Raised in "Christian" home, but not really "Christian"?

To me, the word Christian means "to be Christ-like". I know that the average family cannot live exactly as Christ did, traveling around teaching, and living with the bare basics. I do think that the average family can mirror Christ's attitude and teachings with the order of their lives, as well as how they treat and interact with other people.

I grew up with parents who called themselves "Christian". It was mostly my dad who led the family this way since my mom just followed him. My grandfather was a pastor and who I considered a real christian. My dad somehow was totally different from him, and though he forced us all to go to church several times a week, many things made no sense. Every single night we weren't in church, myself and my siblings were forced to sit down and read at least 3-chapters of the bible out loud. This would be after my father loudly played his guitar and sang "christian" songs. I always hated the singing part, and sometimes even the reading of the bible when I wanted to play instead.

Over the years, we read through the bible 3 complete times. Now to the outside viewer, it would appear my father was a good christian man. He spoke calmly around them, was jovial and polite, and overall seemed like a great guy. At home it was a different story. He constantly yelled and berated the entire family. Called us names and did a variety of other things which I don't feel like listing. This is not to say my father was an evil man, I think he truly believed his way was right. As I grew older, I realized how wicked and corrupt those ways were,. My mother was also wicked with her cursing and constant screaming. In fact I believe in many ways, the way my parents lived and raised us only serves to attract negative forces even more than being in a regular non-christian household.

As an adult, I have wondered at times how someone such as my dad could go so many years living a kind of lie the way he has. Now he is much better than when we were children, but somehow I still feel he is in error with many things. The way he thinks and follows blindly. "The Lord" this, "The Lord" that. It would be long-winded to explain in more detail, but I think this gives a decent idea of what I'm talking about so far.

I wonder about others experiences in relation to this. Growing up in a "Christian" household, that really wasn't christian at all.

Jesus is for sinners, man. If you aren't a sinner, you don't need Jesus. Sounds like your family was a bunch of sinners.

Sounds very Christian to me.

reply to post by Jameliel


i have problems with people calling themselves by religeous labels.

did not christ himself say to pray to the father?
now various sects pray to his mother, saints, and christ.

i have found the bible to be a great source of wisdom and knowledge and an infuence on my life.
but other faiths also are sources of wisdom and knowledge, so imo, we should respect others and not claim that one group has total knowledge.

i personally find religeous labels nerve ratling and prefer to just pray to our father in haven.

reply to post by citizen6511

did not christ himself say to pray to the father?

Yes, he indeed did. But, the church will tell you to pray to Brother. Above has since accepted this, because of what has taken place.

but other faiths also are sources of wisdom and knowledge, so imo, we should respect others and not claim that one group has total knowledge.

Yes. Each major religion, each has pieces of the truth. No one has the total truth of what is.

reply to post by Jameliel

Every single night we weren't in church, myself and my siblings were forced to sit down and read at least 3-chapters of the bible out loud. This would be after my father loudly played his guitar and sang "christian" songs. I always hated the singing part, and sometimes even the reading of the bible when I wanted to play instead.

"SOMETIMES"?!!!
Holy cow....your description above sounds horrible!

At least you get to play now, rather than feeling you have to read the bible every evening and/or go to church!

and, to answer your OP, although I was not brought up that way (we went to church on Sundays only, and I hated Sundays anyway, because when I was a kid, it was so abysmally boring and quiet), my husband was (including the screaming and other unsavory and horrible behaviors going on amongst these "Church-going" adults).

You said "Lord, this", and "Lord, that".....
I know someone who describes her mother as saying, "God, god. And God, God....and God."

And she's (the mother) not very nice to people.

As a Christian, it bothers me so much when I hear stories like this. I do not like when people force their lifestyle on anyone. They probably had good intentions but what really resulted was driving you away from the very thing they were trying to instill in you.

If we focus on people rather than focusing on Jesus, and the values He brought forth, we will always be disappointed.

Hopefully you haven't lost your faith in the faith.

I haven't. It enabled me to separate most of the fake from the real, and the truth from lies and twisted half-truths.


reply to post by micmerci

Question OP:

Did you guys have a Christmas tree growing up? Was your dad one of the Christians that took the Bible as it was written and wouldn't allow a Christmas tree into his house because it violates the teachings of the Bible?

reply to post by Jameliel

You must realize that your parents were just trying to do the best that they could. No one- and I mean NO ONE- is perfect, save for Christ. If we were perfect there would be no need for Him. So do your best to forgive your parents for what you consider to be their failings, as that is what Jesus would do.

I was raised in a so called Christian home, but it seemed to be only when they got the urge to be so. Church on occasion, usually around the Holidays and preaching whenever it fit the bill. They were not avid Christians I suppose, but I was made to go to church and told of the things I was supposed to believe. I was told how my place in life was to be submissive to my eventual husband and to Christ, but somehow the rules of being submissive/slave like only applied to women. Yes of course men were supposed to be the same towards god, but it never seemed to work out that way. I guess it's easier to make someone smaller than you be submissive when you have a larger male figure to make them be as such. Where as God was no where to be found to enforce the same in the men.

I grew up with some very screwed up ideas about men in general, mostly developed a hatred for them. I used to tell my mom that if that is the sort of life I had to look forward to that I would never ever get married. The bible in general did not exactly teach me that women were a great wonderful asset to society. It taught me that we were just an item to be owned, there for I grew up wanting no part of a religion like that. I grew up silently hating Christianity and organized religion in general. Even to this day my mother does not know that I am not a Christian. I mean don't get me wrong, I believe that there might be some sort of a higher power, but I would certainly hope that this higher power isn't this christian god.

What is most ironic of all of this is that I eventually did get married and had four boys. I have spent the better half of my adult life trying to undo the damage. I couldn't imagine my life without my four boys and husband, but I am happiest not having anything to do with religion. My husband is not religious, isn't even sure he believes in a god at all. I will never believe the role of men and women according to the bible, but I have learned to not hate men in general now.

For a few years when we were very young, but most of them we had one. We had no tv from age 4. No phone til I was 15. We couldnt wear shorts and the females had to wear skirts, no makeup, no cutting their hair. To top that off, we lived in a house where a man had committed suicide before. If you believe in the paranormal....that house was nasty....

reply to post by DoYouEvenLift

Lol my post was not about anger at my parents. I've forgiven them. I am wondering of others experiences and thoughts.


reply to post by littled16

reply to post by Jameliel


Just because one reads the bible, it doesn't always mean said person understands it...

Over the years, we read through the bible 3 complete times.

Yet it seems from what you posted your father missed Matthew 6

As an adult, I have wondered at times how someone such as my dad could go so many years living a kind of lie the way he has. Now he is much better than when we were children, but somehow I still feel he is in error with many things. The way he thinks and follows blindly. "The Lord" this, "The Lord" that.

Following blindly is one of the churches greatest traditions... questioning is bad... blind faith in what you're taught is good... Yet we know what happens when the blind follow the blind... don't we?

Never said I understood all of it. Also never said I blindly followed anyone? If youre referring to my dad, not sure of your point. Asking others experiences, not what they think about mine.

God told Howard Pittman during his NDE that not all the sayers would be in heaven, but all the doers would be.

God is looking for the "doer" not the "hearer."

Many will hear and say "Yes".

Few will say yes and DO...

That lines up with what the OP is saying here also.

On August 3, 1979, Howard Pittman, a Baptist minister for 35 years, died while on the operating table during surgery and had a near-death experience.

Instead of allowing me to enter, the angel stationed me before the Gates, slightly to one side. He instructed me to stay there and watch as the saints were permitted to enter into Heaven. This point was so important that the Holy Spirit told me Himself. I watched the fifty saints enter Heaven, but the point I missed was the time frame involved.

It was explained to me that at the same time those fifty saints died on Earth, 1,950 other humans also died; or only 50 out of 2000 made it into Heaven. That other 1,950 were not there. Where were they? That was only 2 ½ percent going to Heaven! Ninety seven point five percent did not make it! Is that representative of the entire world today? If so, 97 ½ percent of the population of this world today is not ready to meet God.

Placebo by Howard Pittman

The two angels escorted me to Hell. They said, “Now you will visit Hell.”…There are multitudes of churches on the Earth and many of the churches are filled with many people. However, most of them are not true Christians. They are but church attendants. The true churches will firmly believe in Heaven and a Hell. The lives of many Christians are in chaos because they do not firmly believe in Heaven and Hell. When one soul enters Heaven, one thousand cursed souls enter Hell. The rate of Heaven and Hell is 1 to 1000.” (Matt 7:14)

Heaven & Hell 1000 to 1

Bishop Wilfred Lai is the founder and senior Pastor of Jesus Celebration Center in Mombasa, Kenya and it is a church of over 15,000 members. One day he asked the Lord how many of them were ready for heaven and the Lord told him only 200. Only 1% of that church is going to heaven!

Dr. Lai said that some pastors have created large groups of sinners meeting in the name of God. “What you have are not churches, but large congregations of sinners.”

Message from Pastor Wilfred Lai

reply to post by Jameliel


I assume you're replying to me.... you're kinda new here so heres a little tip.... use the "reply" button so people know who your speaking to....

Never said I understood all of it.

I didn't say you did...

Also never said I blindly followed anyone?

I wasn't referring to you... You stated in your title you're not really "Christian" either way... Following blindly is deeply rooted in Christian churches

If you're referring to my dad, not sure of your point.

You said specifically....

Now to the outside viewer, it would appear my father was a good christian man. He spoke calmly around them, was jovial and polite, and overall seemed like a great guy. At home it was a different story. He constantly yelled and berated the entire family. Called us names and did a variety of other things which I don't feel like listing.

Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.

2 Therefore when thou doest thine alms, do not sound a trumpet before thee, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may have glory of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

3 But when thou doest alms, let not thy left hand know what thy right hand doeth:

4 That thine alms may be in secret: and thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly.

5 And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.

Do you understand?

Asking others experiences, not what they think about mine.

I realise this... unfortunately I couldn't contribute to your thread otherwise, because my experiences growing up in a "Christian" household were not bad... aside from going to church, which wasn't bad... but I always felt out of place... it was only after many years of having no belief in God that I found the reason why I felt this way...

I did hit the "reply too" button, but due to a combination of me running bootcamp on a mac andthe internet connection, for some reason it messes up sometime. So why do you feel the way you do now about Christianity, and what is that way?

reply to post by Akragon

Originally posted by Jameliel
I did hit the "reply too" button, but due to a combination of me running bootcamp on a mac andthe internet connection, for some reason it messes up sometime. So why do you feel the way you do now about Christianity, and what is that way?

reply to post by Akragon

 

Christianity brings some of those who don't understand God closer to him... but too much of it seems to make people crazy... Christians tend to adopt a "holier then thou" attitude after a while... and start condemning others to hell if their beliefs don't match.

I believe this actually stems from mixing the OT with the NT... I've learned through my own studies that the OT God is not the same as the God Jesus spoke about... though any Christian will tell you otherwise...

Jesus VS the OT God

reply to post by MaMaa

but somehow the rules of being submissive/slave like only applied to women

Unfortunately the church you grew up in missed Ephesians 5:25. Yes, the wife is supposed to submit to the headship of the husband (most of the time), but the husband isn't a dictator who commands everything and everyone bows down to. Rather the husband is supposed to "love his wife like Christ loved the church". The husband is supposed to serve his wife and love her unconditionally.

Originally posted by octotom
reply to post by MaMaa

 

but somehow the rules of being submissive/slave like only applied to women

Unfortunately the church you grew up in missed Ephesians 5:25. Yes, the wife is supposed to submit to the headship of the husband (most of the time), but the husband isn't a dictator who commands everything and everyone bows down to. Rather the husband is supposed to "love his wife like Christ loved the church". The husband is supposed to serve his wife and love her unconditionally.

We moved around a lot, it was a constant theme among any church we went to. Now I understand and was even taught that the husband is and I quote " supposed" to serve his wife and love her unconditionally. However my point was that there is no one to enforce such a behavior in men. Where as the men were there to enforce the behavior in women. Works out well for men, not so well for women.