reply to post by Bluesma
Charismatic or Superficial charm
Self confidence or Grandiosity
Ability to influence or Manipulation
Persuasive or Con artist
Visionary thinking or Fabrication of intricate stories
Ability to take risks or Thrill seeking
Action oriented or Impulsive
Ability to make hard decisons or Emotionally poor
I have been involved with several of these people, and the right hand versions of these traits are so accurate! HUGE tipoff is the grandiosity and
intricate stories. When you try to get to the bottom of the story, it never pans out.
Here's one from my personal experience - told to me by someone who was in her mid-thirties, with children, but only weekend supervised visits, who was
"temporarily" staying at her parents' house. I later found out she was addicted to methadone, although I did not know of the addiction until much
later as I had moved to a different state and we only talked by phone occasionally. Bear in mind, this is not taking place in an inner city housing
unit, this story is supposedly taking place in upper suburbia, in a 51 plus community in Colorado, surrounded by grassland, and the parents in the
story are intelligent, middle class retirees.
There will be some fragment that is true, in this case, it was "my brother's ex-girlfriend followed him from California to Colorado". This is
followed by a huge part that is false, "...so she came into my parents' house, and went to my room and stole money out of my drawer, so I called the
police and she was cussing at me and wouldn't leave until they came but then she ran away and they couldn't find her."
It sounds possible on the surface, but a bit odd, considering the background info above, right? So you ask questions, but you will never get
satisfactory answers from the person with these psycopathic traits.
Consider the flaws in the story and eventually you realize the truth - in this particular case, it was that the person telling the story was an addict
and broke, and was telling a cover story to provide an explanation that would make the listener feel sympathetic "what, that evil wench your brother
broke up with stole your money?"
The over-elaborate story puts the listener into a mode of empathy with focus on the parents "...oh, your poor parents, what were they supposed to do
to get rid of her?", the brother with the evil ex-girlfriend "that poor guy", and oh yeah, as an afterthought (so as to keep you from focusing on the
fact this is all actually an un-asked-for excuse) the sibling whose money was purportedly stolen "all that mess of a scene and she stole your money
For those who think I may be one-sided - another trait is that the stories you get are JUST believable enough to leave some questions.... It MIGHT
have really happened, right? After 15 years-ish of processing and trying to take these stories at face value, I finally realized that I had 3 people
in my life who shared this particular trait and started to examine how that could be. I realized I was naiive and took too much at face value and
needed to protect myself better. Now, over 10 years after ending the last of these relationships, I can identify these stories a mile away.
You WANT to be sympathetic and kind, but these people take advantage and take and take and never give, and if you aren't obedient, they get angry with
you and try to punish you. When you find yourself constantly trying to figure out how you wound up as the one in the wrong, and the person is blaming
you for not "understanding" their difficult circumstances, while you think you are bending over backwards for them... You may be involved with
somebody like this.
In my case, it wasn't until after I had bought the person and her brother plane tickets to come to my state, picked them up at the airport, let them
stay at my house for a week for work that never surfaced, and then finally bought more tickets to send them back to whence they came, that I finally
realized what I had been dealing with.
Ack, mini-rant over. But seriously - these people are out there and it's very hard to recognize them until you get away from them and see it from a
edit on 4-0120131-1313 by gwynnhwyfar because: (no reason given)