I Miss Granny

My father passed away March 2, 2004. My grandmother (his mom) passed away only 8 days later. My grandfather (her husband) passed away in 2006. They were 3 of the most important people in my life and every single holiday and special occasion was spent with them. I have inherited the house in which all of those happy memories took place, and I now live here with my beautiful wife and two wonderful sons (2 1/2 yrs. old and 1 week old)

Sometimes it is very painful to look back and remember that this house used to be where all the action took place. Relatives would come from all over the country to visit during this time of year. Now, most of them have passed away or simply do not/cannot make it out here anymore. This house just doesn't seem the same.

The days I spent with Dad and my grandma and grandpa are already beginning to seem like a different life altogether, and I don't like that. I miss them terribly. They and the countless others who have passed on since then would make this time of year much brighter. When I close my eyes, it's all too easy to see and hear the many smiles and laughs which took place around here. All I can do is take a deep breath and try to smile when I think about them. I'm sure a lot of you know what I'm talking about.

I am, however, looking forward to starting my own family traditions. I look forward to the days when my grandchildren will come visit every holiday and everybody will have a joyful time together. Although I wish everybody was here with us, it will still be very special.

God bless you all.

This year is much different for me.. i went to bed
early tonight because i knew i had to wake up
some time during the middle of the night and finish
wrapping the big presents and get them under the
tree. I was going to wrap them earlier, but they
are much less obvious if just cardboard boxes rather
than fancy wrapping paper, less chance the kids would
notice.. and it worked, they didnt even bat a eye and
the daughter was in the closet with me the other day when
i was digging out the wrapping paper for her. Good thing
kids overlook the obvious.

As i went down the hall, i pulled the kid's door shut most the
way so i would not wake them with the noise or the lights,
and i got to my daughters room and looked in before i closed the
door, and it hit me prity hard.

For me, it's not just missing the ones that were close, the only few
that fit in that category are my aunt and uncle and my dad, (gota
call mom in the morning.). but for me, i miss my kids....

Now being in my mid 40's that sounds a bit odd, but the way
things are going, unless a miracle happens there is a chance
i will not be here next year, but even if i am, the odds of me being
here the year after are about the same as winning the lottery.

I stood there looking at her lil 10 year old face watching her sleep
and wondered how she was going to handle it in a year or so when
i loose this battle. Wondering if she is tough enough to rise above
it and not let it take her to far down.

We had parent teachers conference last year, and to our surprise she
was going way down on her grades, D's and C's and a few F's, this
from a gir who was getting all A's. As we talked to the teacher and
were looking over the charts of daily grades, things clicked in my head
and i could not help it, tears started falling. I had my Dr apt on a Friday,
and that weekend we told the kids what was going on, but tryed to keep
it light not to worry or upset them to much yet. The following Monday
was when her grades started going down hill. Its hard to accept that you
are the reason your child is failing.

My son, he will be ok, he is 13, it will be rough on him, but i have no doubts
he will pull though and carry on.

So for me, its a very weird Christmas, our first one knowing, and i
definitely look at things diffidently, a bit sad, a bit scared and a bit
worried.

I hope everyone here has a great christmas and take a moment to
remember loved one's past, but more importantly, enjoy the ones
you are with now, we never know whats ahead, and no one is promised
tomarrow.

oops double post

Always a tear for my grandma when I hear this...

reply to post by smyleegrl


me too..

My Grandma just passed a few weeks ago..

i miss her already.. thinking about wasted time & such..

She donated Herself to Medical Research..

Her remains should be in the mail soon..should have been the 20th..

the thought of her stuck in the Christmas mail is haunting me.

They are with us always in our hearts & memories..

Happy Holidays..

reply to post by smyleegrl


I miss my Great Aunts, thanks for posting this thread!

reply to post by smyleegrl


I have had a candle burning all day, my Nan died in 1985 and think of her.

sometimes when People we love die, xmas just isn't the same. But, my Daughter rang today and was telling me what she was cooking and lol she was cooking all the meals I would usually make. I made a cake this morning in a bowl that used to belong to my Nanna.

I too am missing some dear relatives. My Oma passed in 2007, and my mothers girlfriend passed last year.

My Oma was one of the most important people in my life; she essentially raised me when my mom could not. She passed very suddenly so we never really had the chance to say goodbye. The last thing she said to me was "Sweetieheart (her nickname for me), why are you crying? I'm going to be just fine! I love you." Christmas hasn't been the same for me since. I miss her stuffing, I miss her tree, but most of all I miss her big family dinners where everyone would get together. We don't do that anymore...

My moms girlfriend lost her battle to cancer last September. Pat and I kind of had a tough relationship while I was growing up. We fought a lot and never really saw eye to eye. She lost her battle and passed away the day after her birthday. I had promised her that I would bring her dog who I was dog-sitting to visit for her birthday, but it never happened. I'm still heartbroken that my dog will never get to see her again. I bought her an orchid for her birthday, and to this day it lives on in my living room. If you knew my history with plants, you would know this is a miracle! My thumb is definitely NOT green...

To anyone else missing people around this time of year, my heartfelt condolences. I find it always helps to remember that they are with us, we just can't see them.

Love and peace to you all.

My gran died this morning. She had been fighting pneumonia for over a week, she was 85. It's been a painful day for the family, but she had been suffering for nearly a week, so to know she is out of pain is a relief. Rip Gran.

I'm not really very good at showing my emotions. I'm sad but, I just wanted to see her out of the pain that she was in, so more relieved. 85 is a pretty good innings, something's going to get you eventually.

reply to post by woodwardjnr


Oh, hon. I'm so sorry for what you and your family are going through right now. Words aren't enough, and I won't even try. Just know you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Hugs to you,
smylee

I lost my mom on October 28 this year. I have barely held it together this Christmas. Things are certainly better now than they were that raw day, but every day I am surprised that the world keeps turning on without her.

I have lost my mother, my grand father, my step-dad, my great grand father, and soon quite possibly
my great grand mother.

I have said very nasty things to all of my family members. I feel terrible about it. It's because
we interact superficially with each other now, even though my great grand mother is the glue that
still holds the family together, except we're divided more than ever before this year due
to my anger against the continuing dissemination of our families principles and ideologies.

reply to post by smyleegrl


my grandma raised me while my parents #ed off their lives. she had at least 7 major illnesses during that time, mostly cancer but that NEVER stopped her from literally making from scratch, everything that made the holidays. even when she was bald and weak she kept us together, never cancled, we had thanksgiving in april once, to wait for her because she LOVED her family. ive never felt that kind of true caring for me and my brother, before or after. holidays are shells now. the family togetherness does not exist. she was our family, a cancer ridden weak old woman was the solid cornerstone in our family. i dont think anyone, especially not my mom or dad, will love me and care like she did. holidays are just reminders of her, i get nothing from anyone anyway, but i just wish i still had her to show off my little girl and actually feel love again. i feel you op, i miss my granny very much and its just not the holidays without her. haveing known what true love and kindness is, i know it is missing. saying i love you doesnt make it true. the strongest, kindest, albeit the sickest, woman i ever knew. so much sickness. SO MUCH. but even more will and strength and courage. she is family. i love you grandma. end slowly typed rant..........now.

reply to post by smyleegrl


Bless your heart. It's the same for me on my father's side after my paternal grandmother died in January of '08. Christmas of 2007 was the last real traditional Christmas we had since that was her last. Like your granny, my Omi was also the glue that held us all together.

After her passing, I just never felt like I belonged to the family anymore. I'm the only grandchild on that entire side and am the last of the family line but my aunts, uncles, father, and grandfather never attempt to contact me. And when I call them or show up, my grandfather is the only one who is happy to hear from me. I really miss my Omi.

reply to post by smyleegrl


I haven't read through all the responses but hugs to you OP. I lost all my grandparents - two passed away before I was born, having never met them. The other two passed on later in life, one at 89 and one at 95 five years ago. I also lost many other relatives to cancer - including my godmother. When she passed, the whole family kind of split into groups and we don't see much of each other. It's amazing how that one person can attribute to so much to others - we don't realize it until they are gone.

I hope you had a nice Christmas with your own family.

reply to post by smyleegrl


That was so perfect. I'm sorry you're missing you Gran

My favorite person in the whole world is my Gram. Your Granny sounds a lot like mine

I think I'm her favorite, but I'd never ask