Thank you all for your support.
After days of thinking a bout it all I can pretty much sum it all up as to it was never really going to really work out between me and this woman.
I have beat myself up to the point of losing my min d these past couple of weeks.
After much reflection on our relationship of where we have been and where we have gone I can honestly say that we have been delaying the innevitable.
We are two complely different people tryi ng to live a life together.
I have to b e honest with myself and say that I had a freakout reaction to the result of us not getting along for some time now. I am not denying that
my drinking played a roll over the years and is a contributing factor in tghe outcome. But I cannot deny that I have made honest steps in improving
the now failed relationship.
I am a totally different person from when we first met. I have taken many seps in trying to make it work. There is no shame in me saying that it just
wasn't meant to be. Our differences have grown to a point where we are
no longer relevant to one another.
I must stop beating myself up and move on to better things. There is a woman out there who will love me for me.who will support me through thick and
I believe that if your woman doesn't want you to drink or party then she sbhould not either. I am not blaming her I just believe she could not or was
unwilling to support me in a proper manner to achieve the goals that she wanted me to achieve. After all who wants their better half not to party but.
They stay out until the wee hours coming home drunk and stoned. My answer to tghis is not a person that has their better halfs best inerest in
Like I said no excuses just the realization that I have been fooling myself into thinking it can and should work out. As much as it hurts to say I
must move on with my life. She wants something else which I believe she will never find.
I liejunkie called the aa hotline and the number was disconnected. Can I drive to a different town to seek the support of others like me. Sure I can.
Do I honestly want to. No I do not.
In my quest to find my way I have concluded that yes I have made so many mistakes that I cannot fit them all here. But I have also realized that I
must try and learn from my mistakes and niot deny or promise to anyone else that I will not make any more mistakes.