posted on Dec, 26 2012 @ 04:45 PM
Great thread as usual!
I would like to add a little personal account I had with SSRI's(Wellbutrin specifically) I had when I was younger, 18-19.
I lost a close family member and became severely depressed, it was the first person really close to me I'd ever lost unexpectedly. After a couple of
months of me living doing nothing, not working, cleaning etc, really barely eating, but drinking heavily, my mom decided I should see a doctor. The
doc decided quite quickly I should try a new medication called Wellbutrin. I was to come back after 10 days(the period it takes for the medication to
take full effect) for a reevaluation of my condition. At my next visit I was feeling better, but still no normal. The doc decided to up my dosage and
see me again in 45 days. During the next week I felt great and I thought "Hey! This is actually working! It's really helping me a lot." I decided
to continue taking it, since I was originally considering asking for an alternative. Well, the following two weeks I was moody, distressed and
agitated. Some days I felt fine and others I just wanted to destroy stuff over nothing more than a minor frustration. It all came to a head midway
thru the third week. I literally destroyed everything I owned including my car and house. I smashed things, threw things, punched and kicked holes in
the walls and doors broke out windows and took a baseball bat and gasoline and matches to my car. The very last thing I remember clearly was sitting
in a corner for what felt like an eternity, actually 3 days, with the barrel of a .38 pressed to my temple fighting the urge to end it all. My mom who
hadn't heard from me in a few days became worried and called 911 to have the police come check on me. I ended up being taken to the emergency room
with a grazing gunshot wound to the top of my head and a ruptured ear drum. I had apparently decided to go thru with ending it, then for some unknown
reason, maybe a brief moment of lucidity, changed my mind right as I squeezed the trigger and moved the barrel just enough to cause the minor injuries
and knock myself unconscious from the concussion against my head.
It could have easily been much worse. I very easily could have seriously hurt or killed myself or others during this time. I even had thoughts of
doing some very bad things to other people. After my stint in the hospital in a medically induced coma during detox, I looked back glad I survived and
realized just how dangerous psychiatric meds can be, not only to the patient, but to anyone who comes in contact with them when they split.
Since then I have never taken any sort of psychiatric medication, and never will again. I now rely on support and communication as well as natural
remedies such as diet, herbs and vitamins and meditation. I also came out of it realizing things can always be worse than what they are and haven't
been depressed in over a decade. Not to say I haven't been down in the dumps or miserably sad, but I haven't been to the point where I was
non-fuctional or suicidal. Mostly I look back thankful I had a second chance to enjoy life.
I can easily see someone on these kinds of medications having a break and going on a violent rampage. Anyone who says otherwise hasn't been through
it, either themselves or someone they know, and haven't looked at the evidence thoroughly and with an unbiased mind.