Who am I? **A Story of the Struggle for Spiritual Liberation**

Fellow members of ATS, at this juncture in the course of my correspondence with this community, I have decided, possibly against my better judgment, to reveal the truth about my personal history and how I came to acquire the information that I revealed in my previous two threads (found here and here). Although doing so may pose a certain risk to myself, I have appealed to the justification that all struggles for freedom of any kind have involved some kind of risk, and ultimately those risks have always proven to be worth it in the end.

That said, fasten your seat belts, because this is going to be quite the trip down the rabbit hole. For those of you who truly want to understand the purpose for this life and the secrets of the unknown, this thread is for you.

Now then, before jumping right into my story it is necessary to introduce a little bit of nomenclature and some background regarding the ideas of which I speak. What do I mean when I speak of “spiritual freedom”? I spoke much about the concept of the soul and the consciousness in my prior threads, but allow me to present a quick refresher. Different civilizations and cultures throughout history have had different terminology to describe the part of you that exists independent of the physical body. Some call it the spirit, some the soul, some call it “theta”, some call it the center of awareness. The concept, not the terminology, is what is important, so I will simply use the terms “soul”, “spirit”, “center of awareness”, and “consciousness” interchangeably. Whenever I use any of these words or phrases, I am speaking of the same thing.

The soul is you (you don’t have a soul, you are a soul), and it is because of your soul’s creative and perceptive power that you are able to experience any kind of reality. Your ability to experience this particular physical reality is made possible by your soul’s perceptive power – its ability to receive and experience inputs given it via its connection to your brain. Your ability to exercise free will is made possible by your soul’s creative power – its ability to spontaneously create, ex nihilo, a vibration of the physical plane’s fundamental vibrational frequency at the smallest subatomic level somewhere in your brain that ultimately manifests as an electrical signal producing a physical action by your body. Any time you consciously perform any kind of action, you are creating, spontaneously, a tiny amount of new vibrational energy completely by your own free will. (The exact way in which this works has to do with something known as the Vacuum State, but keeping the audience in mind, I won’t go into that level of depth.) Both the creative and perceptive power of your consciousness exists and is limited by only the “knowledge” you have to create and perceive. This “knowledge” is simply your soul’s ability to “just know how to do” something, much like a cartwheel or a dance move. You need not have an analytical understanding of all the physical and electrical interactions that go into you doing a cartwheel, you “just do it” the way you “know how” and the physical underpinnings – the gravitational force and normal forces caused by electrostatic interactions that produce the torques resulting in your angular displacement – these interactions work themselves out whether you consciously think about them or not. Your ability to autonomously create something, then, has nothing to do with analytical knowledge; it has only to do with, for lack of a better phrase, your will power.

What is “spiritual freedom”? It is the freedom you have to exercise your will and utilize the creative and perceptive power of your consciousness as you desire, without limitation. Since your creative and perceptive abilities are limited only by your “knowledge” as described above, the only way spiritual freedom can be restricted is by blocking or denying access to gaining this kind of knowledge. During our soul’s creation, and as we developed a connection to a physical body at birth and even as we’ve continued to grow, we have been given and have learned the knowledge for how to experience this physical reality in a very specific way, with very specific limitations. Our current condition is one of spiritual imprisonment in a sense, because of our soul’s ability to perceive and interact with only this physical reality in this particular way. We’ve been made to believe it’s all we can do, and have become used to and dependent on this interaction alone. Spiritual liberation involves learning and acquiring the ability to create and perceive beyond what we have been made to believe we can. This could include perceiving information that is not necessarily restricted to that provided by the five senses, and could also include creative power to affect reality beyond that of your ability to make your physical body move. The ultimate, complete form of spiritual freedom would of course be our ability to completely define our own reality as we desire. But just as evolution is a gradual process that takes millions of years, so it is with spiritual evolution – we must take it one step at a time.

Spiritual evolution is the ultimate purpose for existence. The opposition by certain entities to true spiritual freedom is also the fundamental root cause of all forms of oppression in the physical world. If you examine any type of oppressive or subversive act, and examine the root cause, then look at the root cause of that, then look at the root cause of that, and so on and so forth, it will eventually lead to a root cause involving spiritual repression. When certain physical freedoms are repressed, it is always a means to an end – the end always goes back to entities wanting to prevent your spiritual liberation. Some might point to a profit motive for many injustices in the physical world, but what is the root cause of the profit motive? Who or what created the mindset that permeates our culture that money, materialism, and power in this physical world are the things with which we should preoccupy ourselves and fight over? Ultimately, those things keep our consciousness’s trapped here on this plane, and prevent us from liberating ourselves spiritually.

(Continued...)

Throughout history, certain individuals and groups have had success with unlocking the ability to affect and perceive reality in ways beyond what is thought to be the “norm.” In some cases, these groups or individuals have attempted to evangelize these truths, attempting to help liberate others. And always, every single time, such efforts have been violently opposed, and the truths spoken by these groups and individuals have been suppressed, edited, redacted, forged, and otherwise made into fraudulent versions of the ideas originally propagated by these groups with almost none of the original information remaining unmolested. Many of the religions you know today are products of this dynamic (Christianity being the most famous example), but my history involves another one that is almost universally laughed at and mocked today in the mainstream. Note that I am in no way endorsing the religion I’m going to reference, because as it exists today, it is in fact exactly what the mainstream says it is, due to its original information having been seized and suppressed by the US intelligence community, with fraudulent works taking its place. This calls for a little bit of twentieth-century history.

It is relatively well-known that various US government agencies, particularly the CIA, have invested much money and dedicated much time and research into the subject of parapsychology – particularly in the areas of remote viewing and out-of-body experiences. Stanford University has invested almost as much of its own time and money into exploring these phenomena, which is where my experience comes into play, but more on that later. What most people are completely ignorant of, however, is the history of how the exploration of parapsychology by these agencies first began, who the key players were, and what information is still being suppressed today.

The Central Intelligence Agency was founded shortly after the conclusion of World War II in response to what many began to believe was a need for a more centralized covert spy agency. The Cold War with the Soviets actually began immediately after WWII as both the Soviets and the US were in a race to snatch up as many German scientists as possible. The investigations into parapsychology really all began in 1949 when the CIA learned, through espionage, that the Soviets were exploring mind control techniques and advanced interrogation techniques that involved the administration of '___' and other illicit substances. In addition to an arms race, one of the major elements of the Cold War that is not mentioned at all today in the mainstream was a race for superiority in the field of parapsychology.

This is the point at which it would not surprise me if many readers clicked away from this thread. That’s rather unfortunate, because the events I’m about to describe are 100% factual and verifiable. You can research them and see for yourself. Around the same time the CIA began researching parapsychology, and as it was developing Project BLUEBIRD (the forerunner to MK-ULTRA), L. Ron Hubbard, who would later become the founder of Scientology, published his bestselling book Dianetics, which was basically a description of some mental techniques for accessing and removing negative subconscious memories. It didn’t contain anything particularly of interest to those investigating the paranormal, but much of his further research and publications did. Around this time Hubbard began touring the country giving lectures on his new approach to psychology and was making significant waves. So many waves, in fact, that the government took notice and decided they wanted to enlist him as a civilian servant to aid in the research on the human mind that was currently going on. Of course, Hubbard didn’t want to have anything to do with any of the types of barbaric mind control practices that were a part of Project BLUEBIRD, so he refused, and thus began a long adverse relationship between L. Ron Hubbard and the United States government.

(Continued...)

It was at this point and over the next few years that a “cold war” of sorts began between the US intelligence community and Hubbard’s organization, in what was, for lack of a better phrase, an arms race for parapsychological knowledge. Hubbard developed his Theta-MEST theory, which was his own nomenclature for describing the soul (referred to as “theta”) as being ultimately independent of “MEST” (Matter, Energy, Space, Time), or the physical universe, and that even though the two are seamlessly integrated in this reality, consciousness and thought can only be thought of as part of “theta”. In 1952 Hubbard published what was probably his most important work, called History of Man (of which today only forgeries exist) which describes techniques for rehabilitating many of our spiritual creative and perceptive abilities, including telepathy and even telekinesis. Perhaps Hubbard’s most important idea was what he referred to as the “Operating Thetan” state or “OT” for short, which was his own terminology for what he described as being able to induce an out-of-body experience at will and perceive the physical world in this form.

This was around the same time that the CIA began vigorously researching the same phenomena. In 1952 the Pentagon began exploring the possible usefulness of extrasensory perception in psychological warfare, and this became one of their primary intelligence concerns during the Cold War. This vested interest parapsychological phenomena, as well as the intelligence community’s competition in this area with both the Soviet Union and with Hubbard’s movement, continued for decades. In 1961, The USSR had begun announcing success with telepathy experiments, claiming “communication between two people separated by long distances, without conventional communication facilities” and had reported several more successful experiments throughout the 1960’s.

Throughout that decade, factions of the US intelligence community began trying to “seize Scientology” – the goal being to infiltrate the organization to learn the “truths” they kept closely guarded, as well as attain the highest levels of leadership and begin to spread disinformation and propaganda from the top down. In response to this threat, Hubbard issued an order in 1965 forbidding access to the upper levels of Scientology by any “Suppressive Group” or anyone connected to “police spy organizations and government spy organizations.” What was so attractive about Hubbard’s research was the success with which he had perfected the techniques of remote viewing and out-of-body awareness. Hubbard’s attempts at closing his organization off to members of the US intelligence community ultimately failed, as we shall see later. In fact, as of today, nearly every written work every produced by Hubbard has been updated and replaced with fraudulent versions with the most important information redacted and modified, including all OT level manuals, and just about everything except some earlier works not related to the paranormal. In fact it was this takeover and replacement of materials that produced the whole “Xenu” narrative that has provided so much ridicule for the organization in the media and in popular culture.

In the interest of space I’ve already left out a vast number of details, and even still this is beginning to become a bit long-winded. I will provide some external sources for those interested in investigating this topic further, but first, a little more history must be presented. I will try to keep this as brief and straightforward as I can. Some of you may have heard of a man named Dr. Hal Puthoff. He was an experimental physicist who, during the 1960’s and 1970’s, was contracted to work with the Central Intelligence Agency on experiments involving remote viewing and telepathy. During this time, he also successfully infiltrated Scientology and worked his way up to the very highest level, OT VII, in which it is said that the practitioner possesses complete control over their perceptual abilities, and can perceive reality not within the confines of that which their five senses presents to them. During the 1970’s and 1980’s Puthoff directed a program at the Stanford Research Institute whose primary purpose was to conduct remote viewing experiments. During this time he and Ingo Swann (another OT VII who had a CIA background) had conducted several successful experiments including having influenced the reading of a magnetometer, and having successfully locating a downed spy drone in South America via remote viewing, to name a couple.

(Continued...)

Where do I fit into all this? My story begins in Santa Clara, California, in the early 1980’s where I was a boy growing up with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). At the time, the exploitation of this disorder as a money-making machine for the pharmaceutical industry had not yet exploded into the mainstream the way it had in the 90’s. I was still treated for it, however, by various psychiatrists in the area including one at Stanford University – and it was around this time when my understanding of reality and space and time all began to change.

There was a point in my childhood at which I had a vivid, fully aware and completely conscious remote viewing experience in which, although I had been laying in my bed at the time, I was able to witness with complete clarity everything going on in our family’s backyard including everything everyone was doing (my two brothers were fighting over a soccer ball while my dad was making measurements the installation of a new hot tub, when he turned around to tell them to knock it off). Having not understood what happened, and having been a little bit frightened, I attempted to explain it to my parents, but my dad being a very skeptical atheist dismissed it out of hand. Once I described to him everything that he and others were doing, he could not help but seem a little bit perplexed, although he tried to hide this fact. At any rate, I wanted to understand what had happened and I ended up explaining the incident to the psychiatrist who was treating me for ADD at my next visit in an effort to obtain answers. Having been friends with some of the folks over at SRI, he referred me to them to see if they might be in any way interested. Long story short, I found myself in front of a couple of researchers explaining the event to the best of my ability at the time, and eventually found myself (after my family and I had to sign numerous documents affirming secrecy) participating as a regular test subject for remote viewing experiments.

And this is when it all began. There are a couple of facts I have not yet pointed out, but are extremely important in understanding spiritual liberation and in understanding the reasons for the no-nonsense measures that are taken to prevent it. This is probably the most important paragraph in this entire thread. One, once you “learn” to manifest your creative and perceptive abilities in a new way beyond that which you currently know, it cannot be unlearned. It is much like riding a bicycle; even if you have not ridden a bicycle in several years, as soon as you get on one, you immediately “know” or “feel” exactly what to do. It’s just something you don’t lose. The second important fact is as follows. Even if you don’t succeed at accomplishing a certain goal (such as inducing an OBE), the act of simply trying makes it a little bit more likely the next time. Back to the analogy of doing a cartwheel, even if you’re too fat, too weak, or for whatever reason too out-of-shape to do one, simply the act of trying to do one will cause the right muscles to be strengthened for future use. If you keep trying, day after day after day, eventually those muscles will become strong enough that you’re able to actually succeed in doing a cartwheel. Spiritual knowledge is like a muscle that is built up over time; it gets stronger as you attempt to develop it. Right now, in the human condition, this muscle is extremely weak, and difficult to strengthen, but with dedication, anyone can achieve the results they desire. Why are these two facts so dangerous to those who want to restrict spiritual evolution? Because they mean that the only direction you can move is forward; it is not possible to move backwards. You can evolve, but you cannot devolve. In fact, even if you die, your spirit, which is who you are, survives physical death and all your creative and perceptive power remains.

(Continued...)

I had discovered these truths over the years while participating as a remote viewing research subject at SRI. Much of the information I learned was based on the true, original information Hubbard had published before it was whitewashed. Because the research was of such a sensitive nature and because its implications were so powerful, this type of research was eventually moved to new undisclosed locations and shrouded in a much higher level of secrecy after the 1980’s and into the Gulf War era. In fact, today it is almost impossible to obtain any real information on current research into parapsychology. Additionally, every single FOIA request to release the original, real works of Hubbard (not the fake replacements) has been denied for “national security” reasons. At any rate, after I had moved on from my SRI days, I wanted to continue to grow in this area. I explored Scientology, since I had learned how intimately it tied in to the government’s research into parapsychology, but was disappointed to find out that it had become a complete counterfeit. It also became apparent that as time continued to go by, the intelligence community was trying more and more desperately to contain any and all information involving some of what went on at SRI. There are certain things that went on, that if I posted here today, would immediately result in a seizure of this web site for “national security” reasons, the information deleted, and information about which IP addresses viewed the material would be analyzed for further “action.” I am simply not going to post anything that I believe may put anyone at risk; it is not going to happen so don’t even ask.

There was a point at which I learned, the very hard way, that it is simply not a wise idea in this day and age to publicize the fact that you can attain a state of out-of-body awareness, without maintaining some degree of anonymity. In my days as a college student while studying mathematics at a university which I will not name, I indiscriminately flaunted my ability to induce out-of-body experiences at will and had even allowed some of my skeptic friends to watch me perform an experiment involving reading several playing cards that were removed from a deck in another dorm. After turning a few people’s worlds upside down, we got the incredibly stupid idea of going to a casino and trying a few rounds of poker, and needless to say, I ended up being seized and interrogated by casino security for hours and nearly arrested for “gaming fraud”, but since they could not technically prove anything, I was released. They did, however, inform me that I was never allowed back on the casino floor again. Two days later, one of the security personnel called me up and let me know (I don’t think he was supposed to) that they had been contacted by two federal agents inquiring about the incident and about my whereabouts. It was at this point I knew I had to find a new place to live, and learn to think twice about demonstrating out-of-body awareness in public.

At this point, I’ve become extremely cautious about protecting my personal identity online, but I believe I can do much to help others learn how to liberate their awareness and spiritually evolve, and I believe I can do so in such a way that it remains relatively “under the radar.” I understand that not everyone will be receptive to my story, but I also know that there are an innumerable number of you who know that there is more to the reality of your awareness than what you have been made to believe, and for those of you who fit into the latter category, I intend to shine my light for as long as it will shine before it is snuffed out or extinguished.

Peace be with you and I look forward to participating in the paranormal and metaphysics forums in the future.

Just remind us again about the higher levels of Scientology, about the Alien master races that control humanity. That surely deserves a mention amongst this lengthy post.

Great story. I can't believe I read it all but it is very interesting.

Of course, I think the way you avoid proving any of your claims for 'safety reasons' is quite convenient and immediately places them, and consequently the rest of your story, in serious doubt.

Why are you sharing any of this if you cannot in one way prove it? Is it followers you seek?

Fascinating read, and I am waiting for the rest. This falls under the categories of practice that I have also been working on now for quite some time with mindsight being one of the goals of the energy building work. Lloyd Hopkins was also very adept at this, and instead of using it for military applications adapted the practices to help blind people to be able to "see" with their minds and energy fields.

Fascinating stuff as I have seen it demonstrated, and I know it can work and be accomplished by just about anyone who puts in the time and effort to gain some profficiency. I believe that is why it has been kept out of the mainstream and is painted to be a "new age" or fringe topic. Believeing in extra sensory powers is knocked out of us at a young age by the modern educational paradigm, as they (The powers that be) do not want the average person being able to do these things.

You've got my attention.

reply to post by LesMisanthrope

Why are you sharing any of this if you cannot in one way prove it? Is it followers you seek?

Why can't he just inform us for the sake of letting us know, so that we may grow? It seems quite fitting that someone who is always looking for recompense would ask what someone else wants out of an exchange, don't you think?

Not everyone thinks that way. Sometimes, their joy is gained by watching others learn and knowing their secrets won't go to the grave.

reply to post by December21st2012

Just remind us again about the higher levels of Scientology, about the Alien master races that control humanity. That surely deserves a mention amongst this lengthy post.

If you don't want to be here, then go. It's that simple. Methinks you are only here to disrupt. Do us all a favor and either be constructive or be silent.

Apocryphon, thank you once again for sharing what you know (such as it appears to be). We who are open-minded are not guaranteed to instantly accept what you are telling us, but I for one will take it under thorough consideration. This, I think, is as much as you can hope for from any of us.

Personally, your account makes a great deal of sense. But it isn't hard to edit a fairytale, so that's as much as I can give you. Thank you for sharing a piece of yourself.

reply to post by AfterInfinity

Originally posted by AfterInfinity
reply to post by LesMisanthrope

 

Why are you sharing any of this if you cannot in one way prove it? Is it followers you seek?

Why can't he just inform us for the sake of letting us know, so that we may grow? It seems quite fitting that someone who is always looking for recompense would ask what someone else wants out of an exchange, don't you think?

Not everyone thinks that way. Sometimes, their joy is gained by watching others learn and knowing their secrets won't go to the grave.

What is he letting us know? The truth or the falsification of it? Shouldn't this cause you concern? Learning is not believing everything one reads. I mean he denounces skepticism as if it was a disease and the cause of all that's bad in the world. Give me one good reason to lap up his words like a loyal dog.

Your remote viewing experience as a child sounds remarkably similar to something that happened to me when I was younger. I've always been a believer since then.

You understand you're expecting us to take some of this stuff at face value, but hey, it was an interesting read either way.

Thanks.

I'll be here. I have read about the remote viewing experiments done by the government, or saw it on t.v. Anyway, everything you said rings truth to me.

I look forward to more of your posts.

Originally posted by AfterInfinity
reply to post by December21st2012

 

Just remind us again about the higher levels of Scientology, about the Alien master races that control humanity. That surely deserves a mention amongst this lengthy post.

If you don't want to be here, then go. It's that simple. Methinks you are only here to disrupt. Do us all a favor and either be constructive or be silent.

You should really work on your attitude.There's really no need to be so constantly negative. Surely the way to enlightenment is not just absorbing information without ever questioning any of it. How exactly are you being constructive?

OP: Beautifully written. You certainly have a firm grasp on the English language. A stranglehold, if I may. I can't say that I personally believe much of it, but cheers anyways.

Thank you for sharing the message.

I wonder why some will react with harsh words and messages of their own?

Accepted or rejected doesn't matter, you are providing them with a catalyst for "growth".

It is up to them to decide how to use it.

I am a closet dianetics /Scientology buff. I find the current state of the organization as very malicious and unpleasant. but quite a lot of Hubbard's writing served well in "cracking open" my head.

but what of all this "authorized to reveal" talk? do you remain in contact with or under supervision of some entity which directs your actions?


thanks for following through, at least. far better than others who've come before.

reply to post by LesMisanthrope

What is he letting us know? The truth or the falsification of it? Shouldn't this cause you concern?

Not really. More and more lately, I'm finding out that thousands of years worth of lies were actually truth and today's truth is actually lies. It's easier to make a lie look real than the truth itself. I think that actually has more to do with what we're willing to hear than anything else.

Have you given up on the truth?

Learning is not believing everything one reads. I mean he denounces skepticism as if it was a disease and the cause of all that's bad in the world. Give me one good reason to lap up his words like a loyal dog.

I never said to "lap his word up." Drop the attitude, or we're going to have problems.

What I am saying here - and READ CAREFULLY! Don't want you to misunderstand - what I am saying here it...don't dismiss his words out of hand just because you have limited experience.

Do you have any evidence against him? No? Then why are you arguing?

reply to post by LesMisanthrope


You don't have to lap up his words, you can very easily go someplace else and leave the interested to read without your disruption. If you don't want to read it please leave, and quit throwing this thread off course.

reply to post by LesMisanthrope

Give me one good reason to lap up his words like a loyal dog.

In my humble opinion the OP is not looking for anyone to lap up his words like a loyal dog. That seems to be your impression after reading for some reason, but no need to project that onto the OP.

The messenger is not of any importance, it is the message that counts.

If it does not resonate with the individual, simply leave it be and move on.