to which I replied "Dad?" Now, you gotta understand, he actually did look like Dad, and Dad had been a Ranger NCO for most of my young life, so having grown up with a parent who sorta ACTED like the instructor, it wasn't totally off. However, I ate # for that for months. "Boy, you thumped the damn dirt like 200 pounds of wet dog food in a sack, I told you not to lock your knees, not act like a wet noodle"
edit on 10-1-2013 by Bedlam because: (no reason given)



reply posted on 11-1-2013 @ 02:22 AM by zedVSzardoz
reply to post by deadeyedick



see that was what I was thinking about as well. Being able to overcome inhibitions or personal barriers (in a constructive way). Could a coward emerge a hero, a hero a villain, ect...

It makes you wonder what exactly is the constant in our mind.

I dont know if people believe in reincarnation or recycling souls or what ever, but if that WAS true, how could your "soul" express itself in a new life? What I ask this thread to do for me, on a personal level, is to reveal a little bit about the soul. I dont think it is just our minds chemical make up. The mind can be erased but there is always still something to you, there is always a YOU that is present. That to me is the soul without the clutter of what we have programmed our minds with.


reply posted on 11-1-2013 @ 02:24 AM by zedVSzardoz
reply to post by usernameconspiracy



that is interesting. This is a really interesting subject for me. I wonder how it felt for him. I would bet it wasnt like a conscious decision to "like" this or that, it was probably instinct. Like auto pilot of the senses.


reply posted on 11-1-2013 @ 02:28 AM by zedVSzardoz
reply to post by Bedlam



LOL

that was fun to read, though I am sure that at the time it sucked....

"dad"...priceless....

at least you got some good stories from the less than perfect jumps....lol
edit on 11-1-2013 by zedVSzardoz because: (no reason given)


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