posted on Dec, 22 2012 @ 12:49 PM
So, I want to share with you something that has been bothering me for a while. To whit: the Elf on a Shelf franchise.
For those of you unfamiliar with this little Christmas delight, allow me to explain. Parents purchase a genuine Elf (a little doll that makes
Chucky look positively sane) and place said Elf in a conspicuous place to monitor the activity of the children. During the night, Elf visits the North
Pole and tattles. You can tell the Elf went somewhere because every morning the little mannequin is in a new place, just waiting for the kids to
Sheer genius, some will undoubtedly say. And for some families, this might even be a fun part of Christmas. My own brother uses the Elf (named
Lizzie) and my two nieces love looking for her every morning and reading the letters she occasionally leaves.
So I decided to try this with my son. Apparently, he's too much like his mother, because this did not go over well AT ALL.
We introduced the Elf (Bernard) and explained his purpose (to tell Santa all the good things my son does). We then set Bernard on my son's bookcase
and said goodnight.
Five minutes later there's a freaked out kid in my bed, saying the elf moved. And grew fangs. And was I SURE Bernard was a good elf, and not the
kind that eats little kids?
So Bernard made a journey downstairs and my son went back to his bed, only to return thirty minutes later to tell me Bernard was chasing the cats.
Cause everyone knows elves eat candy canes and cats.
I'll spare you all the ways he woke us up that night, but the end result was that Bernard got mailed back to the North Pole. Along with a note
from my son for Santa to use his magic ball and fire the creepy elves.
That was about a week ago. My son is STILL worked up over this elf business. He now follows his dad when we lock up at night to make sure
there's no way the elf can get in. Then we have to check under the bed, in all the drawers, and in the closet before he will consider going to
ATS, I know it's kinda funny, but I feel like I've traumatized my child and he's probably going to need therapy or something to get past this.
Any ideas? And if you're one of the families who use the Elf and find it works great, bah humbug to you.
P.S. I wouldn't put it past the CIA to have cameras installed in those elves.....