posted on Jan, 3 2013 @ 10:59 PM
After my last grandfather passed. I stopped attending church. I begand to question god and I hurt. I was in pain. My grandfathers were my fathers. My
real father was long gone and my Sfather almost hated me. I later learned that he was jeaalous because I looked and acted so much like my real dad
that it disgusted him.
Anyway, I had lost the only two men in my life that taught me truly great things. I got to visit my mothers father about four days before he passed.
We were told he was just sick and would come home soon. Before I left he kissed us all on the foreheads and took my by the hand. He bagan crying and
asked one thing of me " Be a good man, son, just be a good man." These were the last words he spoke to me in that body. I have never forgotten them
and I try to live by them everyday.
At the age of 18 I had been through so many fights within my family that I decided being homeless was better. So I packed my bags the night before my
birthday and the next day I blew out my candles" ate a slice of cake, hugged my mother and told her I love her. I grabbed my bags and left in my 96'
monte carlo. I stayed with a friend for about a month then his mother threw me out. (I spent the next four years either sleeping on my car or on the
floor at a friends house.) I stopped going to school and got a full time job working of the morning. My principal would call my cell phone every
morning and beg me to come to school that day. He would offer to buy me breakfast and give me the gas money. I was a smart kid, am smart, but I
despised school because I saw right through it. I pretty much knew everything they were teaching in 12 grade, and what I didnt know I knew I could
teach myself. I decided to go to school one morning on a day off from work. The principal told me to come on my days off and he would let me walk on
grad day and let me hold a "dummy" diploma. He said he never did this for anyone else. I had to attend a summer school class to take some tests to
see if I knew the material... sailed righ through it all... except math. Im great at math in my mind but when Im doing it on paper Something stops me
and I get this mental block.
well, i never went to college, just sat around gathering knowledge, working little jobs. Funny thing is, every job Ive ever had Ive been promoted
within around 3 months of starting. Ive been a team lead, a assistant manager, a crew supervisor, and a practical manager without the title.... and
I'm 25 with no college degree.
I began seeking out my spiritualism a few years back, I went through a lot of beliefs. Atheist, pantheist, wiccan, toaism, hindusim, and others. I
couldnt find any one that agreed with my core beliefs. So I stopped looking for a label and just started exploring what I believed. I started thinking
philosophically. I meditated every chance I could get. Many times in public. I taught myself to Lucid dream. I mastered it in a year. I decided to
develop my psychic abilities i knew laid dorment inside me. Though i will not call it psychic, I refer to it as simply mastering intuition. too much
hype around psychics and i wasnt doing this for the publicity or fame or popularity. I have very very few friends today. I developed a test which
involed the colors of the rainbow, and I became proficient at it. I began sensing peoples words before they spoke them. I have deja vu regularly.
I spent much of my time meditating. then one day I realized I had achieved something. I felt an energy flow through me. It felt like
electricity+goosebumps/coldchill. I realized I could control the movement and release of this energy. To this day I still control it. I got to a point
to where when I would "flex" this energy my intuition would increase in proficiency.
I heard about healing and I decided to try it. taking a practical stanse toward it, I decided to start small. When someone would say they had a head
ache I would touch their head and imagine a flow of dark smoke moving from their head through my arm to me and golden smoke from me to them. I would
then get a head ache and moments later they would state theirs was gone. Ive done this many times... though i prefer not to as it hurts. :/
It seems that when I take their pain I recieve it. Almost like an exchange of energy. I now only do this for my family and when my son is sick I take
it almost every time. I get the sniffles, he clears up within hours then I fall ill.... sucks but it is what it is.
I have also learned to take energy from people, though Ive only done it a few times because of the guilt I feel afterwards is tremendous.
I now believe in most of the buddhas teachings, and some of christs. I believe certain people reach a certain level of knowledge and are tasked with
teaching it and helping the world. Thats what I believe today. That the buddha, christ, and others like them were simply teachers that sought to help
If i am anything, I believe I am a teacher.