'The scapegoating of Nancy Lanza' by Lionel Shriver, author of 'We Need To Talk About Kevin'

The scapegoating of Nancy Lanza

I urge anyone remotely interested in the horrible Sandy Hook shootings to read this Guardian article.
In fact I urge anyone interested in good writing to read this. Lionel Shriver is a great writer.
While I'm at it I urge anyone who hasn't, to read her amazing novel 'We Need To Talk About Kevin'... or see the film... which for once does a great novel justice.
For those who don't know, 'We Need To Talk About Kevin' is written from a mother's perspective trying to figure out why her son went on a murder spree, killing family before going to school and killing classmates.
It's a very powerful read.

I think this article addresses some issues that other media commentators have missed.

It also says a few things that a lot of ATS posters could learn from...

Sandy Hook has been the most misreported story in recent memory, but a few facts may have emerged.

After all, when the facts don't bolster your viewpoint, you can always make them up.

Much of what we now know about Nancy is none of our business: the square footage of her house, the size of her alimony payments.

I wanted to post it a few days ago but it was obvious the Sandy Hook threads were out of hand and thought best leave a day or two till things calm down round here.
So it's good to see a few threads now going about Sandy Hook without people breaking site rules, trolling or trying to get threads removed by posting personal information or libelous character smears.

I personally think that even without the Sandy Hook/ Lanza OS that there seems to be a lot wrong with this one. So I will be awaiting the OS with great interest.






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reply to post by manmental


ok, I concur she is a great writer, so I will take a looksie.

I watched the dvd the other night with my daughter,it was quite brilliant.Very thought-provoking,especially if one's a parent.It made me think of the Sandy Hook massacre straight off,though.

I read the article, and I must assert that the reason a 27th bell has not yet sounded is, had that bell not come into being, Adam Lanza wouldn't have ever been born, and those 26 people would still be with us.

It was a well-written article - I'll agree with that. And I too feel for her family's loss - they must be paralyzed by confusion and grief. Maybe it's natural for all of us to point at a situation and say "There! There's why this happened!" because it reassures us that if we rid ourselves of that type of person or situation, we'll avoid meeting the same fate. But if a mother isn't responsible for her son, and intuiting when he requires psychological support - especially given her financial resources - she'll always be hung in the court of public opinion because mothers can't take all of the credit but none of the blame.

Excellent write up. I agree there's been far too much villainization of Nancy Lanza. Adam had no history of violence, in fact I've seen no substantiation that he even had Aspberger's or any type of mental illness requiring treatment. We hear she took her son's target shooting yet the State police can find no record of her at a range. So much hearsay from gardeners and sister-in-laws. It seems in the dearth of information available the MSM is more than willing to fill the void with innuendo and second-hand reporting. For that matter how hard would it be to show the public the paperwork she filled out to get those guns? As granny said: "where's the beef?"

Her death is a much a tragedy as any of the children's. She did nothing wrong and there was no reason to believe that Adam would fly off the handle and go massacre a bunch of school kids. Until we have some FACTS that prove otherwise we should treat her death the same as any other victim.

Originally posted by Asktheanimals
Her death is a much a tragedy as any of the children's. She did nothing wrong and there was no reason to believe that Adam would fly off the handle and go massacre a bunch of school kids. Until we have some FACTS that prove otherwise we should treat her death the same as any other victim.

Well said sir!

In this day and age.... You have to make an effort NOT to know people.

These killers arent exactly being covert about their intentions either. The parents are 100% to blame. If we started holding parents accountable for their childs actions maybe people would think twice having children they arent prepared for.


Parents deserve ALL the blame. You cant have the majority of influence over someone for the majority of their life and not end up with the majority of responibility for how they turned out.

Originally posted by Wertdagf
In this day and age.... You have to make an effort NOT to know people.

These killers arent exactly being covert about their intentions either. The parents are 100% to blame. If we started holding parents accountable for their childs actions maybe people would think twice having children they arent prepared for.


Parents deserve ALL the blame. You cant have the majority of influence over someone for the majority of their life and not end up with the majority of responibility for how they turned out.

Iam going to assume you aren't a parent.

Originally posted by Wertdagf
The parents are 100% to blame.
Parents deserve ALL the blame. You cant have the majority of influence over someone for the majority of their life and not end up with the majority of responibility for how they turned out.

I disagree. You cannot say 100%.
For a start it has to be case specific.
For example: A child is abused by someone (not parents) and decides not to tell anyone. And that causes their problems.

I know someone who fits that scenario... abused by a friend of a friend who kept it from his parents and he said it ****** up his life.

So you are wrong by saying 100%.

I do agree that parents of problem kids should sometimes take more responsibility but there are so many other factors that come into play which makes me think you haven't thought this through (your 100% comment).

reply to post by manmental


Then that persons mother was to poorly educated to figure out their child was molested. There are people who are specialized in dealing with the abused who can see the the signs of ptsd or emotional trauma. Yet because this mother was to ignorant to protect something she accepted resposiblity for its suddenly someone elses fault.

Somehow ignorance is now a perfect defence for people who would rather drink martinis than talk to their children about the dangers of predators.

Not my fault the baby crawled into the street.... i didnt know i was supposed to watch it.

reply to post by manmental


I did watch the movie recently but before the Sandy Hook shootings.The incident definitely made the movie replay in my mind, but not for one minute did I blame the mother.
It was obvious there was something amiss about the Kevin character right from the beginning and even though she asked for help did not get it.
The same could be in the Adam / Nancy Lanza situation. How many parents have kids with mental issues and try to get help only to be shuffled from one professional to the other with no clear help at all? I don't know about the system in the US, but here in Canada it is flawed up the wazoo and patients are left in worse shape than when they started any kind of treatment. And it is NOT for the lack of loved ones trying to advocate for them.

reply to post by Wertdagf


Yes parents are 100% to blame. That way you are never responsible for anything that happens to you. Just blame mommy when life doenst work out for you. You're a drug addict? Must be your mothers fault. She put that first joint in your mouth. You cant hold a job. Must be mother again. She made you unfocused when she sent you to your room as punishment. My own mother beat the crap out of me at every opportunity but I didnt turn into a killer and matter of fact never hit my own children. My life is not a dream its normal. I do not blame my parents when things go bad. There comes a point in everyones life when their actions are there own and no one else is responsible for those actions. Blaming is a cop out that says I have no control over myself or my life.

reply to post by Wertdagf


Some people dont tell. If Mom is not psychic how does she know? You are being unreasonable saying she should just know. What is mom magic ?

ATTENTION!

Stick to the topic as presented in the OP and refrain from personal jabs. Everyone is entitled to their own perspective - you don't have to like it, you don't have to reply and you aren't obligated to convince them otherwise.