The True Essence Of Manhood..

Click here for more information.

reply to post by EvanB

He did bear his "wound" at my request, and while your intention appeared to be good there seemed to be a small amount of salt thrown in..

Like I've been saying, these "predicaments" are at one both very sorrowful and grave, and yet have the potential for great humor if we would but let it.

You see, a Civilized man is someone who never hurts another person's feelings, unintentionally.

It was poor communication on your part to both taunt and console at the same time.

We need to communicate straight and take what we get back as the response where the meaning of communication is the response you get.

I just wish we'd all crack open so that our wounds of sorrow might be healed with the humorous knowledge, however grave it may at first seem, of perfect understanding and comprehension where the need to "get even" has already fallen away as an absurd reaction/response. In this manner, he too failed the test miserably.

It's a sad joke and the joke's on us.

Let's get it, and laugh together, before it's too late and all possibility for the humor in it, is lost. Can you imagine how horrible that would be?!

Men let down your shields, and let this sharp arrow of truth and knowledge penetrate right through to your heart, you will not "die", and you can TAKE IT, as men.



Here, watch this



There's no need to get angry, when we're really just exploring what it means to be true to one's self, whether as a man or a woman.

To be a man is to be without the NEED for machismo. !



"The fire of Satsang will not burn you, it will only burn what you are not."
~ Moojiji

reply to post by NewAgeMan


Haha basically this dude is saying monk up!

Because he's dressed in white pants and stuff it makes him seem really wise.

reply to post by NewAgeMan


Mate.. I WAS really being sincere...

People who know me will tell you that is what Im like.. I may come across as rough around the edges, but I will hug the living crap out of you if you need one.. Man or woman.. I just felt sorry for his plight.. Tried to offer some compassion.. But it was thrown back in my face like a dirty rag...

Oh well..

Hurting people hurt people I suppose..
Or maybe some people should follow this guys advice (strong language)

reply to post by sconner755

Actually, he is (wise, enlightened) - watch some of his other videos at the end of that one.

I've noticed that his audience often consists of young people, and I think that's because there's some truth to the idea that it's much harder to teach an old dog new tricks.

If we cannot turn, and see ourselves as we really are, in self acceptance, and be healed of our wounds, then we're not really free to be our true self. Manhood can't be projected, and it can't be used as a shield of some kind, and neither does it matter how we dress or what we look like.

Strong reactions and negative bias, that's the sign of a conflicted self, whereas men to be men must be free to be themselves, same goes with women.

We're not who we take (or once took) ourselves to be - there's much more to us than meets the eye, and you can't really put a finger on it, to a degree he's right (DoYouEvenLift) that there's no one set of criteria by which to judge a man as a "manly" man, but his motivation to defend this position seemingly at all cost may not have been without a strong bias ie: that it must be an entirely open concept. In other words he's right but for the wrong reasons and motivations, some of which may indeed relate to the failure in love by the man who failed as a man (the father) but who also paid a very heavy price for that (felt so worthless as a result that he committed suicide). Like I said ealier, sins of the father, they need to be forgiven, absolutely, and we need to enjoy the liberation of absolute self acceptance (including absolute forgiveness), and for some, the gender issue may be a very touchy subject for reasons that run very deep, but which may also be very humorous once you get to the root of what might be called the "formative causation".

Originally posted by EvanB
reply to post by NewAgeMan

 

Mate.. I WAS really being sincere...

Here's what you said

Originally posted by EvanB
reply to post by DoYouEvenLift

 

Wow..

Im sorry.. Manhood did a number on you hey?.. But you appear to be very strong and eloquent and have come through..

This may sound disingenuous.. But its not.. I mean it.. And for what its worth.. Im sending some hugs your way...

Very sorry and ashamed that manhood let you down.. And this thread is about what is going wrong with us??

Why are we as a sex failing the very people we supposed to live and protect?

Obviously a very touchy subject for him, and it wasn't worded as eloquently as it ought to have been maybe, but you're right that there's nothing there that someone could take too much offence from.

He's a very smart cookie, but we all have a blind spot, and as painful as it may be at times, sometimes we NEED for other's to hurt our feelings in the right way and for all the right reasons, and I can see here that you were simply trying to he helpful in a genuinely compassionate manner, at least I sure hope you didn't intend to "salt the wound" in any way based on what had already taken place and what was shared, where such sharing is a precious and costly thing when you really think about it. He took a risk and saw you burning him for that, can you at least see it from his point of view?, especially in light of the father info and some sort of gender "neutrality" or prior confusion? driving an investigation and education process in search of its resolution, but which apparently served simply to build an elaborate intellectual shield based on "hard science" as a means of feeling superior and avoiding domination (abusive father) ie: where the bullied becomes the bully in this case an intellectual and educated bully with an overpowering need to be right &/or to make another wrong, especially around issues of gender difference and/or a lack thereof.

Some people really are born into the wrong body, sometimes it's nature sometimes it's nurture (or a lack thereof), but if a man is trapped in a woman's body or hermaphrodite or whatever, you would think they might be interested in celebrating the difference between the sexes, but I guess it could also go the other way where the claim is that the ONLY difference is a penis or no penis and that's it. If that's the case I say - why must everyone project onto everyone else only that which they experience from their own perspective and POV? What a narrow way of looking at one's self, others, and the world around us where everything must fit into our own personal "reality tunnel" and unique personal experience..

Yeah, I'll just shut up now. Time for a smoke and then bed (is that manly?).

And if he comes back on and wonders where I got all this info from, like I said before it's called - reason and logic. There's nowhere to hide so we might as well come out into the light and risk the judgemental glare of others.

I guess the learning experience and the point in this is that there may be some men who are men but who by their very nature are not "manly" men, and that's ok, it takes all kinds to make a world.

God Bless, and Happy New Years!

NAM

Originally posted by intrptr
Real men turn away from the "manly escalation" that usually results in a fight. The Hero is not the conqueror or the war monger that defeats the enemy. The Hero is the peace maker. I hardly expect that opinion to matter in a country that is at everlasting war and cage matches though.

53 seconds in...

that's rubbish. there are circumstances where men and woman alike would unwillingly put their hands up and turn to violence for one reason or another. those who are deadset against any violence aren't any sort of man, any sort of woman, or any sort of human being. if you can't accept that violence is at times necessary then you aren't very bright. There is a time and place for everything and there is a time and a place for violence

I know too many people who've been left to be beaten to a pulp, sometimes even to near death, by supposed friends who live by the "turn away" mantra(which usually manifests as flee like a cowardly rat)

most pacifists are abject cowards hiding behind pacifism because they're too immature to overcome their child-like fear of conflict.

reply to post by GrandStrategy


Couldnt agree more mate..

reply to post by NewAgeMan


Thanks for gracing this thread mate.. You have certainly been a very astute and moderating influence with wise insight..

Btw..

There is nothing more manly than having a smoke then going to bed.. Better still smoking in bed.. Or even better.. BEING smoking in bed..

Have to say.. Manhood and what it means has indeed took a dive with our sex..


Maybe some cant see the wood from the trees and SEE that there is something wrong.. Or am just happy bumping along in life.. Happy with their lot and thinking that having a penis and the joy it brings is being a man...

There is a reason why you are aggressive.. What is it?.. What makes you look at at a hill or a mountain and say "I just HAVE to run up THAT!".. Why does getting down and dirty in the mud sound fun? Or why does jumping out of a perfectly good aircraft seem a good idea??

All of those activities have been enjoyed by women.. But invented by men...

Why???

What is it in the soul of that craves danger? Push the boundaries? And keep pushing?

reply to post by GrandStrategy

Violence begets violence. The peacemaker doesn't give in to violence, he stops it. Punishing someone instead of forgiving them is why the world is falling apart. Making the world better is not about returning tit for tat but refusing to return tit for tat.

Let me put it another way some will better understand. I'm an American. We are the biggest bullies on the planet. Nobody compares to us when it comes time to being a jerk and kicking ass. We lift more tonnage of Iron to higher altitudes, inflict more pain and kill more people than anyone.

We are the worlds biggest assholes.

For me, Manhood is helping those that can't help themselves.
Be it money, knowledge, guidance, or protection. If you have
The ability too give one of those too your family, friend, or
neighbor, and you don't, you are not a man.

That...and a pair of testicles.

benevolence is what brings man and woman together. a slain dragon helps but...

Originally posted by sconner755
reply to post by nixie_nox

 

Society has shifted drastically to remove the polarity between men and women. Women are taught to be more like men, and men are ridiculed when they exhibit masculine traits.

I haven't seen any ridicule going on. And women are not taught to be like men, they just have more opportunities now, to be able to do what they should of always been allowed to do.

The lack of polarity in relationships is what kills attraction, and kills the relationship. The way to be a great father isn't to bake and play with dolls. The way to be a great father is to be willing to die to protect the kids' mother.

What is he going to have die to protect me from? a grizzly bear? This must be an example from your archaic thinking. Children need their father's in their lives, to wrestle with them, feed them, teach them things, to be there for them, just like the mother. They can't be there if they are out waiting for imaginary grizzly bears.

To be so committed to taking care of your family that nothing else matters.

This is a role of both of the parents, not just the father.

When a kids' mom feels safe, the kids will feel safe.

Kids feel safe when both parents love them. That is how they feel secure. When both parents are involved.
When men were off fighting the wars they created, it is the women who protect the homestead, not the men. So to pretend that men only defend the household is pretty deluded thinking.

The way to be a great father is to stand and face the storms of feminine energy and be rock solid, still standing after the storm passes. To take every test your women throws at you and say, "is that all you've got? Give me more."

And now the truth comes out. Since you use feminine energy in a negative light, you have revealed yourself to be one of the insecure, emotionally disrupted males who thinks feminine energy is bad. Because it removes the male privelage and power. That you see instead of the benefits of being equal, you resent the loss of pure male privelage over another group of people, which is not strength, it is weakness of the worst kind. Only weak people need to feel superior over another to feel better about themselves.
Not only do you want to oppress the other sex, you also oppress other males, who do not feel the need to be the macho male, ,who are secure enough that they don't need to be privelaged in order to feel fine with themselves.Because masculinity as you defined it, is impossible to live up too. No man can be GI Joe anymore than any female can be Barbie.Not only are you, the supposed masculine male, a failure toward the female sex, you are failure to other men, by deciding that certain values are the only ones that are admirable and should be lived up too. You want to rigidly define what a male should be, and expect everyone to live up to them, creating great anxiety. That you want to force everyone to live up to these standards and depict feminism as equal by "demasculating" men, instead of seeing it for what it is, making them equal.

Unfortunately, in today's world you see so many "sensitive" men who are insecure,

Actually it is the macho man that is insecure. Who is so threatened by any male who doesn't partake in his standard of manliness that he shuns him. That they are threatened by any male who doesn't fall into their masculine trap. Sensitive men are actually more secure, because they are not threatened by every single thing around them that threatens their "macho" image. They don't live the insecure, anxiety driven lifestyle. Macho men, like yourself, are so threatened by sensitive men, trying to call them gay, insecure, or anything they can think of. When the sensitive man is far more free, to choose their lifestyle, to embrace any hobbies or ambitions they choose, who are far more free.

I was with a friend the the other day who flat out broke up with her boyfriend on the phone because he was being all wussy boy about why she was out having a drink with me at 8 pm.

Nice try to spin, but most likely she was feeling controlled, which makes women want to run for the hills these days.

I've never seen a woman attracted to an insecure, feminine man.

Right, which is why most women wish straight men acted like their gay friends.

Of course that's just my experience. I'm sure masculine leaning women might be attracted to feminine me

Yea didn't see that one coming. Because not only do you want to determine who men should be, you want to determine who women should be, and your only defense for your insecurity is to flame women who act like men and vice versa. Let me guess, you think men should be able to have mistresses while women have to remain pure and virginal.

I have a 13yo daughter and two little boys aged 4 and 3.
Boys ARE totally different from little girls--let me tell you. Our daughter listened and occupied her time, but not these boys. They have ninja fist fights, gun fights, do flips off the furniture, knowing that they will get into trouble. My daughter would have never made it had they all been this age at the same time. These two little boys are also very creative. My 4yo was walking at 8 months old and talking plainly by 11 months old. He was potty trained also at 10 months. He pretty much done it on his own, of course with a little help, but he initiated it.

They love to play in the dirt with their 70's Tonka trucks and shovels. It's normal for them to find a stick or whatever and break out into a sword fight anywhere. It amuses me but my wife tries to put reigns on it.
But yes, boys WILL BE BOYS. That's just how most of us are wired.

reply to post by nixie_nox


So wait.... Are you a Man and a Father??

reply to post by Raelsatu

This is only one view. You make some of the same points the OP, and some other posters made. How you define what a true man is, is bound to multiple factors such as the time, place, & sociocultural perception. You think every man should be an "alpha male"? You think that for the majority of human existence, true men weren't those who had a lust for battle, domination, etc? Not every man needs to be what you think they should. People are defined by more than just that.

Sure it's my view but it's one that makes sense.
If every man was an alpha male there wouldn't be those negative traits in the world.
Lust for battle, domination etc are negative needs.
If positive traits were reinforced we would be in a much better place.

According to you "real men" are confident, caring, intelligent, & humorous. But insecure men are worthless. Is a genius inventor who's socially awkward not a real man, and worthless? Is an alpha male who was born in a vat of opulence a superior man, simply because he's socially adept? Truth is there is room in this world for the socially adept, and the intellectual recluse. They balance each-other out. Saying that society is going to ruins because we don't have enough alpha males is complete nonsense.

Creativity is a Alpha Male trait. Not every man is perfect. But we can strive to be better.
And we could use more alpha males. I see the problems we have in society. And most of them are due to men who are insecure.
Men should strive to be better so they can make the world a better place.

Originally posted by NewAgeMan
reply to post by EvanB

 

He did bear his "wound" at my request, and while your intention appeared to be good there seemed to be a small amount of salt thrown in..

Like I've been saying, these "predicaments" are at one both very sorrowful and grave, and yet have the potential for great humor if we would but let it.

You see, a Civilized man is someone who never hurts another person's feelings, unintentionally.

It was poor communication on your part to both taunt and console at the same time.

We need to communicate straight and take what we get back as the response where the meaning of communication is the response you get.

I just wish we'd all crack open so that our wounds of sorrow might be healed with the humorous knowledge, however grave it may at first seem, of perfect understanding and comprehension where the need to "get even" has already fallen away as an absurd reaction/response. In this manner, he too failed the test miserably.

It's a sad joke and the joke's on us.

Let's get it, and laugh together, before it's too late and all possibility for the humor in it, is lost. Can you imagine how horrible that would be?!

Men let down your shields, and let this sharp arrow of truth and knowledge penetrate right through to your heart, you will not "die", and you can TAKE IT, as men.

Here, watch this

There's no need to get angry, when we're really just exploring what it means to be true to one's self, whether as a man or a woman.

To be a man is to be without the NEED for machismo. !

"The fire of Satsang will not burn you, it will only burn what you are not."
~ Moojiji

edit on 29-12-2012 by NewAgeMan because: (no reason given)

To be a man is to be without the NEED for machismo.

Good video. The man is wise and of good, at least that is what my assumptions are after 2 minutes of watching it.

And I quoted that sentence because I think it hits the nail. What does it truly mean to be a real man?

Is it being alpha? How is alpha defined? Is the world's definition of alpha different from being truly alpha?

reply to post by EvanB


bleh, I would rather be a fully integrated human being.

But just to set the record straight: A real man doesn't let anyone else define what being a man is. In that respect to those who wish to dictate what my masculinity is or is supposed to be: MFR.

I'm sorry too sound sexist, but I find it amusing when a woman says she's equal to man.
There are obviously VERY different thing going on in each "sex".
I've meet done women that were adamant they were as tough as " men", but when put to the
Challenge.....no contest. The end.