Today was a pretty standard day at work. I own a custom hardwood flooring installation, refinishing, and repair company, that operates with 11
employees and specializes in exotic species.
Exotics are not something stocked or offered in general distributors like Home Depot, Lowe's, Flooring America, or even Lumber Liquidators. This
limited local market supply led to the opening of our exotics-dedicated custom mill that produces only exotic species, dictated by the exact
specifications requested by our customers.
My dad stopped by about 45 minutes ago, as he usually does 1-2 times a week. Today's visit was unique, as a result of what he brought with him.
When he walked in, he laid a zip-loc bag on my desk and told me it was the kind of candy I have always liked (red-hot firballs - the round, red,
moderately hot, jawbreakers)
I didn't think much of it, because he will drop things off like that every so often. He said they were a new & different flavor than what I have had
Since I like the fireballs and this was a new flavor, well, I just had to give one a go.
Popped it in my mouth and continued our conversation. At about 4.329 seconds in, I noticed something was wrong... very wrong... very, very, very,
very, very, very, very wrong - very wrong, very, very wrong!
S harp pain shot from the top of my tongue, to the bottom of my chin. It was accompanied with an immediate running nose, severely watering eyes, and
ears that were literally ablaze with pain.
My tastebuds, even some I never knew I had, felt as if someone had stuck a needle into my tongue and pumped it full of pure hell-fire, taken directly
from the surface of the Sun, until it exploded.
Not localized only to my tongue, but also the roof of my mouth, my gums, my jaws, and I think even my teeth were burning with un-thinkably
excrutiating pain. It was so insanely hot that it made my forearms ache, my legs and hands tremble, my toes curl, and the surface of my ear-drums hurt
with a screeching pain that I can't even describe.
The pain was literally so intense, I could no longer bear and I actually started to cry!!
I know it must sound like I am a cry-baby, but I promise, I am not exaggerating the astronomic height of the intense pain.
At this point my dad and I were freaking out! One of his long-time friends gave them to him as an ingredient used to spice up different dishes. They
should be crushed and added, sparingly, to the ingredients of the selected recipe.
His friend didn't warn him of just hot hot these things really are. Their smell does very little to warn of their extremely potent flavor. In-fact,
they have a very mild, somewhat pleasing, flowery-sweet, terrifically mis-leading aroma. He doesn't like 'fireball candies', so he gave them to me
to check if I liked them.
IN NO CAPACITY, ANYWHERE IN KNOWN REALITY, WILL I EVER LIKE THESE ABOMINATIONS of MOTHER NATURE - THEY SHOULD BE ERADICATED, THEN ENTIRELY REMOVED
FROM ALL HISTORICAL RECORDS and REFERENCES!
An hour after tasting the pepper, the symptoms began to subside and I started a mission to identify this WMD (Weapon of Mouth
It didn't take long to figure it out...
The curse upon all of mankind is called Naga Bhut Jolokia
Sometimes it goes by other names, such as: ghost pepper, ghost chile pepper, red naga chilli, ghost chile.
Some other names for it - Satan, Lucifer, and Hitler's Right Hand (not really, but those are the names I would choose to best describe it).
If you have never heard of this pepper, I suggest not searching it out, if you plan to taste it directly & without it's dilution into ingredients of
a larger dish.
What's more frightening than a pepper that makes you feel like you have sucking on a lolli-pop made out of pure molten lava? The fact that it is NOT
the hottest pepper on Earth;
In 2007, Guinness World Records certified that the Bhut Jolokia was the world's hottest chili pepper, 10,000 times hotter than
Tabasco sauce!!!!!*; however, it has since been superseded by the Trinidad Moruga Scorpion. New Mexico State University's Chile
Pepper Institute states that it is still the hottest chile pepper that is commercially available
I am very under-educated when it comes to measuring heat in this manner, but maybe some of you will know that the description below means;
Scoville Scale Rating
The Scoville scale is the measurement of the pungency (spicy heat) of chili peppers.
In 2000, India's Defence Research Laboratory (DRL) reported a rating of 855,000 heat units (SHU) on the Scoville scale, and
in 2004 a rating of 1,041,427 units was made using HPLC analysis. For comparison, Tabasco red pepper sauce rates at
2,500–5,000, and pure capsaicin (the chemical responsible for the pungency of pepper plants) rates at 16,000,000
As A Weapon
It is used as a food and a spice as well as a remedy to summer heat, presumably by inducing perspiration in the consumer. In northeastern India,
the peppers are smeared on fences or incorporated in smoke bombs as a safety precaution to keep wild elephants at a distance
In 2009, scientists at India's Defence Research and Development Organisation announced plans to use the peppers in hand grenades, as a non lethal
way to flush out terrorists from their hideouts and to control rioters. It will also be developed into pepper spray as a self-defense
The images in the link do not match the description of how I experienced the 'Ghost Pepper. The pepper has been processed and packaged in a ball
shape, presumably for spacial and shelf life consideration.
So there we have it, the source of today's cry-baby session!
I would not recommend using this pepper in anything. I probably wouldn't use it against enemies at war time!... ok, maybe I would, but ther is no
other time I would suggest it's use.
To those of you out there who are interested in learning more about the pepper, it's uses and where they can be purchased, visit the above and below
links in this thread:
Purchase the Ghost Pepper Online
Purchase Ghost Pepper Seeds Online
Ghost Pepper Dedicated Wiki Page