i need some input on this song i am tossing together

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posted on Dec, 28 2012 @ 06:08 PM
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in this video its still a ruff draft but you kind of get where its going. i was wondering what thought or ideas you can give me on arranging it or even something to add.




posted on Dec, 28 2012 @ 06:26 PM
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Right off the bat, within 5 seconds into it you have to 'wild' it up and change it up fast, or you risk losing people's attention.



posted on Dec, 28 2012 @ 06:36 PM
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lyrics? or u working on that?



posted on Dec, 28 2012 @ 06:38 PM
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reply to post by InTheLight
 


good point i will see what i can do to make a good hook for the song with the intro



posted on Dec, 28 2012 @ 06:39 PM
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reply to post by BobSacamano
 


i really dont write lyrics but with any thing there is no better time to start learning something than right now, so i might try my hand at it.



posted on Dec, 28 2012 @ 06:41 PM
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Originally posted by NISMOALTI
reply to post by InTheLight
 


good point i will see what i can do to make a good hook for the song with the intro


Can you get a little wilder?



posted on Dec, 28 2012 @ 06:49 PM
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You might want to think about modulating to a different key at somepoint...staying there the whole time will get boring for most....Nice riff though!



posted on Dec, 28 2012 @ 07:21 PM
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Originally posted by neOrevolutionist
You might want to think about modulating to a different key at somepoint...staying there the whole time will get boring for most....Nice riff though!


Second that. Need to mix it up a little.



posted on Dec, 28 2012 @ 07:24 PM
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Originally posted by Mike.Ockizard

Originally posted by neOrevolutionist
You might want to think about modulating to a different key at somepoint...staying there the whole time will get boring for most....Nice riff though!


Second that. Need to mix it up a little.


Yes, to me a tune should tell a story.



posted on Dec, 28 2012 @ 08:40 PM
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thank you all for the comments, i will go back to work on it and see where i can go with all the input.



posted on Dec, 28 2012 @ 08:43 PM
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Yep ya need some lyrics to emphasize with the tune....putting lyrics in will break it up a bit so it wont be so repetative......
You might try overdubbing some rythm chords too



posted on Dec, 28 2012 @ 08:43 PM
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edit on 28-12-2012 by stirling because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 28 2012 @ 08:43 PM
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edit on 28-12-2012 by stirling because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 28 2012 @ 08:43 PM
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ooops
edit on 28-12-2012 by stirling because: (no reason given)

worn out left clicker
edit on 28-12-2012 by stirling because: (no reason given)



posted on Dec, 29 2012 @ 06:46 PM
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what i could tell great finger work and stringing man but i guess still needs work...



posted on Dec, 29 2012 @ 09:10 PM
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reply to post by BobSacamano
 


thank you, i have a new attempt on this song on my channel



posted on Dec, 29 2012 @ 11:26 PM
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so i took this song back to the table and this is the out come. still needs some work and i still need to practice it but it is coming along



posted on Jan, 1 2013 @ 10:11 PM
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You kept my attention much longer, very good. However, without lyrics, I can only think this tune would be useful in some dramatic movie scene. What do you think?



posted on Jan, 2 2013 @ 05:41 PM
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reply to post by InTheLight
 


yeah i agree. i have tried my hand at writing lyrics and can never get it to where i want it to be. when i get in to another band i know this song will be changed up to account for other band mates. till then i am going to keep expanding on this and see if i cant make a master peace out of it.



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